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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take our kids on hol in term-time

461 replies

zozzle · 25/05/2012 09:49

We are taking our kids out of primary school to go abroad in term-time (end of June) and have been surprised at the slightly shocked/negative reactions I have had from other friends (mums in the playground). DCs are 4 (Reception) and 8 (yr 3).

My friends seem to tow the line more than me though, and admit they don't like breaking the rules. Breaking the rules has never bothered me though if I think the rules are unreasonable!

It will be the first time we will have been abroad as a family since DC were born and it's also partly to celebrate my 40th. We have holiday'd in the Uk for the last 8 years and fancied a change this year.

We can't afford to go abroad in the school holidays and the possible £100 fine we will incur from taking the kids out of school (although DC 2 is only 4 and doesn't legally have to be in school yet - so fine will prob only be applied to DC1) will still make the hol much cheaper than going in the school holidays.

Won't the hol be an educational experience in itself for the DCs? Wouldn't do it in SATs years or exam years. It is a v. middle class school with quietly pushy parents.

I just don't get what the big deal is!

OP posts:
bogeyface · 25/05/2012 11:37

Well yes I do know, given that I have just spelt them out to you Hmm

My point is that people in our situation have no choice but to take time out of term time if we are ever to have family time, never mind going away, but family time at home.

so I will continue to do it and will not consider "thems the breaks" to be a reason not to.

NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 11:38

in my experience the reaction you wil get is very variable from one school to the next.
I know one school where they have put 2 PD days after next half term so that parents can take the dcs on hols in terms time. That way the children only miss 3 days out of school instead of 5. That week about half of the class is usually missing. Reason is simple, the area is (relatively) deprived. Parents can afford to take dcs on hols but not during the main holidays as it is too expensive. So it's very much about damage control.

In another school very middle class people, parents regularly take the dcs off school to go skying etc... no one would bat an eyelid if you are taking time off school during term time.

Personally, I thik that at that age, they will still benefit more from going on hols than being at school IF they haven't being ill regularly during the school year ie haven't missed a lot already.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 11:38

I was under the impression that arranging schooling of some type for your children was a legal obligation, and that once you'd agreed to send them into the education system, you had an obligation to send them every day.

I could be wrong.

I'll go and check.

So it should be one rule for teachers who have to take holidays when they're told and another for people like Bogey's DP who aren't teachers?

Why?

MrsNouveauRichards · 25/05/2012 11:39

Where my nieces go to school it is very common for kids to be taken out for holidays. This somehow justifies it to my sister because "everyone else does it"

It is like anything, if you want something you find ways to justify it

Personally I wouldn't, I don't think my kids need a holiday more than they need their education.

LadyBeagleEyes · 25/05/2012 11:39

I did it a few times with ds. He's 16 now, and is Dux of the school (Scottish thing, that means he was the top pupil).
I think the whole learning the culture thing is a bit bollocks, but I do think you'll find you get flamed for it on MN, I have no problem taking kids out for a few days termtime.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 11:39

Bogey - so your DP works every evening and every weekend and is never ever at home when your kids are off? And is never ever allowed a holiday at Christmas?

You could challenge such a restrictive employment contract under the ECHR - right to a family life, it's article 8

bogeyface · 25/05/2012 11:41

Yes he works every weekend and has a day off (should be 2 but they are shortstaffed) in the week. His commute means he is rarely back before bedtime.

He get Xmas day off.

bogeyface · 25/05/2012 11:42

that is, Xmas day and Boxing day OR Xmas day and New years day, not both.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 11:43

Like I said, you could challenge such a restrictive employment contract under article 8 of the ECHR - right to family life.

Really he should have Bank Holidays off or time off in lieu - you should consult an employment lawyer as from what you say he isn't receiving his legal entitlement.

NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 11:43

WorraLiberty
^I love the way people try to argue that a term time holiday can be educational.

Errrr yes...so can the same holiday in non term time.^

Except for people who can NOT afford the cost of a holiday during the school hols. Then they have any hols at all and miss on the input that they could get from that.
It's not an issue of 'I want to save some money' it's an issue of 'It's either that or nothing.

BTW, at our school we still have the 'holidays forms', at the discretion of the HT.
We have some children whose family is in India. They take 2 weeks before christmas to go back to their home country for a month. Everyone think it's normal.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 11:45

But if you can't afford the difference, you just save up for longer.

Why is that so difficult?

I don't get it.

And no child is going to die for lack of 2 weeks in Torremolinos. It's not going to harm them not to be away in the sun for a fortnight.

LeQueen · 25/05/2012 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iwantbrie · 25/05/2012 11:47

We took our 2out for 3 days just after halloween to go to Disneyland Paris without a problem. I wnt straight to the Head to ask her personally and asked if the DC's needed to take work with them (while praying she said no!).
She was fine about it, just asked for them to do a diary of the trip for her. They did it & brought back a little gift for her & their teachers.
It's not a common thing to do round here but it happens. If the childrens attendance is generally good then it doesn't seem to be a problem.
YANBU to do it, YABU to be shocked by other peoples reactions though.

bogeyface · 25/05/2012 11:47

He is getting what he is entitled to, infact he actually has a generous holiday allowance, far more than the legal minimum. He just cant take it during local school holidays, and that means we cant go away or have days out etc without taking the kids out of school.

NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 11:48

I think the whole learning the culture thing is a bit bollocks,

but surely it depends of what you are doing?
Going to spend the day on a beach, not going out of your resort for a week. Perhaps not that educative.
Going see family abroad, live with them for a week, do and eat different things, hear a different language. Or doing a lot of educational sightseeing is a different matter.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 11:49

Bogey - well then, that's the downside of his job. Presumably he knew this when he took the job / you had kids / whichever came first?

I'm interested. Those of you who take your kids out without permission to go on holiday in term time, what other school rules do you allow your children to flout? And what do you think of kids who bunk off school?

NotSureICanCarryOn · 25/05/2012 11:50

LQ they did one thing though. They seen with their own eyes a different scenery. They have seen different architecture. They also have tried different foods and have experience having people who don't speak english in front of them.
For primary school children that's a lot already.

bogeyface · 25/05/2012 11:51

We dont do beach/hotel/resort holidays so my children learn alot about the local culture. When last in France we shopped daily in the market, ate out, visited art galleries and museums, and the kids learnt the most amazing swear words in French :o

We had one day on the beach, well a morning because we all got bored!

LeQueen · 25/05/2012 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 11:52

Notsure - but they would have done those things regardless of the time of the holiday, term time or not wouldn't have made a difference?

WorraLiberty · 25/05/2012 11:52

Notsure

I don't know why people even know how much holidays are during term time

What's the point in looking at the price of something you can't have?

Why not just go on a cheaper holiday or spend longer saving for it?

fuckarama · 25/05/2012 11:52

I'm not angry.

I'm just confused as to how people who flout one rule square it with expecting other rules to be obeyed.

bogeyface · 25/05/2012 11:53

I was wondering that LeQ!

raindropsinmyhair · 25/05/2012 11:53

I know former/supply teachers who happily take their children out of school for a holiday- I admit to being slightly surprised but I haven't been in the position of having to make that choice myself as my children are only 1.

How much of a difference financially does it usually make? I recently looked at a short break in this country and noticed the difference between August and late September was around £500- not sure if this is the norm

LadyBeagleEyes · 25/05/2012 11:53

Quite LeQueen.
This subject does seem to raise a lot of passion.
I hate to repeat a cliche but it never did ds any harm.

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