To think I should have control over what my son eats at nursery?

[booomy]

My 9 month old started nursery this week. There has been a few issues but the food has shocked me! It's a sure start centre with all 1's from ofsted.

The first day I went in, the babies (15 of them) were being spoon fed smushed up chips and pizza! I was really shocked, and the next day had a bit of a to-do with the senior leader about DS not having chips. Pizza is fine as long as its home-made bread with tomato sauce cheese and veggies. No harm in that. But in my mind it's weird to be feeding babies as young as 5months chips, even if they are oven baked!

I also said I didn't want DS having dessert. He soon learnt that after dinner was dessert and started refusing his food, so we cut it out. They made a big fuss about it (example is fruit crumble & custard/ice cream). But after speaking to the head teacher, they just give him bits of fruit from snack time (melon, strawberries etc) that he's fine with!

Fast forward to today (jubilee party). The babies were baking (if you can call it that) when we arrived. I plonked DS in the music area, which he loves and he sat there occupying himself. One of the staff asked if he could make a biscuit with icing and I said no! They were really annoyed at me :( they said before lunch they were having milk and biscuits, and DS would feel left out. I said I really didn't want him to have one. If he felt left out then he could have a small bit of a plain one. DS has never had anything with refined sugar before. if he ate a biscuit with icing then i think he'd either have a headache or be bouncing off the walls!

Would you let a 9 month old have a icing biscuit? An odd treat is okay, but not for babies. If he was 3 or 4 and wanted one its different. Do you think i'm within my rights to ask for him to have fruit instead of a dessert?

ahh see now OP you sound a little bit judgey of those of us who dont think pizza and oven baked chips and the odd biscuit are 'crap'

A biscuit with milk at 10am when breakfast was presumably a distant memory and dinner is still an hour away doesnt sound bad at all. Infact Id be more pissed off if they didnt offer some sort of snack between breakfast and dinner to keep them going. Fruit on an empty stomach can cause tummy upsets, yoghurt might be too filling, a biscuit sounds just right to take the edge off IMO.

dreaming - we can agree to disagree here. A lot of kids do, my son included, because otherwise, he starts to lose weight rapidly. He is never at peace, and burns off a frightening amount of energy/calories.

A lot of the advice I've both read and received states that they need they need high calorie food at the stage OP's child is at.

BBC news agrees

Quote: "They simply won't get the calories they need from fruit and vegetables, even in large quantities."

Rodea I do that, pudding is always at home fruit & yoghurt, he only gets joyless special no nothing baby biscuits and the like.

And for that reason I am happy for him to have a little bit of cake & crumbles and that type of thing at nursery as its only a couple of times a week.

Give it 6 months and you'll be grateful if he eats anything, believe me.

As an experienced nanny and worked in paediatrics etc...

I would not be happy to feed any child this on a regular basis or at all really

Whats wrong with simple wholesome food?

My current charges meals this week have included:

Haddock/ mash/ vegetables
Mushroom risotto
Chicken and leek pie with vegetables
Salmon and mild chilli noodles/ veggies

We also do a lot of baking together but would make iced biscuits. What's the point? The eldest is only two and has younger siblings.

Spinach and cheese scones
Carrot and courgette muffins
Cheese straws

Cavey so bloody true. at 15 months now and some days will only eat

1. Cheese
2. Sausage

I personally have found that clearly defining and banning food as bad more unhealthy than a lick of an iced biscuit.

YABU to think you can leave your dc in Nursery and then dictate what he eats for each meal, which is what your title suggests..
Reading through, I see it's not quite that you are saying, but, yes, it's part of what allowing other people to look after them is all about. They will be catering for (60?) children, for 3 meals a day possibly. As long as they have a variety and a balanced diet, then you have to let go with some things you've been precious with up until now. It's hard when it's your first, but you have to look at the overall package of care they are providing, and try not to sweat the small stuff. Honestly, a bit of pizza and chips won't hurt any little one as long as that's not all they are eating. If it was something that was so important to you, then it should have been on your list of questions when you were chossing childcare in the first place.

My dd lived on grated cheese and baked beans for a month!

I agree Tantrums. Turning food into a fraught affair where some things are completely off limits is dangerous IMO. Food is a social thing - you share it with friends and you go out and have it as a leisure activity. Yes, it's for nutrition but it also has a huge pleasure element and if you turn it into a whole "allowed/forbidden" thing it just creates issues later on. It's important to feed children well, of course, but sometimes you also need to say "Ah feck it, it won't do any harm" and just unclench.

Whospickle-i guess everyones approach is different,personally I don't feel it is necessary,and for me I wouldn't be happy serving up a pudding-crumble etc twice a week. Like I said I have seen friends kids being given sugary sweets,puddings etc from a young age and it's not something I want to do with my kids-they are 2!
I appreciate as they get older their sugar/crap intake will increase and I won't have much choice about things they are given,but right now I do have that control and I really don't want to.

I don't think the opposite of 'turning food into a fraught affair' is 'feeding hem crap' and just giving up. I'd say it's having meals like the menus Greek or Charlotte posted above, all round the table together.

But I appreciate that's easier for a CM than a nursery.

YANBU, I'm afraid. With your child in childcare you should get a say but expecting 'control' is just not practical. Plus you are really getting overly worried about the puddings. Very young kids will burn these calories no problem. If your son started looking overweight that would be another matter.

Others have asked whether you have seen the weekly menus - have you? These should give you a sense of whether you just caught them on a bad day.

At home, fair enough, what the parent says goes, and you can control what food is given so it makes sense to make sure it's high quality and nutritious. But out and about, at nursery, at playgroup and at parties, you have to just let go and barring any allergies just allow the child to take part in the social element of eating and not spoil it for them by banning them and controlling them.

Bunty yes but high-calorie doesn't have to mean cake and sweets -- we give DS lots of cheese, at least that way he's also getting protein and calcium, not just sugar.

I can totally see where you're coming from though, if you have a son you really need to get calories into! I just don't think most kids really need it -- even my son, who's been 90th% his whole life, gets by without.

Look, I realise that criticising nurseries is one of those things thatnyou're not allowed to do on mums net. But I refuse to believe that anyone would be happy with their 5 month old being spoon fed mushed up pizza and chips. It's bizarre,

My DC think bolognaise is a treat. Or baked potato with beans. They like main meals as much as puddings (which are, for the main, fruit, yoghurts etc)

But nothing is restricted and nothing is ever mentioned as being 'a treat'. Fruit and yoghurts are a part of a diet, not a treat. Chocolate and biscuits the same. You can control how often things like this are eaten but why is such a fuss made of 'having something nice for pudding'? Why isn't the whole meal put forward as 'nice'?

FWIW, I rarely have sugary things in the house because I don't eat them or at least am trying not to. Maybe that is why I feel so strongly that whenever something is offered to DC I should not restrict it for fear of making them think of it as 'forbidden' whilst in the knowledge that if they are only eating sweets when given them by someone else, it is not happening often enough for it to be a problem. DC know that they can always have sweets/chocolate/whatever when it is on offer. They will just as often choose fruit or yoghurt as a packet of buttons. Cake, now that's a different matter

I think that you need to find a different nursery and ask questions about food first-you are either going to have to accept this one or continually argue.

I don't think you being unreasonable AT ALL.

I would be HORRIFIED if my 9 month old was fed bloody chips and pizza. That's unacceptable. What happened to plain veggies and plain meats?

Babies (yes, babies, they're not toddlers!) should be having NO salt, NO processed foods, NO refined sugar actually.

I have only been in the UK a few times, and have looked at schools, and a lot of school have really good menu's? I'd have another look around.

yanbu to think that the food they're giving is not the best. why on earth would you mash up pizza and chips for small babies? yuck

i don't have anything against oven chips for littlies, or pizza. as long as it's only occasionally and not every week!

yabu to think you can control what he eats there though. I think it's fine to ask for him to have fruit for pudding, but if you really have a problem with the food on the whole i think you would be wise to find a different nursery.
we have plenty round here who cook fresh food from scratch on the premises and who are very accomodating with different diets etc

i don't think a 9 month old needs to ice a biscuit, or eat an iced biscuit either, and he certainly won't feel left out, he's a baby! so yanbu on that one either

I would look at this in the context of their wider menu. If pizza and chips is a once-a-fortnight type of thing and the other meals are well-balanced and varied, I wouldn't be worried, personally. I also wouldn't want my own child feeling left out if the other kids were having bananas and custard, or whatever.

And FWIW I would have let the 9 month old have a go at icing a biscuit and nibbling it later. (I've never seen my DS on a sugar high, TBH.)

dreaming Agreed! It doesnt' need to be in a delicious cakey cakes and sweets form - I limit the amount of sweets he has (still got easter eggs in the house, and we don't have cake or biscuit at home either) - but I do resort to other calorific puddings as he is, unfortunately, a sweet tooth like me DH, and it's the only way to get the calories in.

For example, beans on toast (well, bread, he won't eat toast) - a typical amount for him is about a quarter of a slice of bread, and a quarter of a snap pot of beans. :( Trying not to make it a battle, but it is hard.

He used to love cheese, but has went right off it. At the moment, a lot of his calories come from porridge, yogurt, and custard. He's at the stage other people have alluded to - at times I'm just happy that he's eating, whatever it is! We've had days where all he'll eat is petit filous - not a healthy or balanced diet, and I am loathe to do it, but when it's between that, or not eating at all, then he gets the yogurt.

Mmm plain veg and meat. Yummy

yanbu at all, you are paying them to look after your child & they should listen & respect your wishes.

Raise it as an issue properly.

Ask the manager for the next months planned menu. You might find that actually it balances out. You might be happy with it overall.

At dds nursery, they have morning snack of fruit etc, lunch of homemade something such as toad in the hole and mash with veg. dessert is yogurt/fruit/jelly/etc

tea is something like beans on toast.

the babies all have the same as toddlers/pre schoolers but cut up appropriately.

I do think you need to chill out a bit- you've got a long haul ahead!