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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send my son to school?

105 replies

morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 08:47

Ds (6) was sick in the night at about 2am. He had been fine all day, woke up at 1.30 said he felt sick and then was sick half an hour later. He had a drink and went back to bed.

I fully expected him to be ill when we got up today and was expecting to keep him home. When he woke up he was fine. No sign of illness (didn't feel sick, normal temp etc) and was hungry. Ate a normal breakfast washed dressed and played etc as normal.

So I have sent him to school as he doesn't seem unwell. If it was a stomach bug he would have been sick more than once surely and or have diarrhea and feel ill? He had a busy evening yesterday- swimming, various medical appts(not due to illness) and homework.

So aibu? Should I have kept him home anyway?

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 22/05/2012 10:03

Well in that case it might be helpful to have the circumstances made clear! Smile

I hope your son is ok.

TroublesomeEx · 22/05/2012 10:06

But just to add, the reason you get strong reactions is because, as others have said, some people aren't as healthy generally as others.

My dad has terminal cancer and he's very weak and frail. A sickness bug would finish him off frankly. We know he's not got long anyway, but I would consider it very selfish if he contracted a sickness bug from a child who had been sent to school after being sick in the night.

The rules are there for a reason.

Original poster
morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 10:12

I am determined to keep home from school if he is not well. I am determined to send him to school if he is well.

At gp surgery now.....

OP posts:
startail · 22/05/2012 10:12

Personally I say absolutely nothing I strongly suspect it's just coughing or stress. I throw up if I'm nervous.

99% of the time any child who eats breakfast is fine.

PandaNot · 22/05/2012 10:16

My DS has asthma and a night time cough which make him vomit occasionally. School know this and he's allowed to go to school the next day but if I didn't know this was the cause I would absolutely keep him off.

Pooka · 22/05/2012 10:19

YABU

But glad your dh didn't take him in.

There's a vomiting bug doing rounds ATM. You don't have to be vomiting continuously to have a bug. Some kids will, some kids won't. Mine tend never to be sick more than once when they have a bug. I still abide by the 48 hr rule to try and stop it spreading.

landofsoapandglory · 22/05/2012 10:20

I don't see how the GP can say if it is definitely a bug or not without taking samples. IMVHO you should still keep him at home for today at least, it really isn't fair to expose others to a potential bug for all the reasons previously stated!

YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 22/05/2012 10:22

You didn't know the cause of the vomiting before you sent him to school, that's why people are reacting to what you say.

There may be another medical condition you have experienced with your dc which means he is able to go to school, however I believe you said this had only happened once before?(apologise if that's wrong and I read it incorrectly)

Therefore neither you,nor the school can possibly say what caused this.

I personally am fed up beyond belief of people who continually send their child to school with a sickness bug, who then proceed to pass it on to not only my dc in the class but my other 2 children and I don't understand what is so flaming difficult to keep them at home if they were vomiting the night before

Pooka · 22/05/2012 10:30

Really - "99% of time" a kid is fine if they eat breakfast.

Love to know where you get that stat! Grin

The point is also that they may be fine and not be about to throw up again. But they may also still be contagious and pass the bug on to more children. Who they pass it on to their families.

clam · 22/05/2012 10:40

And 99% of the time, it's the thrown-up breakfast that we school staff have to clear up!
Just sayin'

Original poster
morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 10:45

I have no problem in people sharing opinion. Just sometimes I wonder if people forget that sometimes its not as simple or clear cut as black and white. There are many shades of grey!

It happened before, but over a year ago. He would be sick in the night (only in the night) and only once. This happened a few times but with a few weeks/ month or so in between instances. Samples taken in past all clear.

Like I have said, I would always keep him home if ill, but he seems fine.

Gp said as far as he can tell he seems fine. Looked at previous notes and said if it starts becoming regular occurance as before I should bring Ds along 1st thing if I am unsure whether he should attend school or not. Gp also said he will refer him for further investigations if this happens more frequently again.(although not sure what?)

Gp happy for him to go to school. Have just spoken to the school and they said he can come in today (Im said I am happy to keep him home).

Dh said when he spoke to Ds' teacher this morning, Ds' teacher said she would have sent her own dd into school in similar circs.

The school said they will expect him in at lunch time.

OP posts:
landofsoapandglory · 22/05/2012 10:50

" GP said as far as he can tell he looks fine"

So he doesn't actually know, yet you are still going to send him in at lunch time? That is so,so selfish. You could potentially make someone very, very ill!Angry

IHeartOldYork · 22/05/2012 10:51

I hope your son is feeling better now but it is quite
selfish to send child into school when they have been ill. Other children could catch what he has got/ had. You also need to think about the staff at the school too. As a teacher I was always very annoyed when a child had mentioned they were sick the night before but had been brought into school, particularly when I was pregnant.

MoaningMinnieRisesAgain · 22/05/2012 10:56

You are still BU regardless of the GP. Schools exclude for 48 hrs after any vomiting or diarrhoea for a good reason. Because it is very often contagious.

He could be fine. Or he could vomit the rest of today and start with diarrhoea, there is no way to know.

I would not send him back until Thursday even if no more vomiting, and if my child caught it off him I would be very cross with you and invite you to come round and do all my vomitty laundry.

Shinyshoes1 · 22/05/2012 10:56

I think you are getting a bit of a hard time here OP , however I do think Ywbu. You should have kept him off even for a day, my ds's school has a very strict policy and won't let children through the door if they are aware they've been sick even though they look fine.

Hope he is doing better now Smile

DontHaveAtv · 22/05/2012 10:56

I would keep him off it it was my son.
Our school is 24 hours after a child is sick if they are over 5 and 48 hours if they are under 5.
My kids have been sick just the once before but have still passed the bug onto my other children who were sick more than once. It might be a bug and then again it might not. Better to be safe than sorry.
I hate it when parents send their children in too soon after a bug as it means the rest of us end up getting it.

Original poster
morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 11:17

BTW. He has not been sick since last night, not had diarrhea, has eaten some snacks and is out playing on his bike. I have changed my mind and will keep him home. It's lovely weather so he can have a day playing out instead of school. However that seems unreasonable now as gp and school both say he should go in.

OP posts:
Original poster
morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 11:25

Just spoke to school they were a bit Hmm tbh. They said they didn't understand why I would keep him home if we all think he's well enough. Asked me to arrange a meet up with his teacher to discuss my concerns! Confused

OP posts:
MoaningMinnieRisesAgain · 22/05/2012 11:26

Of course it is not unreasonable to keep him home Hmm

Schools rightly exclude for 48 hours, what's unreasonable about that?

YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 22/05/2012 11:27

I'm so glad my DCs do not attend your school

Our school will send children home if they find out they have vomited the night before.

If parents did the right thing and kept to the exclusion policy, they would not have to.

It seems very odd to me that a school would disregard this.

And I've got to say, you seem to be changing your mind all over the place-he went to school, came home, you told the school he would be in at lunchtime, now you are going to keep him at home??

spiderlight · 22/05/2012 11:29

The last time my DS brought home a stomach bug from school, he and DH felt rough for a weekend; I was in bed for four weeks, then in hospital for another two, needed eight days of IV rehydration and two blood transfusions and narrowly escaped an ileostomy. I get a little bit peeved at people who disregard 48-hour exclusion rules. Bugs are inevitable and a risk that we all have to live with, but there are things people can do that can dramatically reduce the likelihood of them spreading.

TroublesomeEx · 22/05/2012 11:30

I'm not surprised the school are being Hmm. All this to-ing and fro-ing and now keeping him at home so he can play on his bike in the sun.

Rosa · 22/05/2012 11:32

DD 1 vomited once at midnight was fine the next day I kept her at home for 24 hrs. 48 hrs later DD2 started vomiting and kept on and on and on for the next 4 days... You never can tell but in this case the 2 were obviously linked as DD2 had been in contact with me, dh and dd1 as the weather had been so crap we were at home most of the time.
Oh and in DD1 class the virus hit in various strengths... YOu never can tell better to be safe than sorry IMO....

Pandemoniaa · 22/05/2012 11:35

When someone drip feeds information it makes a nonsense out of the original question. You've got to realise that not everyone is psychic, OP.

Now if there is a medical reason for these unexplained one-off vomitting episodes then it may be reasonable to treat them differently to a d & v bug. But then what happens when he does get a d & v bug and passes it round to everyone? So while the 48 hour rule might frustrate you, it exists for a reason. As many have pointed out already.

But then why post anything in AIBU if all you want is approval?

AvocadoAndFitch · 22/05/2012 11:40

Wow OP, I'm glad we don't attend your school. What with them supporting you in sending in a child who has been sick/ potentially infectious child in and breaking the standard rule for 48 hours post sickness. He may not be showing the full extent of the bug yet.

Are you not concerned your DC isn't picking use all these one off sickness bugs from the school with such slack sickness rules?

If my DD was in your class being in close contact with your son, even for registration, you would have just put her at risk of:

5/7 day hospital stay in isolation. Meaning I wouldn't be able to care for my two other children.

Her dropping the weight we have struggled to put on her for the last six months.

Her having her feeding tube back.

You may not be aware of children in his class with such illness but what about at play time? Or other pupils siblings/relatives?

Is it worth it? He has the work to do at home, is he really gaining much from attending today?

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