To think I should have control over what my son eats at nursery?

[booomy]

My 9 month old started nursery this week. There has been a few issues but the food has shocked me! It's a sure start centre with all 1's from ofsted.

The first day I went in, the babies (15 of them) were being spoon fed smushed up chips and pizza! I was really shocked, and the next day had a bit of a to-do with the senior leader about DS not having chips. Pizza is fine as long as its home-made bread with tomato sauce cheese and veggies. No harm in that. But in my mind it's weird to be feeding babies as young as 5months chips, even if they are oven baked!

I also said I didn't want DS having dessert. He soon learnt that after dinner was dessert and started refusing his food, so we cut it out. They made a big fuss about it (example is fruit crumble & custard/ice cream). But after speaking to the head teacher, they just give him bits of fruit from snack time (melon, strawberries etc) that he's fine with!

Fast forward to today (jubilee party). The babies were baking (if you can call it that) when we arrived. I plonked DS in the music area, which he loves and he sat there occupying himself. One of the staff asked if he could make a biscuit with icing and I said no! They were really annoyed at me :( they said before lunch they were having milk and biscuits, and DS would feel left out. I said I really didn't want him to have one. If he felt left out then he could have a small bit of a plain one. DS has never had anything with refined sugar before. if he ate a biscuit with icing then i think he'd either have a headache or be bouncing off the walls!

Would you let a 9 month old have a icing biscuit? An odd treat is okay, but not for babies. If he was 3 or 4 and wanted one its different. Do you think i'm within my rights to ask for him to have fruit instead of a dessert?

doormat Surely you end up with a 9month old who eats a lot of biscuit mix? Or is that just DD when she helps out in the kitchen?

Do people really think that carefully about the tiny amount a nine month old eats? I would worry if a child was stuffing themselves with a tonne of chips and then eating a huge slice of pizza, but surely a growing child who needs plenty of calories can handle two lots of carbs. Besides potatoes are very high in nutrition and bread provides vitamin B12 so both have properties beyond being high in carbohydrates.

Would it be better for a child to eat more pizza and no chips or something?

I am inclined to say YANBU.

Strawberries are a high allergen food and should be avoided before 12 months.
While I don't really see the harm in pizza, oven chips and a bit of icing, I don't think there is any need for it either. Babies of 9 months old are barely weaned, they should still be having really simple foods - experimenting with tastes and textures, not having mushed up oven chips.

The nursery my son went to certainly did not have these food for babies. I think it was really only once they were over 1 that they would have cake etc. Many parents have dietry requests, with about 1/2 opting for fruit instead of a sweet desert. I really don't think you are being unreasonable.

If they asked you whether it was OK to bake biscuits and you said no, then they should respect that. I really don't think a 9 month old would feel left out! Their attitude would concern me a lot.

Could someone summarise for Mr? I couldn't

Stupid phone.

Can someone summarise for me? I can't get past the bit about homemade pizza dough

Op from what you have said you don't have much of an alternative as its the best in the area and no childminders etc. So while your son is there you need to be happy or it will eat away at you.

Is everything else ok about the nursery? Are you happy with the staff who are caring for your child? I think that is THE most important thing to focus on. I am more concerned that they were visibly annoyed with you! If everything else is ok try see the food issue as a small part of his time there. Could you ask them to give him an alternative on the pizza and chips day? Or send him something from home on that day? Sometimes you have to compromise and let go a bit. Like someone else said they are catering for lots of children and they can't offer every parent a tailored choice of food everyday. However they should be willing to make some compromises within reason.

link here to the content of fats and salts in oven chips for anyone that is interested www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-441908/So-chips-new-health-food.html

fred no because you guide the childs hands with your own...after mixing etc i always placed their hands in a wash bowl or under a tap...they may have got a bit of flour on their clothes, that wasnt covered by a pinny

Cailin surely if a baby eats small amounts you should hink more, not less, about the quality. Pizza and chips is tons of carbs, prob salt, hardly any protein or good fat. I know you can say pizzas have tomatoes and veg on but lets face it most have a scrape of Tom purée, a tiny bit of cheap cheese and a slice of mushroom. That and chips not good enough IMO

YANBU - I
Wouldn't be happy with the food or being put under pressure to give my child food 'because they'll feel left out'.

hairylemon to summarise op feels its wrong her 9mth old is being fed mashed pizza and chips at nursery every 3 weeks...also that the children were making biscuits for jubilee and op felt this was wrong as a 9mth old should not have biscuits iho...

half and half are in agreement

hairylemon

Every 3 weeks 9mo is fed pizza and chips. Not force fed, and I have no idea how much she eats but judging by the average 9mo, not much.

She was going to ice and nibble on a biscuit for the jubilee today but mum caught it in time.

How's that?

you can see where I stand on this

I was ready to say YANBU about the pizza and chips but if it's once every three weeks and he has a healthy diet the rest of the time, I wouldn't be getting my knickers in a twist about it.

As for the biscuit, I would not have stopped my child doing a fun activity at a party, especially if I had control over when he ate it or how much he ate. But it's up to you.

If you are unhappy with the food at nursery in general you need to change your childcare arrangements. I've never come across anywhere that allows cakes every other day for birthdays.

But surely most children in nursery have their dinner at home?

The way I look at it, during the day is a busy time so food should be quick and filling - something like a sandwich or pizza is fine. Then dinner is the time for protein, a lot of veggies etc. I think worrying to that degree about every single meal is a bit pointless really.

And the parent of the 5 month old given mushed up pizza and chips has more cause to complain as they shouldn't have gluten at that age!

Well - this is unusual. The menu posted above with cottage pie or roast is
More typical I think. Worrying and letting your worries be known might change the nursery's menu. Which is not pointless.

No I genuinely wanted opinions! He's my first baby and leaving in the care of someone else is a big thing. When i've breastfed him and cooked from scratch with organic stuff for 9 months like i've been told you should, to send him to nursery and within a day to be bombared with processed foods and sugar is scary and a lot for him to have in one go! I don't know anything, and all my mum friends are first timers too so we've all being going off health visitor advice to keep them healthy. I don't want to be a crazy parent, that's why I wanted opinions and I'm glad other feel the same.

The ones who disagree haven't given valid reasons why other than 'i'm being precious' or ridiculous! The people who've agreed with me seen to put forward better arguments!

if you don't believe me about the smushed up pizza and chips then i'd be more than happy to pm you the sure start phone number for you to check :) they do'nt have time to give 60 children finger food unfortunately, they need to spoon it in.

The nursery are very weird with asking not to have certain foods. The asked if DS was allergic to anything and I said egg, not an allergy but an intolelrance as it makes him vomit everywhere! I was told he'd be served it until I can produce a doctors note. I said no, i'm not wasting a doctors time, a morning off work and my money when you should just listen to what I say as his parent. I just don't like the fact I can't have a say if there is something I don't want him to have!

I've already said why there are no nursery's/childminders around!

Cailin it depends if it's a private nursery or not. In a private nursery they will usually give 'tea' at about half four for the children who are there til 6/6.30pm.

An iced biscuit???

one jubilee iced biscuit

It's very very unlikely that would cause a 9 month old to "bounce off the walls"
Personally I've never experienced this bouncing over a bite of iced biscuit, he probably wouldn't have eaten much of it anyway.

It seems a bit meh to say he is not allowed to bake, or eat a little treat, and he can only have a little piece of a plain biscuit.

As all 3 of my DCs were at nursery from 5 months, I found that you have to accept a nursery with multiple children is not going to look after your dc the same way that you would.
There will be all kinds of activities, food, mess, experimenting with things you may not have done yourself.

IMHO , you will never find a nursery that will allow you to be in control of every aspect of childcare, and I think you need to accept that when you decide to use nursery care.

Otherwise you will be in and out, expecting individual treatment for your dc, and it's not going to happen.

They will not do things like you would do, it's not practical to suggest otherwise.
Obviously the baking was designed to be a whole group activity, because you said no, they now have to do something else with just your child taking a staff member away from the group.

Every three weeks doesn't sound that often.

Is the fact that you're limited to the vegetarian options mean they aren't very imaginative with the food? Then again at 9 months my baby who does eat fish and a bit if meat now (14 months) was mostly eating vegetables, rice, pasta at 9 months.

Also, at 9 months will she eat much of the biscuit or is the 'fun' in the making of them?

I'm surprised about the egg thing, that just seems bonkers.

I don't think they're going to listen to you unfortunately. FWIW I did say YANBU but to a certain extent I would feel the same as you - I would find it hard to relinquish control. The only advice I would have is to try to convince yourself to at least relinquish control over food and then pick your battles from there on in, as otherwise the whole thing is going to be very stressful.

boomby I do understand why you're worried about this, I would freak out if anything that wasn't homemade or organic went within 3 feet of my DS. But, and I mean this kindly, if you are handing over the care of your child to others, you are going to have to expect some changes to take place. You have every right to question the food if you feel it is inappropriate for your son but perhaps you need to think about whether this nursery is the one for your son if you are really unhappy with the food on offer? Are you sure there are no childminders around? Are you in a very remote area?

OP- I'm a third time mother and I think yabu and yanbu.

I think that the pizza and chips are ok (9 month olds aren't exactly eating big quantities of food) but the biscuits and icing is OTT.

Tbh I think that a 9 month old would happily be fobbed off with something else (a piece of fruit or a cracker shaped like a biscuit?) or he could make the biscuit but not eat it.

I'd be surprised if all the children at nursery were eating exactly the same meals. My children are at school but there are children with specific dietary requirements in all of their classes (off the top of my head I can think of strawberry, dairy, gluten and veggie children) so I think that you are not unreasonable to specify no dessert.

Gosh, who'd have guessed it was your first child OP...

I thought I was precious, but honestly, you need to lighten up. fair enough to ask for fruit instead of other puddings, but provided they are not feeding him processed food every day, then I wouldn't worry too much about it. Presumably you were able to find out what food they would be feeding him before you sent him there? The odd bit of cake or biscuit can be part of a healthy diet and whilst a 9 month old certainly doesn't need it, in small amount I doubt it will do any harm.

I suspect he'd be more interested in playing with icing a biscuit than eating it too at that age.

If you're really bothered by it then either look for alterantive childcare or ask to send a packed lunch with him.

If I were you I band together with two of your friends and get a nanny share / CM between you :)

I do think that you chose the nursery, and that if you are so concerned about her having homecooked organic food that you should have checked this out first.

The people who are saying 'You're being precious' are just speaking from experience. Nobody is going to say, 'Sure, feed your child processed salty foor every day, it won't hurt her'. What they are trying to get across is look at the bigger picture. They are saying that once in a while, they would not mind pizza and chips. They are saying that you have to make your choices, and you can choose to not work, not earn and therefore not afford to give your child organic food, or you can go back to work and choose your childcare according to what is important to you.

If this is such a problem for you, you have to come to another arrangement. Either change nurseries or not work. You have to decide what is important. So in the scheme of things, what are you willing to let go?

And were the pizza and chips made from scratch? All nurseries and schools I have known have made food fresh and it has no added salt and no plasticy cheese.