To think nursery worker should not tell my daughter not to suck her thumb?

[chaosisawayoflife]

Genuine aibu.
Dd is 3 and is a big thumb sucker. She has been since age was in the womb and it gives her a lot of comfort. I have never told her not to or tried to discourage her.
I picked her up from nursery today and she said 'I'm not allowed to suck my thumb, am i?'. I asked why she said that and she told me that one of the nursery workers had told her off for sucking her thumb.
Now, I would understand it was interfering with her trying to say or do anything but it never does. She only really sucks it when she is having a quiet few minutes or if she is nervous, tired or concentrating on a story or something.
I'm a bit cross about this as her thumb is her security, her comfort and an instinctive, reflex action but I genuinely don't know if aibu to feel this way and whether I should say something.

My DS2 is a thumb sucker, he's already weaned to sleep times only on his own at 2.5yo.

I resent the its disgusting blah blah comments, and those who seem to think its a simple habit to break .

Anyway OP I agree with the sensible posters who have advised you find out in what context it was said before taking further action.

Isn't 3 old enough to be knocking this on the head? It's pretty grim

I sucked my thumb till at least 12 (in private by then [smile) and have never had a single problem with my teeth

it doesn't mean you WILL, it means you might

Depends on the context. I was pissed off when a stand-in nursery teacher told DS (3yo) off for putting his fingers in mouth. We'd just entered the room and DS was hanging back shyly, clearly quite flummoxed as to the loss of his regular teacher.

Just thought it was a horrid way to greet a timid child.

She has to stop sucking it at some time. Why not age 3?

yabu Someone needs to encourage her to stop even if you wont. Its unhygenic and incredibly bad for her teeth and jaws.
My 4 year old is a thumbsucker and its really hard to try and get her to stop. I wish i had given her a dummy instead as i was able to wean my son off that a lot easier than a thumb. My daughter is already showing signs of damge from thumbsucking

www.google.co.uk/search?rlz=1C1CHFX_en-gbGB474GB474&sugexp=chrome,mod%3D13&q=thumbsuckers+teeth&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=QbTHT86aD4LJhAeIusWSCw&biw=1366&bih=653&sei=RLTHT4eaHO2S0QXipqCFDw

Gross grim disgusting horrible unpleasant unsociable can't bear to look at it urgh awful.

on an adult maybe.

Strong and offensive words to use to describe a small child.

Not helpful or constructive just plain nasty imo.

There really are some unpleasant people around.

yeah lets all give them dummies because its easier to whip it away when ever you're ready

lets not worry about children comforting themselves....

thumb sucking is pretty repulsive and can lead to horrid teeth/jaw problems so yabu. THe nursery are doing her a favour.

Why does she have to stop when she's not ready to though?

I've never been ready to stop, clearly, but I learnt pretty early not to suck my thumb when I was out of the house.

I definitely didn't do it at school, and I'd be surprised if I did it lots in the the nursery/preschool class.

OP, if you're not too bothered by it just help her to find other comforts at nursery, or other coping mechanisms that don't freak other grown ups out so much.

I used a lot of those words to describe the habit, not a small child for goodness sake. YOu must be able to see the difference?

I love my ds totally and think he's wonderful. Of course. But seeing him permanently with his thumb in his mouth I found grim. Seeing him put his dirty muddy, sandy, playing outside thumb in his mouth, double grim. Seeing the ensuing poorly tummy, which he got frequently (quite possibly a total coincidence, yuk) Him reaching out for me with a slobbery wet thumb, yuk. The skin peeling from his thumb cos is was permanently wet, and then him deliberately peeling great strips off and dropping them on the floor, yuk.

His class mates were quite justifiably also grossed out by him and his wet slobbery hands.

I think small children need to be able to comfort themselves, of course, but often thumb sucking is just a habit, often not conscious, and does need to stop.

I love my son dearly, and really don't see it as being a terrible or nasty thing to say I found as a parent thumb sucking to be a horrible habit, and why.

Dd was a thumb sucker at nursery and they used to tell her that she shouldn't suck her thumb until nap time. They also used to take dummies off children on the way through the door and only return them when it was nap time or if the child was upset for any reason.

The children were fine with this arrangement but the parents seemed to fret.

I think they just get used to different rules at different places and it's a part of growing up.

Floggingmolly sorry, I meant that nursery were on my side and used to remind DS to not suck his thumb but school aren't as up to speed with his. He's totally knackered the shape of his baby teeth so the clock is ticking to make sure he can stop before his adult teeth come through.

I really wish he had had a dummy but he didn't like them. I can't throw his thumb away!

I've reread my post and it sounds more shirty than I intended.

I think YANBU to be cross that she thinks she's been told off by her nursery workers.

It is definitely a bad habit, and it causes lots of dental problems. But I think it should be dealt with supportively by her family, not by being 'told off' (or however she interpreted what was said) by someone else.

YANBU. ds started thumb sucking at 9 weeks and is still going strong at 2.9. I have had a very long conversation with the family dentist about it and he has advised that it will cause no damage unless he is still sucking when his adult teeth come in. I see no reason at the moment to start nagging him to stop, he finds it a comfort and I don't see it as anymore unhygienic than kids who carry about stinking, scruffy, filthy, blankets/teddies that get washed once a week if they are lucky.

Regardless of the potential damage/hygiene/aesthetics/personal views of the pros/cons of thumb sucking, the fact is that nursery should be following your lead on this, in the same way that they would follow your lead on dropping naps/potty training etc. If they feel it's time to stop, they should be discussing it with you before they embark on Operation Anti Thumb Sucking. I would go nuts at ds's nursery if they took it upon themselves to take the lead on it.

I think you need to know about more about the context, but unless the nursery worker actually told your DD off (and I suspect she didn't), I think YABU.

As others have already pointed out, it's a bad habit for children to get into. What you may not have realised is that while you have no trouble understanding her when she's talking and sucking, others may well have. Parents have a knack for understanding their own children's mumblings well before the general public do.

I'm not sure I'd approach the nursery about this at all on balance, you could well find they have done you a favour, as ongoing this is not a comfort thing you want to perpetuate.

My ds teeth have been affected by this thumb sucking and he stopped before his adult ones came in. Just to warn.

Maybe it really was just a throw away comment said cos the child was in the middle of something messy, or the staff member didn't want slobbery hand or something rather than a telling off. Would a nursery actually tell off a little kiddie for thumb sucking? Doubt it's a full on anti thumb sucki g attack either. I guess the only thing you can do is ask what happened and then speak about your wishes from here.

My 4 year old DD is a thumbsucker too and I'm desperate to get her to stop. The dentist says her teeth are already being pushed out of place. DD understands and seems to want to stop but it is habitual. If anyone knows any way of getting a child to stop I'd be grateful :(

I've often asked the children in my nursery to hold hands in a circle for a game only to the hand in my hand is slippery with fresh warm dribble. There is a thread on here complaining about the amount of bugs picked up at nursery. Children are unhygienic. They need regular Ciffing, or to be told to wash their hands before and after they put them in their mouth. And not to lick each other's tongues (Happened), or kiss people on the bum crack (Happened), lick toilet paper (Yup, Happened), or eat Marmite (Gross, but still Happened).

They are at nursery, they have physical contact all day, at ds's nursery they all sit on the same tables to eat, presumably dropping food on the table and picking it up again where other kids have dropped food and picked it up again. They cook and eat pretend food, stick paintbrushes in their mouths, push and shove each other, ds has even been scratched a couple of times - they generally behave like 3 yr olds, so germs will be spread wether or not there are thumb suckers.

My 3 year old dgs sucks his thumb-we all try to remind him not to and I know his mum would be glad if nursery teacher did the same.It may look cute at 3 but will be a hard habit to break-at least you can bin a dummy.