To think I should have control over what my son eats at nursery?

[booomy]

My 9 month old started nursery this week. There has been a few issues but the food has shocked me! It's a sure start centre with all 1's from ofsted.

The first day I went in, the babies (15 of them) were being spoon fed smushed up chips and pizza! I was really shocked, and the next day had a bit of a to-do with the senior leader about DS not having chips. Pizza is fine as long as its home-made bread with tomato sauce cheese and veggies. No harm in that. But in my mind it's weird to be feeding babies as young as 5months chips, even if they are oven baked!

I also said I didn't want DS having dessert. He soon learnt that after dinner was dessert and started refusing his food, so we cut it out. They made a big fuss about it (example is fruit crumble & custard/ice cream). But after speaking to the head teacher, they just give him bits of fruit from snack time (melon, strawberries etc) that he's fine with!

Fast forward to today (jubilee party). The babies were baking (if you can call it that) when we arrived. I plonked DS in the music area, which he loves and he sat there occupying himself. One of the staff asked if he could make a biscuit with icing and I said no! They were really annoyed at me :( they said before lunch they were having milk and biscuits, and DS would feel left out. I said I really didn't want him to have one. If he felt left out then he could have a small bit of a plain one. DS has never had anything with refined sugar before. if he ate a biscuit with icing then i think he'd either have a headache or be bouncing off the walls!

Would you let a 9 month old have a icing biscuit? An odd treat is okay, but not for babies. If he was 3 or 4 and wanted one its different. Do you think i'm within my rights to ask for him to have fruit instead of a dessert?

i don't think that your nursery's food policy sounds great TBH
i agree that some sugar in moderation is fine for toddlers (god knows dd2 steals plenty of dd1's sweets), but equally don't see the need for nurseries to offer it, especially to under 2s.

dd2's nursery offers, well, "nursery food" - fish pie, cottage pie, roast chicken dinner afternoon tea of sandwiches. they only offer fruit as a pudding in the under 2s rooms. the toddlers get proper puddings.

Mashed up pizza and chips is just ewww, really is that the best they could think of?

It's not that all these things are so harmful, they just don't seem necessary.

I know a bag of crisps is not going to kill my toddler but he doesn't need it and as he's just as happy eating fruit and yogurt, I don't see the point in giving it to him. I know when he's older I can't do much about it but that's for the future.

OP I'm not sure there's very much you can do, but just to say I don't blame you for being a bit about it.

Op the egg thing is more of a concern than the other things! I would be speaking to the manager about that. They should be working with you to prevent giving him egg if it makes him sick!

Is the daycare privately run or is it local authority?

Doormat and knowitall thanks for the overview , I honestly couldnt get past the homemade pizza dough bit without flashbacks of when I was a total PFB with my MIL over giving DS1 then also 9 months a WHITE BREAD sandwich, I recall needing my ventolin inhaler when I heard and ranted inbetween sobs "it wouldnt have been so bad if it was homemade bread" .

OP I kind of agree that at that age they dont NEED certain things like iced biscuits, but ahhhh it is lovely when they get to do and try fun things at nursery with their friends, although at 9 months he probably wouldnt feel left out yet. There again I am biased as I am now the exact opposite of how I was back then, DS2 (nearly 8months) has already tried a bit of ice cream, choc buttons, tea . As time goes on Ive come to realise that as long as they arent gorging on lard butties then the odd treat isnt a problem. and there is nothing cuter than seeing a baby eating something a bit sweet and really enjoying it

The egg thing is weird. Would they ask a veggie or Muslim to get a certificate?

You'd think that they would be happy to comply with avoiding something that he was intolerant to for the sake of his wellbeing and not having to deal with messy nappies, vomit or crying due to pain.

By the way I ran a baby room for 5 years and the LAST thing I ever would of wanted was any child being sick!

Now see I started thinking you may be a bit pfb but after saying that they had to have a doctors note and wouldn't stop serving him egg I think yanbu. Ds had an egg allergy (not anaphylactic) but rashes and dodgy tummy. We told nursery when he started and they told the company who cook their food that he was only ever to have egg free food. I'd not be happy if I'd had to produce a doctors note when they should believe me as his parent.
I wouldn't mind the baking as ds has done that and the biscuits/pizza has always come home with him. The pizza I don't think is too bad but think requesting fruit/yogurt instead of pudding is fine and they should respect your wishes. Everything in moderation though.

YANBU,I don't get this whole 'when you have your 2nd or 3rd child you will be a little less pfb about what they eat'
My twins are 2,they eat healthily but do have treats in moderation,and by a treat I mean fruit,yogurt etc.I am not being pfb or over the top,I want my children to eat healthily and sorry that does not include pizza and chips at 9months old.
OP you absolutely have the right to comment on the standard of food your child is being given,I would be very concerned about the issue with the eggs though,maybe it is worth a morning off work to get to the doctors and get a note?
I also would not be happy with biscuits being given regularly,again why the comments about 'relax it's only a biscuit',OP doesn't want her child to be given this regularly,if you are happy feeding your kids the processed crap on a regular basis then that's your decision,I am not and agree wholeheartedly with you OP.
My children are happy and healthy,and have a very varied diet,just nit full of crap,seems like OP wants the same

'If you send your child to nursery, or a CM then I think you accept you relinquish some control unless you provide a packed lunch'

This is the crux of the issue. Sorry but you sound awfully precious with your talk of refined sugar. Is this your first baby? If it is and you have more babies in the future, it's quite likely your older children will feed the younger 'refined sugar' when you aren't looking!!

Bottom line is that if you don't like what's on the menu, change to a nursery where you do like what is on it. There are nurseries out there that have chefs on site who only serve organic food. My daughter went to one years ago - it cost ££££! But obviously there is a market for parents who are very concerned about what their children consume.

OP yanbu this does sound quite strange things to be doing with a 9 month old, and a weird diet to be feeding them. I have a 9 month old too, who is my 3rd and i dont think i am a pfb type at all even with my first but even I would be suprised by a nursery shoveling mashed up pizza and chips in their mouth n getting them doing the icing biscuits at that age (its not really age appropriate is it? theres other messy play that would be a lot more suitable for their level and skills as a 9 months baby). I'm quite suprised by this as i would have expected better from surestart nurseries. I've never had any of mine in a nursery but have been in my surestart centre a lot and they normally try to encourage healthy eating!

DS has pizza but not chips. I think chips are on the menu sometimes.

Bit odd for a 9 month old to mash a chip and feed with a spoon? But Pizza as finger food (homemade) seems ok.

Sounds a bit harsh to me about the Jubilee biscuit though. Personally, I think its better to let them have an occasional treat, as if they have nothing at all, it encourages gorging out of the house when they are older. Seen a kid who was not allowed sugar at home eating discarded cakes out of a bin once.

YANBU. Speaking from bitter experience, you want to leave it as long as possible before introducing a child to refined sugar. And pizza with oven chips has very little nutritional value, I'd have thought, and completely inappropriate for a nine month old.

Infact OP, I wonder if a bit of this is a little resentment? When DS1 started nursery, which is always hard, giving up care of your most precious 'possession' to someone else, I did sometimes feel a bit miffed that there I was, for nearly a year before cooking homemade stuff, making sure it was low fat, low sugar low taste etc etc and then off he goes to nursery and gets to eat cakes and biscuits. I kind of felt "hang on a bloody minute, I'm told by HVs etc to not give him this stuff but apparantly its ok for an outstanding ofsted rated nursery to give it to him WTF?". Also I felt a bit put out that if he had a biscuit/treat in nursery I thought it meant I couldnt/shouldnt treat him when I got home from work IYSWIM.

I biscuit = a diet full of crap?

Yes absolutely :(
It's a slippery slope isn't it???

FFS

they eat healthily but do have treats in moderation,and by a treat I mean fruit,yogurt etc

This is where I totally disagree. Fruit and yoghurts are an important part of my DC diet, not an occasional treat. Why would you have to restrict fruit and yoghurts?

YABU.

My DS is 16 months, and loves baking at nursery. Kids need a pudding - they need the calories. I think you'd struggle to find a nursery that didn't offer one. I agree fruit is great, our nursery gives fruit at snack times and raisins after breakfast, but they generally get something sweet, such as a little cake, or custard etc after their lunch and dinner.

As others have said, his baking gets sent home to us to enjoy to decide what to do with.

Mushed up pizza and chips doesn't sound appealing, but I'd be ok with that as finger foods - especially since a 5 month old, according to government guidelines, shouldn't be weaned anyway. The salt/fat content of all nursery food, at least the good ones, which yours seems to be with the OFSTED rating, is carefully monitored. They are within very specific guidelines. I would trust their judgement, tbh.

Oh sorry, I missed the bit about eggs. That's absolutely ridiculous, is there someone higher up you can appeal to?

I'd love to have a choice over where to send him/nanny share would be ideal!I'm a uni student living in the city centre (DP is an accountant). We are the only family for miles around it seems, we both need to live here for uni/work and there is one tiny sure start nursery within reasonable distance!

I'm off to collect him at 3. I was using this thread for reassurance more than anything, and i'm glad i'm not the only one not feeding my baby crap! I think i'll give it another week, with checking the menu's etc and if I find out they won't respect my wishes then i'll have to search for somewhere/someone!

If you want complete control of your DS's diet then you need to stay at home with him or employ a nanny.
If you don't like what this nursery serves, find another one or another childminder.

The biscuits were for them to eat with milk at 10am (lunch at 11am). they weren't for me to be sent home with!

"Kids need a pudding" -- no, they really don't.

I don't restrict fruit and yogurt,they obviously have it as part of their diet.what I mean is that it is classed as a treat to get a bowl of strawberries or pineapple as a 'dessert' rather than a sugary pudding if that makes sense?!
Maybe people think I'm being pfb as well but I have seen friends and family giving their kids crap from an early age and have seen them turn into fussy eaters that won't eat anything healthy.I Want my kids to eat and enjoy their food but also appreciate a treat.I think that's not a bad thing is it?

By the sounds of things you wont like the menu at a lot of nurseries.

Maybe a Childminder is a better option, or one where you can make a packed lunch and take it in.

Whats this about the eggs?

Im happy with DS menu. The odd day he gets pizza and there is lots of variety as well and a lot of fruit and veg.

Did you not ask about the menus etc before you enrolled him? If you put your child in the (paid) care of others there is going to have to be a bit of control relinquished.

You may well have a point about pizza and chips (at 9 months ) but tbh you do come across as bit uptight and pfb. Not saying that's not understandable - getting used to your DC being in the care of others is a bit of culture shock, but in childcare of this type they have many other children and parents to consider and you run the risk of being very unhappy and driving the staff up the wall if you insist on trying to micro-manage every morsel that passes your child's lips whilst he's there.

Have you thoroughly investigated childminders in your area? I wonder if this might be a better option for you?

An occasional slice of pizza or biscuit doesn't equate to a diet full of crap.

Ds was thankfully very easy to wean meaning by 9 months he was eating pretty much anything. Occasionally that would include pizza, more often he would have a biscuit. He is 2.5 now and still has those things occasionally because he likes them. He certainly doesn't have a diet full of crap, he has a healthy, balanced diet.

I hate this idea of bringing up children thinking there are good foods and bad. There aren't, anything is ok in moderation.