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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that £150+ for a prom dress is ridiculous?

149 replies

mosschops30 · 20/05/2012 15:13

Its dds 16th birthday in June.

She wanted an overnight spa break in a top hotel which was £220 (£110 for her, but she couldnt go alone so same for me).
She also wants spending money for her trip to the canaries with my mum, so thats £150.
We will prob buy her some clothes (£50 ish) and go out for a meal.

But on top of that i also have to pay £25 prom ticket and a prom dress. The ones she likes are in Coast and are £170-£180 Shock. she thinks IABU to not buy it in a flash, she cant see why she cant just have it. Because of course at that age all you want is to look good and be just like your friends.

We have just cancelled next years Florida trip cos we deffo cant afford it.
I think i just went for a meal with my parents on my 16th!

Ive seen a nice dress on ASOS for £65, but shes a bit sulky about it

OP posts:
OldGreyWiffleTest · 20/05/2012 15:54

The other suggestion is that you lend her the money for the dress and she pays it back weekly once she's got a job. She'll learn that paying for months for something worn only once is not worth it! Valuable lesson learned.

YouOldSlag · 20/05/2012 15:59

I like OldGrey's idea about lending her the money, but OP I doubt you'll get it back and if you let her off, she's learnt nothing.

QuintessentialShadows · 20/05/2012 16:01

Well, 16 is a big deal, and it is lovely she wants a spa break with you. It seems a good deal, with meal and treatments. Enjoy!

The only problem then, is that her dress is going to be expensive. Can she buy a dress that will be suitable for use later? If she is invited for a wedding, coctail party, or anything where she will need a great classical dress?

My prom dress was so fashionable that it was impossible to wear it again....

Aribura · 20/05/2012 16:08

TK Maxx I got the most beautiful dress I've ever seen for about £35. I think it was designer but I don't really care about that.

lemmein · 20/05/2012 16:27

I bought my daughters prom dress from a chinese seller on ebay for 50 quid and it was stunningly beautiful!!!! I did worry a bit before it arrived incase it was cheap & nasty but it was gorgeous, everybody loved it. I sympathise though op, my dds are 16 & 14 and are VERY expensive!!

alphabite · 20/05/2012 16:30

I think she needs to learn that life is tough and that she won't get everything she wants. However is her prom the time to do it? It's a night she'll hopefully remember for all the right reasons for a long time to come.

As for the money. I certainly don't think you should pay for all the dress. When she gets her job she should pay you back for half of the dress.

alphabite · 20/05/2012 16:30

I agree check out ebay. I bought a gorgeous Monsoon dress from there. You could always go for a size 10 and take it in.

mixedberrymilkshake · 20/05/2012 16:33

I'm a bit annoyed that every seems to be referring to her being spoilt. I always had lovely expensive Christmas and birthday presents growing up- and I've turned out completely unspoilt, thank you. Also if her DD worked before exams and has an interview lined up after, I'll take a guess in saying she knows the value of earning money...

creighton · 20/05/2012 16:39

i didn't know that 16 was an important birthday. i thought 18 or 21 were important.

Cabrinha · 20/05/2012 16:41

It's a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a 16th, and what's the big deal about 16th anyway?
If you have the money and want to spend it, it's your business of course. But the fact you've started the thread and are cancelling holidays next year, suggests you can't.
eBay.
And £110 doesn't sound like that good a deal for the spa, tbh. Though I agree it's lovely she wants to go away with you.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 20/05/2012 17:00

mixedberry thank you and no shes not completely spoilt. She saved up her paper round money to pay for a school trip to barcelona, so she has done that before. And she is the only one in her group of friends who has had a job, which shocks me because when i was a teen we all had jobs.

Anyway thanks wise wonderful mnetters, we have found a new dress on ebay for £50 in the exact colour and style she wants Grin so happy mum and happy daughter

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 20/05/2012 17:17

That's great!!! well done!!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 20/05/2012 17:20

DS1 wanted a £180 suit for prom, I said can't afford that much, try this one (in Primark) it actually looked good and cost £40 he was 'ah but everyone will have a posh one and I will look cheap' took him to try on some posh ones and tbh they were not as nice, for some reason did not fit as well, sooo he agreed to get the cheap one. YAY! he is well chuffed with how he looks but won't tell anyone where he got it, said its a birthday pressie and he doesnt know where we got it. Grin

snowyowl70 · 20/05/2012 17:30

It's hard when your kids friends seem to have more than them but I am sure there will be lots of girls with dresses that have been bought on ebay or borrowed and who will know? My daughters prom is next month, is being held in school where the school cook does all the food (they choose menu) and they have fundraised all year to provide a great night with the room beautifully decorated etc and the tickets are £4!!!! My daughter is wearing a brand new dress from Monsoon that she was given at a "frock swop". Everyone brings a dress and then everyone can take a different one home - we did it at Church for a nice, girlie social event .

PoppyWearer · 20/05/2012 17:31

I was about to suggest eBay, have sold some of my own nice dresses on there v.cheap.

Hooray!

itdoesnthurttohavemanners · 20/05/2012 17:33

I've just paid £200 for my wedding dress.....

Sorry, but your daughter sounds a little bit spoilt [hmmm]....but I agree with a lot of the other posters, give her a budget and ask her to prioritise! Also, EBAY definitely for a dress!

startail · 20/05/2012 17:37

Result and no Blush when someone else has the same Coast dress.

(I have my fingers x that no one has the same, cheaper coast dress as DD1 for a wedding in the summer, DD2 is bridesmaid so I had to spoil her).

JesusWept · 20/05/2012 17:47

Brilliant!

YouOldSlag · 20/05/2012 18:06

That is a great result OP and I'm really pleased for you.

However, although you say your daughter isn't spoilt, I do kind of disagree a bit after reading this line in your OP (after a £220 spa break, a meal out, a £25 prom ticket and £50 of clothes for a holiday)

Ive seen a nice dress on ASOS for £65, but shes a bit sulky about it

Bit sulky? after all that? Hmm.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 20/05/2012 18:07

Thats teenage girls unfortunately Wink

OP posts:
YouOldSlag · 20/05/2012 18:09

Wow- wait till she wants to get married! Smile

manicbmc · 20/05/2012 18:11

Not my teenage girl. For her 18th she has asked for a cheap sewing machine.

MaisyMooCow · 20/05/2012 18:13

Why not try www.dressesonlinesale.co.uk.

They have lots of prom type dresses. You can always send them back if you don't like them.

NorbertDentressangle · 20/05/2012 18:15

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but apparently it doesn't stop at the dress. There is also:

the shoes
the bag
jewellery
fake tan
nails
hair
the transport there and back
.........and so on......