To think I should have control over what my son eats at nursery?

[booomy]

My 9 month old started nursery this week. There has been a few issues but the food has shocked me! It's a sure start centre with all 1's from ofsted.

The first day I went in, the babies (15 of them) were being spoon fed smushed up chips and pizza! I was really shocked, and the next day had a bit of a to-do with the senior leader about DS not having chips. Pizza is fine as long as its home-made bread with tomato sauce cheese and veggies. No harm in that. But in my mind it's weird to be feeding babies as young as 5months chips, even if they are oven baked!

I also said I didn't want DS having dessert. He soon learnt that after dinner was dessert and started refusing his food, so we cut it out. They made a big fuss about it (example is fruit crumble & custard/ice cream). But after speaking to the head teacher, they just give him bits of fruit from snack time (melon, strawberries etc) that he's fine with!

Fast forward to today (jubilee party). The babies were baking (if you can call it that) when we arrived. I plonked DS in the music area, which he loves and he sat there occupying himself. One of the staff asked if he could make a biscuit with icing and I said no! They were really annoyed at me :( they said before lunch they were having milk and biscuits, and DS would feel left out. I said I really didn't want him to have one. If he felt left out then he could have a small bit of a plain one. DS has never had anything with refined sugar before. if he ate a biscuit with icing then i think he'd either have a headache or be bouncing off the walls!

Would you let a 9 month old have a icing biscuit? An odd treat is okay, but not for babies. If he was 3 or 4 and wanted one its different. Do you think i'm within my rights to ask for him to have fruit instead of a dessert?

If that is the case neither will the other kids but they still do it! All she's doing is segregating him for activities, activities which they enjoy as someone who works with children has already stated.

Your comment about how he won't know it's related can be said about lots of things

And my last comment was just my opinion which I know id a very closed minded one but which I am entitled to have. I do not expect ANYONE on here to agree with it.

I think they should be respectful of what you want him to eat, especially at 9 months!

DS can't have dairy/soya so we provide our nursery with alternatives that he is allowed and they are very good at sticking to it. They went through the menus with me and showed me the ingredients list and I ticked all the things he could have from what they provide.

Could you approve items from their list and provide alternatives on days they are serving things you don't want him to have?

does it matter whether the other children will or not? what has that got to do with it?

the OP is well within her rights to request her BABY is not given sugary treats.

Like the OP said, if he was an older toddler and would actually enjoy the activity and have any idea what he was actually doing it would be different.

but he is a baby. he has no idea what baking is, he has no idea what they are getting him to do, he can't actually bloody bake can he?

he's way too young,
so he won't care if he doesn't do it either. a 9 month old is hardly going to be sat there thinking "oh gosh, all the other children are clearly making biscuits, but i'm not"

At 9 months Ds would have wanted to be where the action was and get his hands in and join in! I remember DN at 10 months having a cracking tantrum because he wasn't baking with me when his brother and cousin where.

The things the op mentions she has herself admitted are occasional so it doesn't seem worth making a fuss about.

That is not the point thesis yesterday. It's about providing stimulation. Him playing with the different textures as he messes about with the ingredients. He'll have fun, nothing else should matter.

There's a lot of things we do with 9 months old babies that they dont understand, do you suggest stopping those too?

yes, things he could experience in other ways too

none of my 3 ever went to nursery. none of them ever "baked" at 9 months old

am pretty sure they aren't scarred for life they did plenty of other things that stimulated them etc etc

and do you honestly think that the nursery staff were letting them handle all the ingredients?

i bet not. i bet it was a case of chucking stuff in a bowl and then letting the babies "stir" it with a spoon or something

a 9 month old baby is not ,missing out by not being allowed to "bake" one time in his entire life is he
not will be miss out on not eating one bloody biscuit.

I don't think i knoiw anyone who bakes with their small babies.
this kind of thing has only come about because of nurseries and our obsession with constantly over-stimulating and "teaching" our children non-stop from the moment they're born.

You seem very defensive over the matter, is there a problem? I never said they'd be scarred for like, I never said it would do any harm. I said he'd have fun and get involved.

The fact of the matter is the children were doing an activity which this particular child missed out on because his mother is being a little bit silly.

I'd want my child to be involved, rather than sitting out because I had a sugar problem.

"The fact of the matter is the children were doing an activity which this particular child missed out on because his mother is being a little bit silly. "

and my point is that at 9 months old, with plenty of other stuff going on, he will have no idea that he is missing out, and therefore will be unaffected by it.

DD didn't have any sugar until she was a year. I live in North America where EVERYTHING has sugar in it and I don't want her to get a bad palate PFB. I feel differently about things like pizza and chips. Children can take more fat than adults and pizza is just tomato and cheese on toast IYSWIM. Oven chips are just potato. DD wouldn't have been having that biscuit either

On don't get me wrong mrsterry I'm not sure where I stand with the sugar thing, I just don't think he should have been left out of the actua making of it. Wheres the harm there?

thisisyesterdsy since you have so much to say on the matter what are your reasons for the baby not to be involved? Any valid ones? And no, just because 'not doing it won't affect him' is not a valid reason.

I'm unsure tbh. Mainly because at 9months old my DS didn't have teeth so he sucked food but ate pureed stuff - and no I wouldn't think he needed or should have pureed pizza and chips

I'd have let him lick the icing off of chew/ suck the biscuit though.

But then my DS was at a Canarian nursery and they fed the children all sorts - including Olives, again yuck!

I'm sure DS sucked a few chips at 6 9 months but they were to try what mum and dad were eating not as a meal.

What I do think is if your not happy then you need to look elsewhere, or maybe compromise and only make a deal about those foods which are a huge biggie to you - or you'll come across too highly strung and they'll think it's the way you are not that you have a genuine greivence. Very hard when you moan about everything to get people to take you seriously when something really irks you. (iyswim?)

I find the whole no buttered toast for the whole class because one child is allergic to dairy extreme.
If it wasn't satisfactory that it was being cleared away properly, and there wasn't room for them to be segregated, I'd be very cross if my son wasn't allowed dairy for the sake of one child.
Surely the. You'd go for a childminder??

I think strict policing of what your children eat is nonsense, anyway. I can understand it if your child has proven intolerance or allergies, but for everything else...??!! So long as things are in moderation and not for breakfast ,dinner and tea,every day, I don't see the need to be so inflexible.

" And no, just because 'not doing it won't affect him' is not a valid reason."

why isn't it?? why do you get to choose what is and isn't a valid reason?

if a parent doesn't want her child doing a particular activity that's entirely up to her. it doesn't matter in the slightest whether YOU think her reason is valid or not. it is HER choice.
her child, she gets to choose if he does an activity or eats a sugary biscuit.

I have simply been replying to those who have said that the child will miss out, and that it's unfair for him to be left out of an activity. It isn't unfair if he has no idea it's happening. if it was a toddler who was very aware of what the others were doing and eating then yes, i'd agree. but this is a small baby who doesn't care either way.

thegrandoldduke I totally agree with that.
how do you feel about nut policies?

people seem to think that it's absolutely normal/fine for schools or nurseries to have a nut ban.
but not a ban on anything else?

You're stating the bloody obvious, we all know it's up to her, she posted in AIBU so I'm saying WHY I think it's unreasonable.

'it isn't unfair he doesn't know what is happening' is just plain stupid. It's like saying, don't play with him he won't know any different ,

And it isn't a valid reason at all. That's ridiculous reasoning.

of course he would know if he wasn't being played with.

but in a nursery setting, with plenty of other activities going on he won't know that he is missing out on ONE thing will he?

and yes, i'm stating the bloody obvious because you seem hell-bent on missing the fucking point.

not sure if you're doing it on purpose or whether you really are that stupid, but I suspect it's the former

I think I'm just going to let this drop for your sake, you seem to be getting worked up.

Op - YANBU

There is no way I would want my dc to be given chips, pizza (unless homemade) or icing at 9 months. Not a chance. "pudding" is yoghurt and fruit.

My 5 year old is another matter and since she started nursery at 3 I've accepted that she will be given all sorts of treats to eat. And that's fine (although they do get a lot of treats!).

But at 9mo it's completely unnecessary. I am feeling irritated on your behalf! Is this nursery really your only option? Would a nanny be any more expensive?

I have also had people wanting to give my baby "treats." Tell you what is a treat - setting him up for a long and healthy life by giving him the best nutritional start I can!

From all the above rude and dismissive responses you will see why our country has obesity, diabetes and dental problems, all for fitting-in with peer pressure to eat something sweet AND unhealthy. Do you all run your cars on washing up liquid for a treat then? ! You sound like a fab mum. DOn't let em get to you - trust your instincts to love and protect your child, don't let the village raise them cos they want conformity not your child's best interests. You're the parent - stand your ground I am rooting for you x x