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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that £150+ for a prom dress is ridiculous?

149 replies

mosschops30 · 20/05/2012 15:13

Its dds 16th birthday in June.

She wanted an overnight spa break in a top hotel which was £220 (£110 for her, but she couldnt go alone so same for me).
She also wants spending money for her trip to the canaries with my mum, so thats £150.
We will prob buy her some clothes (£50 ish) and go out for a meal.

But on top of that i also have to pay £25 prom ticket and a prom dress. The ones she likes are in Coast and are £170-£180 . she thinks IABU to not buy it in a flash, she cant see why she cant just have it. Because of course at that age all you want is to look good and be just like your friends.

We have just cancelled next years Florida trip cos we deffo cant afford it.
I think i just went for a meal with my parents on my 16th!

Ive seen a nice dress on ASOS for £65, but shes a bit sulky about it

OP posts:

manicbmc · 20/05/2012 20:32

£110 is a load of money!

scuzy · 20/05/2012 20:35

whatever the budget is or what the OP does or doesnt spend the point is her dd is sulking and doesnt appreciate it.

Megatron · 20/05/2012 20:36

I got a horn of plenty necklace when I was 16. And we had a school dance.

upahill · 20/05/2012 20:37

Actually I don't think £150 is to bad tbh.
I am just getting DS Prom suit and he is going for a pewter coloured one.
so that is £140 from Next, then it will be the shoes, shirt and tie. So it will be over 200 quid on the prom.

TBH I can't wait for it. He is so excited and they have been planning it for ages.

I've seen photos of previous proms from DS' school and it looks really good fun.
They are having it at a place where I wanted to have my wedding reception but was so broke at the time!!

scuzy · 20/05/2012 20:37

i had a debs ... borrowed a dress from an aunt, did my own makeup and got a lift froma friends dad. i'm only 32!

upahill · 20/05/2012 20:38

I think you have got off lightly with you DDs 16th.
MY DS will be in Norway for his and it has cost over a grand so far.
He is paying for his spending money and has saved up £900 so far!!

Grannylipstick · 20/05/2012 20:39

Remember. We reap what we sow

BackforGood · 20/05/2012 20:44

The actual amount is totally relative to your own circumstances though - OP states they've cancelled their holiday as they can't afford to go. To me, that puts spending {what many of us judge to be large amounts and others consider small change} £150 on a dress, when she's just has a lot spent on her birthday, into a different position from posters who say "I don't think tha'ts a lot to spend" and are clearly better off financially than others.

McHappyPants2012 · 20/05/2012 20:44

My sister dress cost £80 with the alterations to fit her snug.

So that price makes my eyes water

goingmadinthecountry · 20/05/2012 20:44

I'd also worry about someone else turning up in the same dress if it was from Coast - apparently 2 people turned up in the same outfit to a prom round here last year.

I'd probably pay it if I thought she'd get wear out of it - so will prob pay more for dd1 who will be off to university (she's favouring Vivien of Holloway right now and will get loads of wear out of it). Dd2 has no idea what she wants but knows it will need to be different from everyone else's. Vintage trawl perhaps?

No fake tans round our way. They'd be laughed out of the prom.

scuzy · 20/05/2012 20:45

is the holiday a family holiday? so is the whole family losing out on a holiday cos madam wants her dress?

ilovesooty · 20/05/2012 20:45

Even given that the prom dress is sorted I'm at someone spending that much for a 16th birthday.

TheTeaPig · 20/05/2012 20:45

Agree with scuzy no matter what has been spent the DD is still unhappy and wants more
Before anyone accuses me of being a skinflint my DS is going on a schooltrip next week - cost £590 . The difference being he is really excited not sulking.
He knows that he will have a pretty modest birthday in June and is fine with having his mates over,pizza,DVD etc

Birdsgottafly · 20/05/2012 20:46

"£110 is a load of money"

Realistically what does it buy, these days that could be considered a 'treat'.

The OP's DD is sulking because she has seen a dress that she loves, but isn't allowed it. I and the other mums enjoyed seeing the girls go into the hall, enjoying what they looked like/were wearing, as much as they did.

There was one girl whose mum died this year, she cried all the way through the leaving ceremony. It's nice to have these times and memories together.

My DD's are always very proud for what i manage to do for them despite being an LP and having tough times.

scuzy · 20/05/2012 20:47

thats it Teapig i couldnt give a flyig fig what the cost is ... its the fact she doesnt appreciate it

landofsoapandglory · 20/05/2012 20:52

I'm glad you've got the dress sorted now, but if she changes her mind have a look at Sexyher.co.uk. They do lovely dresses at very reasonable prices and deliver quickly.

She is getting a lot for her birthday. Last year when DS1 went to his prom a lot of the girls got their dresses for their birthdays, but they got nothing else!

TheTeaPig · 20/05/2012 20:54

I know scuzy and the saddest thing is that this DD has lovely parents who are doing their best for her but by never setting a limit/budget she is unhappy.
Sorry Mosschops if we have upset you but you are not doing your DD any favours in the longterm.

bogeyface · 20/05/2012 20:54

I am a bit that she gets the dress AND the spa break AND the spending money for a holiday. As has been mentioned, she doesnt seem very happy, so throwing money at the problem doesnt seem to to be working!

And "Thats teenagers" isnt the case. Thats YOUR teenager and I think you need to ask yourself why. £500+ on one person (which it will be by the time you have paid for all the prom extras) is a silly amount of money, especially when you have just had to cancel your family holiday.

bogeyface · 20/05/2012 20:55

Is the Spa break her actual present btw or is it a treat for her birthday and she will get a "proper" present aswell?

manicbmc · 20/05/2012 21:01

What Bogey said.

Dd turns 18 this year. She wants a sewing machine (cheap one). I'm saving up to buy her a laptop as it's a big birthday (but that will be a joint Christmas and birthday present.

She went to prom last year and her dress was £25. I spent about £20 on accessories and the ticket was £5 - so £50. I think a couple of people turned up in limos but it wasn't the norm. She went on the bus with her mates and had a great time.

Throwing money at something does not guarantee happiness or a good time.

YouOldSlag · 20/05/2012 21:03

Agree with scuzy and bogeyface.

scuzy · 20/05/2012 21:07

hang on .... then you also post that you want to give less than the asked for voluntary contribution to the school as they said they were disappointed last time?? so the school didnt appreciate what they got?

sorry if this isnt mn etiquette but the irony is blinding!!!

footphobic · 20/05/2012 21:12

I've just spent some time with my daughter who is very petite, trying to find a junior prom dress, all the ones that fitted looked very young bridesmaid-y or too old or too big in ladies sizes, then we found one in Coast this one which fitted beautifully - she fell in love with it, but even though I thought it was lovely, I felt it was too expensive, she's got a twin brother, so I have to kit him out too....so I came home, set up a search on Ebay and within a week we had the exact one in 'as new' condition for a price I'm much happier with and I have a very happy daughter

For the rest of the gifts/cost, it's entirely up to you of course, it's your business how you spend your money on your daughter, 16 is a bit of a milestone, I think more is made of proms and 16th birthdays these days...I think a spa day is quite expensive, as she is already having a holiday I might have just done hair or nails, then you don't have to spend the extra to include yourself..(though you might very well enjoy/deserve a nice treat too). I'd be inclined to cut down a bit and maybe you might manage a nice holiday next year, even if it's not to Florida.

YouOldSlag · 20/05/2012 21:13

Throwing money at something does not guarantee happiness or a good time. true manic, and just sets them up for a big shock when or if they have to stand on their own two feet.

The big bad world is hard place to live in when you have a huge sense of entitlement and a finite wage packet.

scuzy · 20/05/2012 21:14

very pretty dress footphobic

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