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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be sitting here sobbing because best friend just called to say she's pg

118 replies

emeraldgirl1 · 17/05/2012 13:11

... on the very same day I have found out I'm not.

I'm genuinely so SO happy for her, she's amazing and she deserves this so much.

but the timing is awful from my pov. am just sitting here sobbing and feeling guilty and shit.

OP posts:

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 17/05/2012 14:49

ChippingIn - thank you, you have really made me perk up. [getting stupidly tearful again now about the kindness of strangers]

headfairy - again, these are the kind of stories I really love. thanks for posting!!

OP posts:

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 17/05/2012 14:50

ChippingIn - one more thought re your post - I'm scaring my DH right now so I wouldn't be at all surprised if his sperm were taking fright too! Flee, boys, flee from the madwoman... :)

OP posts:

kerala · 17/05/2012 14:52

Took my sister 2 years when I got pregnant with dd2 I just couldn't bear to tell her. Then she called in hysterics saying she had a bfp so I could finally blurt out my good news. Our little DDS 3 months apart.

Hope not tmi but what finally worked for us was doing it every other day as I didn't ovulate mid month. Took us 9 months once we figured this out happened took 1 month with dd2. Good luck x

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 17/05/2012 14:55

thanks kerala. I do know sisters who've fallen out almost permanently over this type of thing, refusal to meet babies/attend weddings etc. Glad your happy events worked out!
Thing is I know my friend is desperate for me to get well and truly up the duff now so we can be heffalumps together

OP posts:

Spice17 · 17/05/2012 14:56

This also happened to me.

I did a test one Fri eve after doc told me to go home and do one, was negative, then literally half an hour later bro in law called to say sis in law was pregnant.

Didn't want DH to know I was seriously gutted, so I went upstairs and sobbed into a towel in the bathroom for about half an hour - HOWEVER!

I did a test 4 days later and I was in fact pregnant anyway, so you never know..........

Good luck with it and just think you and your BF could be having babies very close together, so that's nice.

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 17/05/2012 14:59

Oooh, Spice17, I loved your big reveal with your... HOWEVER!!!

Thx for encouraging post! Am mentally gathering all these nice stories up for next time...

OP posts:

headfairy · 17/05/2012 15:07

You're welcome emeraldgirl I never know if these stories help or not. Sometimes they can be even more frustrating. But I was 36, I'd been ttc for 18 months. DS was conceived after a drunken post Christmas party. I'd like to say the booze probably helped, but I had also had a proceedure the previous cycle (can't remember what it's called, when they inject radioactive dye in to your fallopian tubes to see if they're clear - they were, but sometimes just the process of injecting the dye can clear any minor blockage and help increase chances of conceiving)

Ilovedaintynuts · 17/05/2012 15:21

I moved house while being very despondent about not being pregnant.

I couldn't believe our good luck when we met our next-door neighbours, a young couple who were lovely, then she dropped the bombshell - she was 12 weeks pg, had just had the scan.

I cried for days, felt that was just too cruel to move in next-door and have to see her get bigger etc...

BUT, I was also 12 weeks pregnant but hadn't found out yet

Our babies were born 4 weeks apart. Her DS and my DD are still friends.

Sadly she has been unable to concieve again, I went on to have another DD a year later.

You just never know!

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 17/05/2012 15:27

daintynuts - you're right, you do never know.

Thanks so much everyone who has posted, felt totally at end of tether a couple of hours ago but feel much closer to middle of tether now! And some genuinely good advice too

OP posts:

farfallarocks · 17/05/2012 15:47

The height of my TTC madness was the pit in my stomach everytime the news mentioned the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. i would just brace myself for 'are expecting their first child' For some reason it really bothered me, of course it was always about then opening a chocolate factory in Wales, poor things.

Tangointhenight · 17/05/2012 15:48

I will second the ovulation sticks, decided to give em a whirl after 8 months of trying and hey presto worked first time.

I hope you get your BFP very soon Emerald, I know how the disappointment feels, even just seeing people with bumps or babies made me miserable.

iloveberries · 17/05/2012 15:53

carpet bomb the egg

best quote of the day

emerald - glad this thread has made you feel a lot better. Its also made me feel better as every couple of weeks i get a pregnancy announcement and am crushed for a while... Good, if that's the right word, to know others go through it.

I find it helps me to remember that whilst I desperately want to be pg i don't want their baby so am not jealous of them...just a little sad that it hasn't happened for me yet.

I also agree with the others who say the first 6 months of TTC is the hardest - you genuinely think it will happen every month! fucking shit when it doesn't :(

You will get there though.

jumpingjackhash · 17/05/2012 18:37

These stories are really good and show you shouldn't give up - and 'carpet bombing the egg' will be used in the Jumping household I can assure you!

shopping81 · 17/05/2012 18:49

Yanbu. TTc is horrible. It took me 2 years to conceive my 1st child. I can remember crying my eyes out in a cold caravan at Easter when my period came.
Found out after a year dh had a low sperm count and I was a similar age to you.
Our 2nd child only took 2 months to conceive so don't give up hope.

cherrypieplum · 17/05/2012 19:26

I couldn't read and not post. I'm in the opposite position- I fell pregnant by accident shortly after a friend miscarried. It's since happened again to her. She's the first thought I have at every step.

I used to find it hard enough when my friends would make announcements when we didn't feel in a position to be 'ready' so I can only imagine how hard it is.

I really hope things happen soon for her and you.

iloveberries · 20/05/2012 12:30

my last remaining one childed friend just called to say she's expecting number 2.

i got my period today - again

i am now sitting here sobbing. very loudly.

all my friends have fallen pregnant within 1-3 months of trying. i am happy for them but when will it be my turn?

i am feeling rather sorry for myself. and very self absorbed. Since this is mumsnet someone will probably tell me to pull myself together in a minute. Or maybe i'll go and find DH for a hug.

YANBU

eurochick · 20/05/2012 12:50

Berries when the last of my friends got duffed, I actually felt like a weight had lifted - I was no longer dreading the next announcement.

I hope it happens for you soon.

iloveberries · 21/05/2012 08:52

HI euro - that is a good way to look at it. Just hard as she lives round the corner so I'll be going through it all. And i feel bad cause I know she'll feel bad cause she knows I've had a bit of a rotten time of it. Just a crap situation. But we are close enough that I hope I can man up and be involved in her pregnancy. My 2nd AF since ectopic arrived today so i am officially allowed to try again so i guess that's something!

hope you're ok? Any progress with the IVF?

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