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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take our kids on hol in term-time

461 replies

zozzle · 25/05/2012 09:49

We are taking our kids out of primary school to go abroad in term-time (end of June) and have been surprised at the slightly shocked/negative reactions I have had from other friends (mums in the playground). DCs are 4 (Reception) and 8 (yr 3).

My friends seem to tow the line more than me though, and admit they don't like breaking the rules. Breaking the rules has never bothered me though if I think the rules are unreasonable!

It will be the first time we will have been abroad as a family since DC were born and it's also partly to celebrate my 40th. We have holiday'd in the Uk for the last 8 years and fancied a change this year.

We can't afford to go abroad in the school holidays and the possible £100 fine we will incur from taking the kids out of school (although DC 2 is only 4 and doesn't legally have to be in school yet - so fine will prob only be applied to DC1) will still make the hol much cheaper than going in the school holidays.

Won't the hol be an educational experience in itself for the DCs? Wouldn't do it in SATs years or exam years. It is a v. middle class school with quietly pushy parents.

I just don't get what the big deal is!

OP posts:
echt · 25/05/2012 12:10

Cross-posted on toe the line. Australia gap is my excuse.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 12:12

I'm really very easy going and not up tight at all - I just don't break the rules.

I want my children to be brought up with a work ethic and I treat them going to school as if it was going to work.

The situation is, if I would go to work, they go to school. If the rules of my work were that I had to take holidays outside term time, then those are the rules that apply to my kids.

If you ask permission and the head says yes, then it's not an issue as you have permission.

If you ask, the head says no, and you're getting fined for it, then you shouldn't be doing it.

I've never asked. I would never take my kids out of school for a holiday. That's obviously just me though. Confused

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 12:14

My kids have missed school for - illness, hospital appointment, funeral (twice in the whole 21 years so each child only missed 1 day hard to explain) and events done through school where they are representing the school (like sports, music that type of thing).

That's it.

I must be very odd Grin

insanityscratching · 25/05/2012 12:18

I think leQueen has said what I'd say. That an authorised holiday in term time isn't going to set your child up to be failures in the longterm and possible truants as teens.
I've taken all my children out for holidays in term time and don't feel bad about it at all in fact we are going again the week after half term. Family circumstances dictate that we don't go high season ( have a child with severe autism and need specific accommodation) and each and every Headteacher has recognised this and authorised without exception.

NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 12:20

er... a funeral is NOT a hard to explain absence....

NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 12:21

Actually if it was a very close member of the family, I think it would have been OK for the dcs not to go school for a few days.
You know the days off you get from work when a close relative dies....

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 12:22

No, but it was two funerals, 14 years apart, so each child only went to one since neither of the two younger children were born when the first one took place.

Well, actually, all the children went to the 2nd funeral but DS isn't at school so I didn't have to ask permission

Does that make more sense? Grin

iwantbrie · 25/05/2012 12:26

I don't break the rules either, my kids have to have proof of illness in writing in triplicate before they can stay off Grin and if the HT had said 'no' we would have booked the holiday for another time.
There's nothing wrong with teaching children to have a good work ethic, that's what we do in this house, being a little flexible every now & then Isn't going to harm their future prospects. As a one off I really don't see an issue, doing it every year is a pisstake though.
FWIW we're not having a holiday this year at all due to new baby, new house, bloody prices being hiked everywhere thanks to the olympics & jubillee.. Sad

LeQueen · 25/05/2012 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iwantbrie · 25/05/2012 12:28

X posted insanity
When i mentioned 'pisstake' I didn't take situations like yours in account, sorry Blush

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 12:31

But they go to the dentist if they have to go Confused I take them to doctor/hospital appointments.

If they need to go to the hospital I take them.

And I very definitely don't subject them to stress and hassle - I don't see the correlation between "you go to school unless you're sick" and how that means my kids are missing out on "stuff"?

NanAstley · 25/05/2012 12:31

Slavish obedience to rules is neither commendable nor desirable. In a progressive society, some slight bending of the rules can often lead to good things. Would we have Darwin's theory if he had not questioned the rules that were supposedly set in stone?

Laws, on the other hand, must not be broken under any circumstances.

A sensible person recognises the difference.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 12:32

But the law says that once you have enrolled your child in a school you have to send them except in exceptional circumstances, if I remember the Education Act correctly?

insanityscratching · 25/05/2012 12:34

iwantbrie don't worry about it, I only mentioned my circumstances to point out that some people really do have no choice.Before ds we went in school holidays obviously.

echt · 25/05/2012 12:38

Just been having a think.

Only ONE of the many children who have been taken out for holidays from my classes in a number of schools hasn't been an underachiever/in need of special help/lazy/chancer.

Only that ONE completed and handed back the work their parents had requested.

peanutbutter38 · 25/05/2012 12:39

Have a lovely holiday. It wont have any negative effect on their schooling whatsoever. I've done this myself and didn't waste a second worrying about it. Education is not only done in the classroom.

LeQueen · 25/05/2012 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeQueen · 25/05/2012 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 12:54

Well, I'd still like it explained to me how sending my kids to school and NOT taking them out on a holiday which isn't authorised by the HT (as the OP is doing) makes me the one who is subjecting my kids to stress and hassle and making them miss out on "stuff"?

What about the stress and hassle and missing out of the kids who are away from school for 2 weeks and have to catch up when they come back?

I cannot believe that because I don't break the rules I'm the one being portrayed as being in the wrong and "disingenuous".

lollilou · 25/05/2012 13:05

We took our dc's out for a week last year. It was for our honeymoon. We couldn't have afforded to do it in the holidays but we did think long and hard about it. The ages made it easier, dd 11 and ds 8, I wouldn't have done it if they had been any older.
We had permission for ds but not for dd (I think the school mislaid the letter). We didn't have any negative comments about doing it and it was the best holiday we ever had.

sugarice · 25/05/2012 13:05

We always took ours out for a week during term time while they were still in Primary because it was cheaper,. We sought permission from the Head,filled the form out and no problem. Children can have 10 days authorised absences per school year can't they or has that changed recently?
Zozzle have a lovely holiday. I'm sure the school absence won't affect their education in the long term Wink

Noqontrol · 25/05/2012 13:05

I break the rules, I just don't break the education one because to me that's more important than a fortnight in the sun. But then again a fortnight in the sun was never very important to me anyway, so it's where your priority lies I guess.

Interesting point about days off of school and truanting. My mum took me out of junior school regularly, and in secondary school I was always truanting. Got expelled for It in the end. Wonder if there's a correlation there Grin Anyway, because I had to work so hard to get back what I lost after leaving school, I don't want my Dc to be in the same boat. So school all the way for us apart from emergencies and illness. And holidays in the uk during holiday time. I'm obviously so anal Smile

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 13:06

Noqontrol - you and me both then Grin

Noqontrol · 25/05/2012 13:07

GrinGrinGrin wouldn't have it any other way Wink

4goingon14 · 25/05/2012 13:16

YANBU - I really don't get the hangups about taking your kids out of school for a week or two to go on holiday. I am from another country and have lived in several (Canada, USA, Germany, Australia, Thailand) and this is the only country where there seems to be an issue and people get het up over it. Actually in Canada and the USA the teacher would send work along with your child if they were missing anything of importance.

Of course taking your child to school is important but life is about more than school. Children are learning all the time and school is not the be all and end all of the learning experience. My child learns alot when away on holiday. Actually that is where she started to learn to swim, identify wildlife and flora and fauna.

Local government needs to concentrate on more important issues and spend already tapped resource money elsewhere rather than chasing down responsible parents that are giving their children another opportunity.