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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that £150+ for a prom dress is ridiculous?

149 replies

mosschops30 · 20/05/2012 15:13

Its dds 16th birthday in June.

She wanted an overnight spa break in a top hotel which was £220 (£110 for her, but she couldnt go alone so same for me).
She also wants spending money for her trip to the canaries with my mum, so thats £150.
We will prob buy her some clothes (£50 ish) and go out for a meal.

But on top of that i also have to pay £25 prom ticket and a prom dress. The ones she likes are in Coast and are £170-£180 Shock. she thinks IABU to not buy it in a flash, she cant see why she cant just have it. Because of course at that age all you want is to look good and be just like your friends.

We have just cancelled next years Florida trip cos we deffo cant afford it.
I think i just went for a meal with my parents on my 16th!

Ive seen a nice dress on ASOS for £65, but shes a bit sulky about it

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 20/05/2012 21:17

also her BIRTHDAY and PROM are 2 diffrent things.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 20/05/2012 21:35

Oh fgs, lets clear up here

We have not cancelled holiday so dd can have dress, holiday would ave been approx £6k and we were hoping some money would come through which hasnt yet so we decided to cancel.
When i asked dd what she wanted for her 16th she said she wanted a spa break
Dd is not 'unhappy' shes a normal moody/sulky teenager, somedays she hates me and cant wait to leave, other days she is my best friend gigglng on the sofa
The school were unhappy with the general response from families last year as lots did not contribute. I have no idea where my money went, and as times are tighter i want to pay £10 instead if £15 (another thread for those wondering)
Lastly WE HAVE FOUND A DRESS FOR £50 SO EVERYONES A WINNER

OP posts:
YouOldSlag · 20/05/2012 21:50

Well Mosschops, at least you have taught her to shop around and save money by getting a great dress of ebay.

TheTeaPig · 20/05/2012 21:56

Why dont you post in style and beauty ? where can I find a prom dress for £50 etc then?
You list how much you have spent on your DD ,how unreasonable she is and sulky and then get the hump when we tell you that :

£220 on spa break
£150 holiday money
£50 clothes and meal out
and then wants £150 on Prom dress and still unhappy - is unreasonable for a 16 year old !

bogeyface · 20/05/2012 22:07

I understand that you havent cancelled so she can have her money, dress, spa etc. and its great that you found a dress for a third of the price...however....

its a bit of a smack in the chops to other members of the family that you have had to cancel the holiday but you can afford to spend £500 in one go on one member of the family. £500 a month in savings would pay for your holiday over 12 months...........just saying.

scuzy · 20/05/2012 22:07

how many other kids have you OP?

manicbmc · 20/05/2012 22:09

Good that you got the dress cheaper.

And in answer to your OP - yes 150+ on a dress is ridiculous.

And yes, teens can be sulky sods.

I still wouldn't spend over £200 on a spa break for a teen. But each to their own.

scuzy · 20/05/2012 22:09

then why did you post in AIBU if not prepared to take on board all opinions?

ilovesooty · 20/05/2012 22:12

It does sound as though a lot of money has been spent on her at the expense of the rest of the family.

scuzy · 20/05/2012 22:13

i agree ilovesooty.

footphobic · 20/05/2012 22:24

Maybe I phrased it a bit wrong in my previous post - I really didn't mean cutting down on your dd's b'day or prom would finance your holiday, of course..but if my dd asked for a spa break for her birthday I would feel it was extravagant for something not lasting, it might be nice, but I wouldn't feel it was the right way to spend that amount of money, when there is the whole family to think of..that's only my view... I really meant that appreciating the expense myself..5 dcs, we like nice things but don't always have the budget for them so often buy as new from Ebay to get what we want, e.g., brand new converse £8 etc and various other bargains couldn't tell from new, or Tesco clubcard for treats...we would give spending money but less than £150..they earn it if they want more, birthdays are quite modest..we economise generally so we can afford other luxuries which include everybody such as days out and meals etc over the year which are costly with a family of 7 and our holidays, though we usually go to France/Italy so less than £2k for a fab holiday. You may well still be planning a holiday anyway, just not a £6k one.

Aboutlastnight · 20/05/2012 22:28

I have three daughters aged 2, 5, and 7.

I am now fucking terrified. Spa break? At 16?

bogeyface · 20/05/2012 22:35

about s'fine, just repeat after me "I am sorry but thats too much. We have a budget of £X, so why dont you have a a think about what you would like for that amount?"

VoldemortsNipple · 20/05/2012 22:43

I think people need to stop slaging off OP. She has taken the advice given here and found a cheaper dress on eBay.

If her DDs birthday was in September, it wouldn't have been an issue as they are different events.

My DD also has prom and her 16th birthday coming up. She will get about 150 pound cash/present for her birthday. Her prom dress has cost 45.00 she still needs shoes and accessories which will be about 30.00 and if I can afford it, she will get hair and makeup and maybe even a spray tan.

Some girls in her school have paid 200+ for dresses but DD found a dress she liked and is happy.

She is far from spoilt but we do make a fuss at Christmas and birthdays as she gets little else through the year. Prom is a one off experience that I've budgeted for.

rhondajean · 20/05/2012 22:44

Wow it's Christmas all over again!

" I managed to send my dd to prom barefoot and in a dress I made from bacofoil, why would you even think of buying something nice?"

I exaggerate but you get my point!

skybluepearl · 20/05/2012 23:57

150 spending money in Florida!? Surely 100 of that could go towards the dress? And she could make up the rest with various jobs round the house.

skybluepearl · 20/05/2012 23:57

has she looked on ebay?

bogeyface · 21/05/2012 00:23

Sky the £150 is for the Canaries, if that makes any difference at all!

BackforGood · 21/05/2012 00:33

Interesting connection. I don't tend to look at posters names, and hadn't noticed the thread about the school donation was also started by a poster spending ridiculous amounts (for a normal household/family on a budget - of course nothing is ridiculous if you are terribly well off) on a 16 yr old's pampering. (Yes, I speak as the parent of a soon to be 16 yr old off to a prom at the end of June)

QuintessentialShadows · 21/05/2012 09:03

upahill - your ds will be in Norway for his 16th. erm, why?
What 16 year old wants to go to Norway for his 16th?

The midnight sun? Fjord cruises? Northern Lights Confused
Mountain climbing on Kvaløya? Cross country skiing beyond the Arctic?

Or to party in Oslo (possibly the most boring capital in Europe where the only exciting thing to happen is some D- list model paying a visit to a club, or a gang fight or a shooting) paying £10+ per drink and some £400 per night B&B?

I got a really nice blue glass lamp for my 16th birthday from my parents. It was SO NICE. It cost £25 at the time, and this was very expensive. It lit up my life and kept me happy for nearly 24 years, until it smashed on the floor when my boys were having a bit of a rough and tumble. Sad

upahill · 21/05/2012 09:13

upahill - your ds will be in Norway for his 16th. erm, why?
Because it is a trip that is arranged with Explorers and it just so happens to clash with his 16th
He is only landing and departing in Oslo, not partying!

The trip involves hiking and kayaking.

QuintessentialShadows · 21/05/2012 09:14

Oh, that is going to be fantastic! Good luck to him! Grin (That is exactly what Norway is great for..... )

quirrelquarrel · 21/05/2012 15:46

£150 for any item of clothing is a bit Shock
I know a girl who went to prom in a jumpsuit. She looked fab, as usual. Probably cost her about £30-40, which is a lot for just one night alone, but the thing is she can wear it again....
She's 16, why is she thinking about things costing £150, apart from like....irrigation plants in Oxfam?

aproudmummy · 22/04/2015 07:08

My dd1 dress was about 1,500 poundsConfused.... But it was an alexander mcqueen gown so it obviously was going to be expensive. I don't have a price limit for prom, some of the kids at her prom are going to have handmade gowns and designer ones too some are spending a couplr of thousand, I am going to hire a limo get her some marc jacob handbag and shoulder bag and tiffany's jewellery and some M.A.C makeup. I just need my personak stylist to come in and help.

aproudmummy · 22/04/2015 07:17

You can't judge if somebody's dd is spoilt!!She seems like a normal teenager. I was a spoilt child but I worked hard+am successful just because you're 'spoilt' does not mean you will 'fail' the real world!I admit I was extremely spoilt as were my 2 older brothers and sisters and many of my friends I went to boarding school with but we are not people who live off mummy and daddy. I work hard and long hours as a surgeon so my dd1&dd2&ds1 can be spoilt..

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