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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take our kids on hol in term-time

461 replies

zozzle · 25/05/2012 09:49

We are taking our kids out of primary school to go abroad in term-time (end of June) and have been surprised at the slightly shocked/negative reactions I have had from other friends (mums in the playground). DCs are 4 (Reception) and 8 (yr 3).

My friends seem to tow the line more than me though, and admit they don't like breaking the rules. Breaking the rules has never bothered me though if I think the rules are unreasonable!

It will be the first time we will have been abroad as a family since DC were born and it's also partly to celebrate my 40th. We have holiday'd in the Uk for the last 8 years and fancied a change this year.

We can't afford to go abroad in the school holidays and the possible £100 fine we will incur from taking the kids out of school (although DC 2 is only 4 and doesn't legally have to be in school yet - so fine will prob only be applied to DC1) will still make the hol much cheaper than going in the school holidays.

Won't the hol be an educational experience in itself for the DCs? Wouldn't do it in SATs years or exam years. It is a v. middle class school with quietly pushy parents.

I just don't get what the big deal is!

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 25/05/2012 23:52

Thats ok , maybe you need a holiday?

raffle · 25/05/2012 23:53

Boring anecdote from a Grad done well: I was 'taken' out of school ALL THE TIME...seriously, it only needed to be Wimbledon, or The Royal Norfolk Show, and I was whipped out Grin

Been all over we have!

Did me the world of good and gave me experiences the other kids did not get, I would not hesitate to do the same with DS.

Oh, and I would not be asking 'permission', fuck that.

(realises has a lot to learn about the school system, sits back, kicks off slippers and looks forward to the attempts to curb me!)

Noqontrol · 25/05/2012 23:53

Grin yes I think I probably do!!

Blondilocks · 25/05/2012 23:59

I totally agree with fuckarama to be honest. You're not the only one in this position.

Where are you going on holiday? It could be argued that a trip to the supermarket /shops is educational with the 10% off sale, 2 for 1 of 3 for the price of 2 argument but should we take kids of school as it's easier to go shopping with them during the day or whatever?

You can have an equally enjoyable family holiday in the UK or a staycation for less money. TBH my daughter loved 5* all inclusive Egypt (yes in the peak of summer holidays) but I think she would've been equally happy with a trip to the swimming pool every day for a week - a lot cheaper & less need for the constant application of suncream but not so agreeable for the grown ups perhaps!

usualsuspect · 26/05/2012 00:01

Its easier to go shopping when they are at school tbh

trixymalixy · 26/05/2012 00:02

You really left yourself open to that one theusualsuspect!! Noqontrol, if you hadn't said it someone else would!!

usualsuspect · 26/05/2012 00:03

What you on about?

usualsuspect · 26/05/2012 00:04

Theres some weird folk about on MN

LadyBeagleEyes · 26/05/2012 00:08

Yeh, UsualSad
That's why everybody's leaving.

Blondilocks · 26/05/2012 00:12

I meant you could use the same argument to take them out of school to go shopping.

Yes definitely easier to go without them but I do know people who have taken their kids of school for a day's shopping!

Hopandaskip · 26/05/2012 01:44

"Big fat LOL at the holiday boasting

Wow, you have money to burn on long-haul holidays.

That doesn't make seeing an elk any more educational than seeing a badger. Or going to seven states more valuable in terms of family time than going to seven counties."

Big fat LOL at the assumptions.

I live in California. It was a road trip.

I actually took this trip in the holidays, I was just pointing out the wealth of stuff you can see on a trip and how taking family trips doesn't mean you are twiddling your thumbs sitting around a pool and ruining your child's education.

madmomma · 26/05/2012 07:38

I'm gonna take my kids on a 6 week termtime trip to Magaluf, + ban books, pens and questions.

ibizagirl · 26/05/2012 08:24

OP. Just go. In primary school its not much of a bother. High school is a no-no.Sort of. I tried it last year. Filled in holiday form for the last week in July. No school work that week just activities. Was told yes we can go (this was previous September). In March had a letter to say dd couldn't have time off because it was term time and i was threatened with jail and/or a £1000 fine. So we went in August and it was awful. At least five children took the same week off in July as we wanted and guess what? Nothing was said at all. What a surprise. I asked school what would happen to those children or parents and they said nothing would happen because they cant actually stop them. It is just a deterrent apparently. Best wishes.

Hairytoe · 26/05/2012 08:58

For those that think it's ok to break this rule is it ok for everyone to break it or just you? And if everyone starts taking their children out for a week or two ( probably in the Summer Term as after all we still want to get the weather/ holiday season ) how would the class teachers plan for that term's work?

In reality most people would be looking at June/july so 8 weeks. So in a class of 30 if everyone took a 2 week holiday there would be 7 or 8 kids off at any time.

In primary school classes they are usually grouped according to ability so it some children left in the class may have the rest of their group missing and no one to work with.

Are people here saying that this kind if disruption is irrelevant and the teacher will just need to put extra effort in to cope with it? Surely it would mean effective teaching basically stopped at the end of May?

Please note I am talking about the effect on the class as a whole not just the effect on your child as a result if their short holiday.

Hairytoe · 26/05/2012 09:00

What I mean is yes if you take your kids out for a week or two it's not going to be detrimental to your children at all.

And if a few people do it the school won't be too badly affected.

But what if it's deemed ok and everyone does it?

Hairytoe · 26/05/2012 09:02

If I drop one crisp packet in the park it's no big deal it's hardly wrecking the environment is it for gods sake relax a little stop getting your knickers in a twist I didn't have any pockets there was no bin it's not a big deal ...

But if all 59 people who visit the park that day do it...

narmada · 26/05/2012 09:20

Dropping crisp packets creates mess, shows a basic lack of consideration for others, threatens wildlife and spoils the environment. Taking children out of school for a week does not create problems of the same magnitude.

If a primary school teacher cannot cope with having a few children absent from class then that doesn't say much about them as teachers IMO.

I see the point about making additional work - that's fair enough but all this stuff about 'I have to come into school so why shouldn't you?' is absolute nonsense. Teachers are not coming into school from the goodness of their own hearts, they are there to work and get paid.

narmada · 26/05/2012 09:23

I think it is highly unlikely that all children from a class would be taken out in hairytoe.

The fact is that some schools DO allow parents to take children out on holidays. Presumably this is a considered decision on their part. And some schools manage this, have good staff morale AND manage to get good Ofsteds. How do they do it if it's all so difficult?!?!

narmada · 26/05/2012 09:24

Taken out in hairytoe?! I mean taken out in termtime in one year.

KenNEddieKennedy · 26/05/2012 09:29

You worry about your children, I'll worry about mine. People aren't divs and one holiday in term time does not an irresponsible parent make.

Hairytoe · 26/05/2012 09:31

But if everyone did it it wouldn't just be a few children absent occasionally would it?

And have any of you been in a classroom recently? The teacher doesn't just stand at the front waffling on about today's subject. Each lesson is carefully planned taking account of each child's or group of children's needs and how best to fill in the gaps in their knowledge and consolidate their learning.

What I don't get is how on other threads the Mumsnet massive are raging about how their child's needs aren't met in the classroom ( low ability, average ability, high ability). Most teachers work really hard to focus teaching and learning on individual children so yes if several children are regularly missing it can and will disrupt both their learning and that of others not to mention making the teacher's job much harder.

Hopefullyrecovering · 26/05/2012 09:32

"People aren't divs"

Not all people, no. But the evidence is that there are plenty of people who are. Lots and lots actually. The prisons are full of them. There might even be a div or three on this thread. You have to work out whether I'm a div or you are.

KenNEddieKennedy · 26/05/2012 10:26

Well, okay then.

I think you have to realise that the majority are just normal (whatever normal means) everyday people just getting by in life. They do not do it to pee teachers off, they just want a little bit if time with the family as cheaply as possible. It's not always ideal, it might not 'fit in' but really, there's give and take on both sides. (respec' to all teachers, btw. Though I'm sure you'll probably think not!)

I 100% dont care about anyone else's opinion on this, however in PC that may be, sorry!

ilovesooty · 26/05/2012 10:31

I think if the parents have work commitments that preclude taking family holidays outside the term a request should be viewed sympathetically (with proof provided).

I don't think wanting to take a cheaper holiday is sufficient reason for pupils not to be in school and until the fines and penalties are significantly increased some parents will continue to flout the regulations.

Even if parents take their pupils out of school I cannot imagine why they would take them in September just as the new academic year is starting.

Hopandaskip · 26/05/2012 15:41

My kid missed 8 weeks one year (when he was 13). It was not a holiday and it was with the full encouragement of the school and his teachers. Somehow we all managed and now at 16 he is not a teen dropout. I think some of the assumptions on this thread are insane.