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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take our kids on hol in term-time

461 replies

zozzle · 25/05/2012 09:49

We are taking our kids out of primary school to go abroad in term-time (end of June) and have been surprised at the slightly shocked/negative reactions I have had from other friends (mums in the playground). DCs are 4 (Reception) and 8 (yr 3).

My friends seem to tow the line more than me though, and admit they don't like breaking the rules. Breaking the rules has never bothered me though if I think the rules are unreasonable!

It will be the first time we will have been abroad as a family since DC were born and it's also partly to celebrate my 40th. We have holiday'd in the Uk for the last 8 years and fancied a change this year.

We can't afford to go abroad in the school holidays and the possible £100 fine we will incur from taking the kids out of school (although DC 2 is only 4 and doesn't legally have to be in school yet - so fine will prob only be applied to DC1) will still make the hol much cheaper than going in the school holidays.

Won't the hol be an educational experience in itself for the DCs? Wouldn't do it in SATs years or exam years. It is a v. middle class school with quietly pushy parents.

I just don't get what the big deal is!

OP posts:
NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 11:53

fuckarama, actually I take my dcs out of school for one week each year.
I do not 'break' any other rules. I am not keeping my dcs at home for a cold. They read everyday with me, do their homework....

But due to our circumstances, I believe it is better for them to have a week off, especially as they count at most 2 days of absence in the year for illness.

Having discussed the issue with the HT, I actually think she also agrees with me.

bogeyface · 25/05/2012 11:53

Speaking for myself, I am not "flouting rules". If the time off is agreed by the school then there is no rule flouting going on, so I dont see your point.

LeQueen · 25/05/2012 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 11:54

If you have a job that means you can't take your holidays when your kids are off school then you do something else. Or find another job. Or home school your kids.

I must be terribly law-abiding that I wouldn't take my kids out of school for a holiday and that they have to be on their knees before they get a day off sick Confused

I think it sends the children the wrong message. That school isn't essential, that you don't have to go if you don't feel like it or if you've something less boring to do.

I don't understand why me saying that makes me angry, I'm not angry. I just obey the rules and don't understand why you wouldn't.

MelodyPondering · 25/05/2012 11:57

Gosh Fuckarama you sound slightly pissed off....not sure why.

But just to piss you off some more, my 12 and 8 yr old dc's are off to France for a family celebration with my parents, they will miss the last week of school...and I didn't even think twice about it. Shock

BelieveInPink · 25/05/2012 11:57

That's the point though. It's not a rule in our school.

If it was "against the rules" to have time off during term time I would not take time off. However the two days I had off last year were approved and not against any rule or policy.

It's a moo point really because as a general rule I wouldn't do it anyway.

LeQueen · 25/05/2012 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MelodyPondering · 25/05/2012 12:00

Believe, sorry but a moo point did make me laugh! Grin

NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 12:00

fuckarama, taking a child out of school for a week isn't being a bad aprent who doesn't look after their dcs. It's not teaching them 'bad' things I don't think if you don't do that on a regular basis (ie the poster before whose mum was taking her out of school regularly).

I can see that if you really can't stand breaking rules, it could be an issue. but in all honesty, do you never break any rule at all?

Original poster
zozzle · 25/05/2012 12:01

Sorry "toe the line" for those of you anal and pedantic enough to point out my error! Ha ha.

DCs have a good attendance record and the suggestion that I'm ruining their prospects but taking them out of school for a week is laughable.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me though.

OP posts:
fuckarama · 25/05/2012 12:01

I really honestly try never ever to break any rules.

Am I that weird? Confused

LtEveDallas · 25/05/2012 12:01

Fuckarama - Or you ask and gain permission from the school - thereby not breaking any rules.

(and finding another job is not always that easy, or the right thing to do for your children)

Original poster
zozzle · 25/05/2012 12:01

I have also never taken them out of school for a hol before.

OP posts:
iwantbrie · 25/05/2012 12:02

rama surely though the majority of people who take their children out of school on holiday DO get permission though? If you have the explicit permission of thr HT to remove your child for a week (which all thats allowed in most schools I think) how is that flouting rules? (genuine question btw, not picking a fight with you)
As a matter of fact my DS plays a particular sport at district level which involves him coming out of school early 4 times this term. He has the HT's permission for that too, it's a bit different though as it reflects well on the school and AFAIK ofsted look for extra things like that.

NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 12:02

I would have more issue with a parent who keeps her child at home with the odd sniffles tbh.
That would be more damaging. Happens more often and it certainly doesn't teach them to get on with things. A agreed week off during term time is different surely.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 12:03

I have never asked to take my children out of school for a holiday.

My eldest is 21.

I took and continue to take the view that as a responsible parent, it is my duty to send them to school every day that they are physically capable of being there.

Surely I can't be the only one who does this?

BelieveInPink · 25/05/2012 12:04

MelodyPondering - I'm taking on my Joey from Friends persona today. :o

fuckarama I really honestly try never ever to break any rules either. Taking my kids out of school for two days didn't break any rules.

BelieveInPink · 25/05/2012 12:05

Sorry, I meant to quote.

NanAstley · 25/05/2012 12:06

People seem to be missing the point that no rule is being broken if the absence has been agreed with the head.

Also, not everyone has pool holidays. That is my idea of hell. Our holidays involve a lot of sightseeing, learning about the history of the place, visiting churches and studying its architecture, eating local food etc etc etc

DD is only 5 and the issue has not come up yet, but I don't see it as the end of the world.

LeQueen · 25/05/2012 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NanAstley · 25/05/2012 12:06

several x-posts. Blush

NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 12:07

Interestingly, my mum as a teacher has always said that, for primary school children they would learn more with a week hols during term time than that time in school.
Probably the same premiss that parents who home schooled have? That children learn more from seeing things and getting interested than learning from what is being spoon fed from them.

LtEveDallas · 25/05/2012 12:08

In general terms, no, I would not take my child out of school during term time. But there are occasions that fall 'outside the norm' and I would not hesitate to take her then.

I would endeavour to get the permission of the HT, but, if he said no, and I was still of the opinion that my reasons (whatever there were) were reasonable, then I would take her in any case.

In all other areas of my life I am squeaky clean, I do not break any laws.

echt · 25/05/2012 12:08

OP - that would be "toe the line".

You seem to like some rules and not others. Hope you bear this in mind when your DCs' schools apply theirs. You don't explain why the holiday will be an educational experience.

Original poster
zozzle · 25/05/2012 12:08

Fuckarama - some people hate breaking rules and others are happy to when they feel they can justify it. I fall into the latter category, you fall into the former, that's fine. We're all different.

I haven't really been brought up to conform so quite often don't. I got that from my Dad and I think it's a good quality, although many may disagree!

OP posts: