how can i help my daughter get over her aversion to open mouth chewers? (blatantly not an AIBU!)

[bejeezus]

7 yo dd has come home, more often than not recently, with her packed lunch barely nibbled. She complains that if she sits next to someone, who eats with their mouth open, it makes her feel sick and she cant eat her dinner!

Nobody likes it much do they, but what can you do? Ive told her to just look in the other direction, but she said once shes seen/heard it, her stomach is turned and she cant eat.

Shes inherited this bloody fussiness off her dad im gutsy and NOTHING puts me off my food

there is not much to her and her appetite is not good at the best of times. She really cant afford not to eat from breakfast until tea time.

Loads of kids eat with their mouth open; what can i do?

Get her to tell them she doesn't want to see what they've got in their mouths, uuurrrgh.

Have you considered aversion therapy? Eat a little with an open orifice every day and gradually increase the time spent masticating openly in front of her.

You're welcome!

Tell her to eat her lunch or there will be no telly when she gets home.

You're welcome!

you cant i have an aversion to chompers and open mouth chewers however she cant not eat her lunch ask her to sit at another table or eat her lunch quickly and go outside so she doesnt see them ,

cant not eat good gawd im sorry about that

Eat a little with an open orifice every day and gradually increase the time spent masticating openly in front of her.

Even those words make me feel queasy and would put me off eating. I absolutely cant stand people who eat with their gobs open, or who eat noisily, it is like nails scraping down a blackboard to me.

at promoting open-mouth eating. It's vile and uneccessary. I feel your DDs pain, OP. I hate sitting with open-mouthed eaters.

Could you maybe suggest she sits with different people each lunchtime and eventually she might find some who eat properly? Then she knows who to sit with?

Teach her to say "gosh, you're a very noisy eater, aren't you?"

I understand completely, it makes me nauseous too.

Have a word with the teacher and ask if they can do some role-playing on table manners, being considerate to other people and what eating a healthy lunch entails as part of their phse? We did this recently at school as the dinner ladies complained of poor table manners.

you could get her to say what gnocchi said or what i say to my children or did , I dont need to see your lunch/biscuit/tea/apple ,

There's not much you can do about it really...as long as she's not trying it on and just 'nibbling' the nicer parts of her lunch.

Are they allowed to snack at play time?

DS(6) is like this - he was sitting next to someone who was chewing with their mouth open. He asked them to close their mouth but they continued masticating loudly and DS was sick on the table. They don't sit together any more. Would that work?

Oh lordy your DD was ME! I remember actually crying with disgust once! The thing is..I ended up anorexic. I'm not suggesting that your DD is, but it's a sign sometimes of a problem.

A BIG issue for me when I was ill was eating near other people...I still don't like it even though I am recovered. I suggest that you think about cognitive behaviour therapy...I seriously do.

The problem with it is that she won't even want to LOOK never mind speak about it...you could try to teach her to choose say three other kids who are not eating with their mouths opoen and look at them...in addition to something on the wall and around the room in general. Give her the tools to ignore.

I hope I haven't scared you with my comments about eating disorders....they're complex things and begin early.

I'm with your daughter on this one! I have had an aversion to this since I was little too still have. I used to make remarks very loudly about disgusting manners to teachers and ask if I could sit and eat with them! Maybe a suggestion for circle time on good/bad manners?
My own DC learnt very early on it was unacceptable...I took away food if they didn't eat properly and use good table manners! [mean mother emoticon]. Result was they were often complimented on their manners from a very young age when they went to tea or parties at friends houses.

I think (in my experience) it's perfectly natural for any child to be put off their lunch by open mouthed eaters...I know my 3 have all moaned about it at times.

I was also exactly the same as your DD!
I was an absolute rake until I went to uni. I hated eating at school in particular.
I am pretty sure at primary school good girls like me were put on tables with naughty boys for a bit which of course meant it was much worse. They would spit yoghurt as they ate etc. grim!
Might be worth speaking to a teacher to see if lunchtime seating arrangements could be changed to help her sit with nice well mannered kids?!

Also I used to nibble at my lunch whilst keeping it in wrappers so flying bits of food/spit didn't touch it! Maybe some types of food are easier for her to eat than others and maybe good sandwich bags which she can eat from might help.

I have lots of sympathy for her. Don't be harsh as some have suggested, forcing her to eat could simply make her sick or give her a bad relationship with food. Just give her good wholesome snacks as soon as she gets home.

I don't blame her - I can't stand it either! She shouldn't have to get used to it. The teacher/midday assistance should have a word with the others and tell them to learn some table manners as they are putting others off their food. If they can't learn to eat in a pleasant non-offensive way they should sit on a separate table together, in much the same way they would be made to if they were behaving anti-socially or distracting people in lessons.

Oh I see Squishy has already suggested the same but with a rather more tactful apporach than me.

Your DD is very sensible, people like this are disgusting. I find the sight and especially the noise intolerable. If I sit anywhere near someone who starts crunching crisps before they've closed their lips or chomps an apple noisily I just recoil and want to run away from them. My MIL seems incapable of controlling her jaw and lips separately so her mouth opens and closes with every chew, accompanied by lovely smacking noises. UUUUUURRRRRGHHHH!! My tolerance early in the morning is especially low - any family member chomping toast or cereal with abandon nearly gets stabbed with a butter knife.

I second the suggestion of asking the teacher to ensure everyone learns good table manners. It's not doing anyone any favours to let them get away with this until it becomes ingrained.

Blinkers?

Op - I know what you mean, my DS1 hates it too, and judging by some of the friends that come round here for dinner, eating like a pig is alive and well. When they are here, I often ask them to close their mouths when they chew (pleasantly).

I agree that she will (unfortunately) need to learn to tolerate it. It would be good if schools could foster good table manners as well, but frankly, with levels of supervision being what they are, I don't see it happening

She should not get used to it, she should be encouraged to tell them how revolting they are.

Maybe get her HUGE lunchbox she can erect as a screen and not have to see it.

She shouldn't be encouraged to tell them how revolting they are at all...some children have adenoid troubles and find it very hard to eat with mouths closed...and that from me! I HATE looking at the inside of someone's mouth!

Have you spoken to the staff, as Hilly says it is offensive behaviour?
It is disgusting and unnecessary.
If the school don't help maybe the gift of a trough in the playground would be the way to go! .

I had to watch a woman devour an enormous hotdog the other day...massive...and she did not chew with her mouth shut ONCE! was also eating a hotdog and I wanted to hit her with it!

I couldn't take my eyes off her...it was like car crash tv!

Good idea to speak to the staff...they need to remind the children. I remember the HT tellling us all "Sausages are NOT lollipops!" because we all speared them instead of cutting them up!