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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take our kids on hol in term-time

461 replies

zozzle · 25/05/2012 09:49

We are taking our kids out of primary school to go abroad in term-time (end of June) and have been surprised at the slightly shocked/negative reactions I have had from other friends (mums in the playground). DCs are 4 (Reception) and 8 (yr 3).

My friends seem to tow the line more than me though, and admit they don't like breaking the rules. Breaking the rules has never bothered me though if I think the rules are unreasonable!

It will be the first time we will have been abroad as a family since DC were born and it's also partly to celebrate my 40th. We have holiday'd in the Uk for the last 8 years and fancied a change this year.

We can't afford to go abroad in the school holidays and the possible £100 fine we will incur from taking the kids out of school (although DC 2 is only 4 and doesn't legally have to be in school yet - so fine will prob only be applied to DC1) will still make the hol much cheaper than going in the school holidays.

Won't the hol be an educational experience in itself for the DCs? Wouldn't do it in SATs years or exam years. It is a v. middle class school with quietly pushy parents.

I just don't get what the big deal is!

OP posts:

5madthings · 25/05/2012 13:32

we are in the same postion as bogeyface in that dp just cannot get time off in school holidays (not always but often) so in sept we are taking the boys out of school, they will be 13, 10, 7 and 4, we have applied for the time off and the circumstances of dps job means it is authorised, it was the other year when we did the same thing.

you are allowed to ask for time off, 10 days over the year in total, never taken that many but have asked for 5 days for a holiday and the other year we went to the cornburry music festival and they ahd 2 or 3 days off, again applied for and allowed.
i
it seems to depend on the school, ht are allowed to authorise absences and ours does depending on the circumstances.

and as for changing jobs etc, given todays job market and the economic climate that simply isnt an option for many people.

my dp works wkends (only gets one off a month) and evenings etc so family time is limited and as such we ask for and have been granted time off school, thankfully we have a ht who realises its actually important for our children to spend some time with their dad!

skeggy81 · 25/05/2012 13:36

I would also dispute that taking your child out of school will make them think school is important. I look dd out of school for a week in year 1 for a special family holiday with siblings grandparents etc.
Two years down the line dh wanted to take heer out for a day to enable use to have a long weekend. DD refused to do it. She wanted to be at school.

skeggy81 · 25/05/2012 13:36

sorry isn't important

Babylon1 · 25/05/2012 13:38

I've posted a lot on this subject, but to clarify - fine is £50 per parent per child to be paid within 28 days or doubles to £100 per parent per child, payable inside 42 days if risk a court summons. It does happen, a lot. I know, I spent 10+ years issuing the fines.

LemarchandsBox · 25/05/2012 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annunziata · 25/05/2012 13:43

I just don't understand the idea of taking them out for a holiday and then getting work for them to do- it's a holiday, you're supposed to eat, go to new places, play on beach, go on a boat, whatever. Do you really all take your kids to hot sunny places and then expect them to do work?

4goingon14 · 25/05/2012 13:48

Not all holidays are in hot sunny places!! Both DH and I are expats and come from opposite sides of the world so alot of our holidays are heading home to see family.

People take many different types of holidays. So yes if there is some sort of important school work, it can be easily integrated. There are often ways of using your environment.

i.e. DC must do book report. Get DC to read a book related in some way to the destination you are going to. Reading books on holiday is something we all do in my family.

This is just an example of course but there are many, many ways you can integrate.

Annunziata · 25/05/2012 13:52

Thankfully DH and I's parents come from beautiful sunny places

We all read too- eg, went to see Roman ruins, the DC got books and things independently. I mean people who ask for worksheets etc.

BigBoobiedBertha · 25/05/2012 13:53

My DSs schools are not authorising any holidays at all unless there are exceptional circumstances (illness, bereavement, military postings etc). Fancying a cheap holiday in the sun doesn't count. The HT is turning them down in droves at the moment and all of them want to have a personal meeting about why they should be allowed to have a holiday abroad, just because. Total waste of the HT time

I don't get why people want to take their children out of school. Holidays aren't a right you are being deprived of by the horrible schools making your children go every day. Education is a right and a legal requirement. Holidays are that is nice to have, but not essential and yes, I have had to do without holidays before because we can't afford it. I mention that as there is always somebody who says that those who argue for education over fun have never had to go without a holiday.

I think it is made worse for me that the whole reason for having a holiday abroad is because the weather might be nicer. Hardly an educational experience is it? That is quite aside from the fact that very few places in the world have guaranteed weather!

The other lame excuse is having family time together. If you are all off the same week you can still have a family time at home. Are you less of a family because you stay at home than if you are lying around on sun loungers? It doesn't matter where you spend time together or whether it is raining - it is what you do that counts.

In case you haven't guessed YA definitely BU.

5madthings · 25/05/2012 13:58

well we arent going abroad, cant afford to, we are going to devon and yes it is for family time, we could stay at home but the point is we want to go somewhere to relax and see new things and enjoy time together as a family doing those things. dp cant get the time off in school holidays, so we are going in term time, authorised by the school as parents having issues with leave from work is one of the reasons that you are allowed to request time off (tho the school can ask for proof from your employer)

its not about a week in the sun or saving money (the the money is an added bonus) its about the fact atht dp works long hours, including wkends and evenings and doesnt get time to see the children so the chance to spend time together as a family is important.

oopsi · 25/05/2012 14:02

YANBU do it!!

We are a family of 6 and it costs literally thousands more to go abroad in schools hols.We usually go camping or in a static caravan in teh school hols and then abroad in term time.We haven't done it since the eldest started in Y11 because he has been concerned about missing lessons but prior to this? Meh!

Asamumnonsense · 25/05/2012 14:03

I feel you should do what is right for your family and do not bother asking advice here on this. I see some very unreasonable comments. My family lives abroad and I have taken out my daughter 3 days this year to travel to France for family events. I wouldn't miss these family celebrations and the HM understood that and authorised the leaves. She isn't at home watching TV, she is speaking French whilst abroad and we feel part of a family again and 3 days out of school isn't going to damage anything. My daughter is doing well at school and like you I classify these breaks as educational. As long as the HM is ok with it.

Annunziata · 25/05/2012 14:03

But 5madthings, if your DH could get the time off in the summer would you go then? You and the lady up thread have a valid reason. Those who just want it cheaper don't.

MaryPoppinsBag · 25/05/2012 14:05

YANBU

Enjoy!

nothingoldcanstay · 25/05/2012 14:06

YANBU Enjoy yourself.

In primary school truancy is only really the fault of the parents and that impacts on children when they decide themselves to bunk off in years 10 and 11. The bill is aimed at parents who haven't valued education themselves and are liable to send the message that school is an option through persistent non attendance .

That is nothing like a once a year holiday booked in advance by a parent who is otherwise very on the ball . Hence schools are allowed to authorise time off for religious/cutural reasons. Can't be that wrong can it.

5madthings · 25/05/2012 14:18

umm not sure tbh, my dad was RAF and we routinely had time off during the school term and it certainly didnt affect our education :)

if i had a good reason, then i would still think about it, you are allowed to ask for authorised time off and if the circumstances were right then i woudl do so and i know plenty of people that do.

elastamum · 25/05/2012 14:27

I routinely take my 11 year old out of school for the afternoon for 1:1 coaching in his sport, he is competing national standard and it is a sport the school dont do. The head (independant school) is fully supportive and my son always keeps up with his work, he is an academic scholar as well.

I think childhood is about more than just lessons, my father was an academic and we would routinely leave school to travel as soon as his term ended. Never did us any harm at all.

BigBoobiedBertha · 25/05/2012 14:31

Asamumnonsense - your situation isn't the same as the OP's at all. You are going to family events which are exceptional reasons for time off - you can't do that any other time and it is 3 odd days.

The OP just wants a cheap holiday in the sun. Not the same thing at all.

When these sort of threads come up and people say it doesn't do them any harm to miss time off school, I always think about DS2 who hates going back to school after missing a couple of days off sick because he feels left out and left behind. I hate to think how much worse he would feel if it were a whole week for a holiday.

HipHopOpotomus · 25/05/2012 14:32

The world will end if you do this - it will!!!
And everyone will hate you silently.

You will be ripped to shreds on MN.
And your children's education, and therefore lives will be ruined forever if they take a whole week off school!!!
There is no value at all in spending a week together as a family in the sun - it only counts if it is cold and you are getting wet.
How could you??

BTW I would!

Rockpool · 25/05/2012 14:33

YANBU,go and enjoy.Soon doing what you're planning will be the only way the vast maj will ever be able to do going abroad. Going abroad shouldn't just be for the rich.

BigBoobiedBertha · 25/05/2012 14:39

There's no additional value in spending a week together in the sun as opposed to at home or somewhere colder no!

Original poster

zozzle · 25/05/2012 15:00

I know! What an awful parent I am. I must be ruining my kids lives forever!

OP posts:

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 15:02

Do you think the Head said no just to piss you off?

Or do you think they have a job to do?

Do you normally encourage your children to disobey a person in authority and do you think this is an appropriate message to send your children?

valiumredhead · 25/05/2012 15:03

Dh cannot take any time of over the holidays due to his work ( thanks to the olympics) so we'll be going in term time probably in September. Not done it before but that;s the only way we will be able to do it this year. On this occasion a family holiday is more important than school.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 15:04

Valium - I'm genuinely interested. Why is a family holiday more important than school?

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