MIL not happy with the clothes (toddler) DD wears?

[BackToB4Beatrice]

MIL has asked that when she has DD she wears more pink and dresses "so everyone knows she is a girl"!

MIL babysits for me a couple of evenings a month (they don't go out as she doesn't have her until 5.30 ish) and then whenever MIL would like to have her/ be kind enough to take her out for the day.

Today they went to a little village fair, me and DH stayed at home as there was various mumsnetting jobs to be getting on with.

When they returned, MIL asked to talk to me and these were her exact words-

"when we have BeatriceBaby, please can she wear at least something pink- and really I woul like her to wear more dresses and "girly" stuff- so that every one who sees her knows she is a girl"

I replied-

"er, yeah I guess, it was a bit too cold for dresses today though?

MIL

"but she could wear leggings with them...."

Me

• " "

Just to add- I do not dress DD as a boy. Today she had blue and White pumps with bows on, skinny jeans, a square necked red White and blue smock type top, with the front of her shoulder lengh hair plaited sideways into a clip with a FREAKING flower on it!!

Is MIL off her rocker?? Should I just do as she asks- it's not really hurting me. Although I feel like it was just rude of her to even ask.........
What do you lovely MNers think?

She also has very slow growing hair and is often mistaken for a boy. Doesn't bother me at all, although I do feel bad for people who get very embarrassed when they realise they've got it wrong

Cracking up laughing at this thread.

We are just off to see my 18 month old niece. Her Mum has hidden all the pink well out of sight of my ASD son for fear of being accused of abuse. When she was born he kissed her, decided he adores her, & then made my sister solemnly promise never to be so cruel as to dress her in pink.

Pink is the colour of the DARK side in our house

Tell your MIL it would have been very unpatriotic to dress her in pink this weekend

What is she gonna do when your DD joins the school football team, rolls in the mud or decides she likes meccano? I think her fairy tale princess fantasies of sugar and spice are going to be dashed as your daughter grows up.

I´m really surprised that posters think that OP should buy something "frilly" to appease MIL-especially as she was (imo) so offensive.

If MIL hates the clothes so much-why doesn´t she buy a frilly dress as a present for her GD?

It's funny - I almost have the opposite situation, in that my mil disapproves of girliness and pink.
As I said, I'm not a pink fan, although we do have a bit of pink because I get great hand-me-downs from my friend, who chooses wisely, and if I'm honest, dd suits pink. I confess that I do take pleasure in her clothes though.
It's nothing crazy - she has a sharp, short little bob (cute as hell, and very practical) and lives in jeans and cords and converse...but mil often makes tight lipped little comments about what she's wearing, intimating over the top girliness which I can assure you, isn't actually happening. She looks ready for action...not like a cake!

It doesn't really bother me - I'm just illustrating that there's always one that isn't happy. If you're not dead against pink, then it's not worth making a point over. Choose your battles and all that. x

I think the mil would love to buy and choose a dress for her gd...and that's where the danger lies...it'll be her choice and most likely not to the OP's taste. That's why I recommend the OP buys something she likes.

And I certainly don't think the OP should buy something frilly - I never said anything about frilly! Be sensible!

I'm just saying pink might not be a favourite, but there's nothing wrong with it! To actively avoid pink is daft too. It's just a colour like any other.

Just smile and nod - let it go in one ear and out the other..count to 10...and dress her however you wish...plus this weekend I would think red/white and blue was more appropriate than pink!

I see what you mean by that-but also, why should OP, when purchasing clothes for her own daughter, take MIL´s opinion into account?

So I´m thinking that MIL maybe isn´t bothered enough to spend her own money/time on the issue!

she is being U and old fashioned and little bit sexist.
just say pink doesnt compliment babies complexion

Im not a fan of pink or frills , and when dd was born 19 n a bit yrs ago,
she got some erm creations frills and feathers .
My mum loved them she bought a lot of it
I didnt put half of it on her tbhit was a waste I put loads of clothes to charity say to your gran you will dress her in whatever you think is comfortable, It is hard though especially when they are so 'traditional'

Look...it's one dress or outfit or whatever.

My friend's ex mil gives her these awful frills and bows flouncy dresses for her two daughters. If they are going to stay the night with granny, on go the dresses. Granny is in raptures over them, and my mate doesn't have to look at the horror. Everyone is happy.

I'm just saying this needn't be a 'thing'.

Oh i am sorry didnt read all of your post your daughter isnt even a baby how girly does mil want her to be

pictish what do the girls think of the flouncy, frilly dresses?

Well one is wee - she's about to be five, so she doesn't much care. The other is 10 and obviously more picky now...so she doesn't get bought these things so much any more...but used to, when she was little like her sister. She didn't complain back then either.
It was never an issue really. What I remember most was the 'big reveal' where my mate would show us the latest offering.

lady I work with said she used to dress her now 20 something dd in hooped skirts and would sometimes put bells on them BELLS the daughter is now a jeans andtrainers kind of girl,

mrsJay she might have grown up and decided to dress like MaryMary quite contrary

I feel your pain OP.

My MIL expressed the same opinions when my DD was toddler, also that I didn't give her enough dolls to play with, I wore trousers too much (and not dresses and skirts) and I didn't wear make-up.

Now my DD is school-age, she loves dressing up as a princess, her favourite colour is blue (!), and she has many barbie dolls. I still wear trousers (due to my varicose veins) and little make-up.

...and MIL is still a bitch!! Just ignore yours!

Nagoo i was like this when she told me she used to handmake the dresses and put hoops and bells on

The thing is, it's NOT traditional to dress girls in pink. Back when I was little, and certainly when my mum was, little girls had short bobs and wore all sorts of colours. This thing of compulsory pink and long hair for little girls is a modern thing.

Both my girls were constantly mistaken for boys when they were little, because I didn't follow the 'code' of dressing them always in pink. (They did wear pink - I didn't boycott it - just no more than they wore other colours.) That didn't bother me nearly so much as people thinking how dreadful it must be to guess a child's sex wrong.

OP, I would feel very very irritated if I were you. However, it's probably not worth creating a big stink about. Just smile and wave, as others have suggested.

DD used to wear lots of different bright colours and hated pink, Recently (last 2 years) she has worn a lot of pink as that seems to be a favourite colour now. But she still gets people thinking she's a boy (she's now 6, with a long bob hair) as she is contantly in tracksuits and hoodies and sports gear. Usually lots of black, navy or grey marl (and often actually boys tracksuits as she wants sporty ones not frilly ones that are no good for running around in). And covered in mud (everyone KNOWS girls don't do mud!! )

If your DD is dressed suitably for the elements and is in things that you and she like, that is what is important.

YABU for putting SKINNY JEANS ON A TODDLER!

But the rest of the outfit sounds adorable.

What's wrong with skinny jeans?

It boils down to personal taste, you are dressing her in things she wouldn't dress her in. I don't really see tge problem in putting her in a dress occasionally, she does you favours do why not.

Pictish they look shocking on little children that's what....and uncomfortable too. Toddlers with their little figures do NOT need to be restricted in tight jeans....stretchy leggings that look like denim are different obviously but with evidence pointing to skinny jeans causing nerve damage, WHY would anyone put them on a small child? they're designed to look sexy on an adult...why put a little chld in something that is restrictive?

Settle petal.

My dd wears them. She's like my mum was (but I'm not...boooo) and is very small and petite. My mum was 4ft 10, and weighed 6 and a half stone on her wedding day. Dd is just like her.
Skinnies are the best fit on dd, bar none. They don't cling, and the waist is narrow enough that they don't fall down. They're the best thing for kicking about - anything else just swamps her. I heart the skinny jean.

I've seen other girls in skinnies, and with a cotton tunic and trainers they look great. Tough and practical. I've not ever seen a toddler girl yet, in skinnies that looked anything other than rum tum tigger.

Nerve damage? Have you a paper bag to breathe into?

Pictish, what does rum tum tigger mean? I quite like little kids in skinnies as long as they aren't tight.