To ask DH not to go to his uncles funeral because we are on holiday

[theplumfairy]

DHs uncle sadly passed away after a long debilitating illness. His funeral takes place two days into our holiday.
DHs uncle was a lovely man and DH was fond of him but not extremely close. We saw him maybe 4 times a year.
He Was DHs dads favorite brother.

DH has been asked to carry the coffin with his brothers. He wants to go to the funeral and postpone going on holiday. With travelling times our holiday will be cut short by 3 days but we only had 5 days booked at our first first destination anyway so it is going to eat into our two week break.

I have told him that I will do what he wants but I really don't want to cut short a much needed holiday. Whilst I want to be supportive I knew I wouldn't be able to hide my feelings.

His parents have told him not to cut short our holiday. My family and friends say we shouldn't.

AIBU?

I agree terry.

You could come back and haunt the buggers salmon. That'll teach em.

I don't really care what my funeral is like because I won't be there. If it is important to someone I love, I attend. However, that has nothing to do with being missed. I think my friends and family will miss me in their own way. Maybe I will leave an enormous tab at my local. That should guarantee some attendees.

I'd never do that.
I prepare a lovely speech and sing a pretty song

It's a TWO week break for crying out loud. He should go if he wants to IMO.

Sorry should have read the whole thread

Wow. you have to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet before you decide to support your DH on an occasion like this? Unbelievable.

why is this even a thread

I know what you mean MrsTerry - but my heart rules my head here!
Of course I know with my head that I won't know who the hell will turn up at my own funeral - but I'd love a good turnout!

And haunting WhosPickle - yes, I fully plan on doing some of that!

Tufty - I'll be sure to include you in the billing at my funeral.

I want a proper song mind ...

Hmmmm.... It's a tricky one. I missed my favourite Uncle's funeral, as I was in Australia on holiday. I only found out 48 hours before the funeral, and I couldn't afford the c.£2k to get back, and it would have been touch and go if I'd have made it anyway. I have no religious belief so I don't think he knew either way, but I did do my own visit to his grave when I got back. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you make your own decision and have to live with it, whatever you decide....

[Whispers] I don't think you ABU. I wouldn't want anyone to cut short a holiday just to attend my funeral (many years from now...) I can't believe the amount of flak you are getting for even asking the question!

Jen - but you were already half way round the world. Totally different scenario.

bella - You ruined the unanimous YABU!

The only death I have never come to terms with is my uncles, I was not allowed at the age of 14 to go to his funeral.

I do not know where he is buried as it is a closed discussion in the family ( god knows why) have not even been to his grave. How I wish I could lay him to rest in my mind, but I can't because I have had no closer.

I'm with you Mrs TerryP regarding funerals.
I don't go to them and will not be having one myself. I've donated my body to medical science after I've gone so they can do with it what they will. I feels it's a far better use of my corpse than burning it or putting it in a hole (though they probably will burn it once they've finished rooting about).
I'd much rather people were nice to me when I'm here than saying lovely things about me once I've gone.

YABU and pretty blooming selfish, it's your DH's relative, so his decision.

Well done, Loreen... Possibly not the best place to inform us.

That thread's already in Classics, Lorqueen. Don't use peach yogurt on it.

I'm sorry about your uncle, McHappyPants.

I KNOW you already got it but YABU!

Just have him catch you up.

If he wants to go then that´s it, really, isn´t it?

I´m not close to Aunts/Uncles & probably wouldn´t bother.