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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send my son to school?

105 replies

morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 08:47

Ds (6) was sick in the night at about 2am. He had been fine all day, woke up at 1.30 said he felt sick and then was sick half an hour later. He had a drink and went back to bed.

I fully expected him to be ill when we got up today and was expecting to keep him home. When he woke up he was fine. No sign of illness (didn't feel sick, normal temp etc) and was hungry. Ate a normal breakfast washed dressed and played etc as normal.

So I have sent him to school as he doesn't seem unwell. If it was a stomach bug he would have been sick more than once surely and or have diarrhea and feel ill? He had a busy evening yesterday- swimming, various medical appts(not due to illness) and homework.

So aibu? Should I have kept him home anyway?

OP posts:
YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 22/05/2012 09:08

The school would not have said that to you, there's an exclusion policy, they can't say "oh don't worry, send him anyway" that is absurd.

Olympia2012 · 22/05/2012 09:09

So school have made an exception.... Just for you?Hmm

TroublesomeEx · 22/05/2012 09:10

OP I can completely understand the frustration.

My DD had a couple of days off school for sickness a few weeks ago. She had two bouts of sickness and one of diarrhoea between 3am and 6am and then nothing. I kept her off because those are the rules. She was absolutely fine - she played out in the garden, ate a huge lunch, was really bored, did a bit of singing and dancing and then, just as I was thinking grr that 48hr rule (and I'm a teacher so I know why it's there!), she threw up everywhere.

As others have said, a sickness bug wouldn't affect me too badly, DS usually escapes them and DD was ok. My dad would be seriously ill if he caught it and anyone else who is immunosuppressed/compromised or has any serious condition could be seriously affected by this.

Yes, it's inconvenient and seems a 'joke' when your child is 'fine' and you know what the schools reaction would have been if you'd asked to keep them off that day, blah blah, but that rule really is there for a very good reason.

If you're not a doctor and haven't got test results, you must follow the rules. That's all.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/05/2012 09:10

I don't believe the school would have said that it was ok for a child to come in a few hours after an unexplained bout of sickness. And if they did, they are failing to safeguard the other children who they also have a duty of care to.

It's especially selfish considering your son is only 6, and not doing the tests the older children are doing at this time of year.

ScooseLooseAbootThisHoose · 22/05/2012 09:11

I think it is irresponsible to send him into school when you can't be certain if it's a bug.

TroublesomeEx · 22/05/2012 09:12

I've just read your last post, OP.

If it's true that your DS has a situation that means he is sometimes sick without being ill and the GP has confirmed this and the school are happy for this in your son's case....

Why on earth have you started a thread on here about it? Hmm

cocoachannel · 22/05/2012 09:16

I don't get it either Folkgirl Confused

Especially if just being defensive when told YABU!

Original poster
morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 09:17

They are home. Dh changed his mind and brought him home... complete with work from school to do.

No the school did not make an exception just for me! Why would they do that? I guess the school just understand Ds' situation.

I started this thread to gauge opinion. Glad I did. Thank you.

We have made another gp appt for later. If they say its ok he will go back to school tomorrow.

OP posts:
YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 22/05/2012 09:19

More likely the school sent him home

clam · 22/05/2012 09:20
Hmm
spammertime · 22/05/2012 09:23

When I'm not on maternity leave, I work part time and I have never once sent children to nursery if they have been sick in the past 48 hours (well ok, once I think we'd only got to 47 but it was close enough). That's because I know just how contagious these things are, and how you're not just going to inconvenience one family with one child by sending an ill child in, you're potentially inconveniencing several family members of several families. Some of whom could be much more than just "inconvenienced". But if you've never had a nightmare of a time rearranging things because you have no family nearby, and suddenly have to tell work that actually no, you can't see that client because your children are ill, then I don't suppose you give a crap about other people.

I'm not saying that I don't expect or for that matter WANT to be with my children when they're ill. But when it's because of someone else's selfishness it drives me mad.

Olympia2012 · 22/05/2012 09:25

Sent work home too.... That was all arranged and gone quickly! And already home! Wow!

TroublesomeEx · 22/05/2012 09:27

No the school did not make an exception just for me! Why would they do that?

Well because you implied that the rules didn't apply to you, both in word (on here) and deed (in taking him to school).

Because Last time we checked with the school before sending him in. They said it was fine as he had seen gp and were aware of the problems he experiences. which is not what anyone else would have been told, you know, because of the 48hr rule.

Because Dh has taken him and has checked with school. They said he can come in and will keep an eye on him. which contravenes the 48hr rule.

Oh and because I guess the school just understand Ds' situation. which sort of implies a special case.

I always understood that one child in one of my classes would be late because of the specifics of his mum's disability. That didn't mean everyone else could be late, just that he would be. You know, we understood the situation, and made an exception to the rule just for them... Hmm

Nothing you have said makes sense and comes across as a bit idiotic.

StuntGirl · 22/05/2012 09:27

If he seemed fine I'd have sent him in tbh.

letseatgrandma · 22/05/2012 09:27

Sent work home too.... That was all arranged and gone quickly! And already home! Wow!

Amazingly fast work wasn't it!?

Original poster
morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 09:28

No he went into registration and Dh stayed to discuss another matter. He decided to bring him home, just in case.

I was sort of hoping to find out how other people in this situation cope. We were worried when it happened before that he would miss a lot if school. He was checked for coeliac disease amongst other the things to see if that was the cause.

So if gp says he's ok and school say he's ok should I still keep him home? Hmm

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 22/05/2012 09:30

Well your husband seems to think so!

I'd leave the important decisions to him from now on.

Original poster
morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 09:32

Yes, a big write activity sheet, spelling list and a reading book. Gosh, maybe Ds' teachers actually lesson plan, or is that unlikely as well?

Folk girl. Who are you to say I'm idiotic? Offensive and unnecessary.

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 22/05/2012 09:36

Has he been to the gp today though? No!

nightswimmer · 22/05/2012 09:36

Why are people so unecessarily aggressive so early in the morning? All this woman wanted was to talk over a situation that didn't sit easy with her. For Pete's sake keep things in perspective!

ScooseLooseAbootThisHoose · 22/05/2012 09:44

The op asked if she was being unreasonable nightswimmer and was told she is

TroublesomeEx · 22/05/2012 09:52

I didn't say you were idiotic. I said it came across as a bit idiotic. Because, to be fair, it does. Asking us why the school would make an exception for you when you implied yourself that they had done!

Why on earth would you start a thread like this?

If there are possible causes for his sickness that aren't linked to a D&V bug and the school and GP are happy for him to attend after an isolated bout of sickness, why ask? That is a decision between you, the GP and the school.

Especially when it's sort of drip fed in several posts down that he's been tested for Coeliac disease. Which suggests that an isolated bout of D&V might not be an issue.

But given that the school sent him home anyway (or your DH made a sensible decision after discussing it with them which amounts to the same thing) it's a moot point.

Original poster
morecoffeemorecoffee · 22/05/2012 09:59

I said he there had been no diarrhea.

Like I said I started the thread to see what other people have done in similar circumstances.

I have apologised for drip feeding. I forget that not everyone knows the one and outs of things here.

The school were happy to have him. Dh changed his mind. Have now got an earlier gp appt. If they are happy he will return to school after lunch.

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 22/05/2012 10:01

Determined to get him to school aren't you!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/05/2012 10:02

Unless the doctor can confirm its not a bug, which is impossible without taking samples and doing tests, then yes, I would still keep him home.

Nightswimmer, People do have it in perspective, it just may be a different perspective. There are many many of us with family members who have underlying medical conditions that could be severely affected by a tummy bug, causing a lot more than a couple of days of school. When you have to live with that worry over things that others have the luxury of thinking nothing of, it does provoke strong reactions.

I work in a school, if a child in my class was sick it's likely that I would have to help clear it up. That would mean there's a chance I could take it home to my diabetic dh, who would then have his glucose levels messed up, and would have a much harder time getting rid of it than I might.

If that happened out of nowhere, as sometimes it des with children, then fair enough. But if a child was sent into school after being sick and then it happened, then there would have been warning. If a family has that warning and then puts others at risk because of their own convenience, then of course it is selfish and unreasonable.