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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

999 replies

Shelby2010 · 13/05/2012 22:40

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

OP posts:
gnomeland · 13/05/2012 23:22

We did it once, in Cornwall, in a small B&B/pub with a few rooms upstairs.

In a bigger hotel, I wouldn't. Not because of abduction but because of fire.

If there was a fire, you wouldn't be allowed up to get them and nobody upstairs would know they were there.

kittyandthefontanelles · 13/05/2012 23:22

How does a listening service work?

gnomeland · 13/05/2012 23:23

Is it in the UK. Have you tried sitters.co.uk?

They are very good.

StealthPolarBear · 13/05/2012 23:23

Worra, no, he was a single malt kind of toddler.

I remember they had luxury hot chocolate too. So I had that, my wine, a book and peace and quiet. Bliss.

fluffypillow · 13/05/2012 23:23

Thanks for coming back op Smile. I'm glad to hear you've had second thoughts. Hope you enjoy your holiday Thanks

Hopefullyrecovering · 13/05/2012 23:25

YABVU

Never did this with either of mine. Too much risk of fire, choking, clambering out of cot and getting lost etc. I spent the early years always within earshot or a responsible adult within earshot. A hotel receptionist busy ignoring a baby listening service does not constitute a responsible adult within earshot.

LittlePicnic · 13/05/2012 23:26

I wouldn't leave a child in those circumstances.

Original poster
Shelby2010 · 13/05/2012 23:26

Just to answer some of the other questions raised:

  1. DD is a good sleeper, would be in a travel cot that she can't get out of.
  2. DH is even more paranoid than I am and is unlikely to agree to leaving her anyway.
  3. The wedding hotel is a small one which has been booked out in total for the wedding.
  4. Hadn't really thought about it until booking the holiday hotel which made a big deal about being child-friendly while still giving you 'adult' time by using their listening service with dedicated member of staff on duty.

Thanks again for helping to clarify things for me, I will follow my gut instinct and either keep her with me or leave early.

OP posts:
Duritzfan · 13/05/2012 23:28

No - not an 18 mo old - never - she could choke while waiting for baby listening to hear
Just no
Sorry
An 18 mo old with a 11+ sibling in the room - perhaps .. But no way alone - and ideally never without anyone u15 in the same room ..

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/05/2012 23:32

Would never do this myself. Never in a million years. Gut instinct tellsme it's just not the right thing to do in any circumstance. All the different risks mentioned already, however small, ARE still risks and I don't take risks where my kids are concerned if there is a viable alternative. It's not just the safety aspect, it's the thought of them waking up all alone in a strange place, with no one to come quickly if they are very upset. Monitors and baby listening are hit and miss in big places, it's totally different to being at home.

Is there anyone on here who can tell me if this is done on the continent? I always get the feeling that its a peculiarity of the English to want their child tucked up in bed so they can have their adult meal/time in peace rather than actually keeping their children with them as part of the social occasion.

EightiesChick · 13/05/2012 23:42

OP, I would get a babysitter for the wedding, really. I booked mine within a week of the event. There's still time and you can both relax then.

MoonlightandRoses · 13/05/2012 23:45

It does definitely come down to what you and DH are actually comfortable with and that should be the deciding factor.

Of the people I know who used a hotel's listening service, only one set had a problem.
Nothing to do with the quality of the service (which was a dedicated one, not just Reception checking occasionally) - problem was they had a massive row on the way back to the room, then had a 'making up' session and realised the next morning they had forgotten to switch off the service prior to that...

MarySA · 13/05/2012 23:48

How do you know she wouldn't climb out of the cot. And then have an accident. It's definitely just not on.

MumPaula · 13/05/2012 23:50

I wouldn't do it like many others here. What we did when Dd was 2 and we stayed in a hotel was let her stay up with us, she would crash on one of our knees and then we'd lie her in the pushchair fully reclined and she'd sleep like that till we went to bed and took her with us. But she was one of those happy kids who smiled and laughed for everyone then just fell asleep on her dinner plate. Not a grump like my boys had been.

curiositykitten · 13/05/2012 23:50

Nope, definitely not something I would do.

I hope you come up with a solution both you and your DH are happy with.

bogeyface · 13/05/2012 23:52

CurlyHaired

Ex DH and I got major catsbum faces in France once when we ate out alone one evening (with the kids being babysat) for my birthday. It was made quite clear that we should have been there as a family. We never left the kids behind after that!

pumpkinsweetie · 13/05/2012 23:55

No way would i!! Dont do it op get a babysitter or take her in her pushchair.

VirginOrange · 14/05/2012 00:05

No, I just couldn't do that. Too many safety risks.

I would get a sitter or take dc with me.

Morloth · 14/05/2012 00:08

Just take her to the party. She won't melt if she stays up a bit late.

If children are invited then take her with you.

barristermum · 14/05/2012 00:16

In the circs the opener describes I would definitely be comfortable with a good baby listening service. My dd would be freaked out by a random babysitter she didn't know in the room. She would no way go to sleep if dh or I were in there with her - she'd just want to chat/entertain/be entertained. And it would be totally unfair to her to keep her up for the wedding reception.

I have used baby listening/monitor devices in small hotels to great success and with no problems.

solidgoldbrass · 14/05/2012 00:21

But it might start raining hammers at any time! Or zombies might happen! Even when you're in your own home and your own bed and have sworn a solemn oath never to have any fun again ever.
If you have a DC who wakes easily and is likely to be upset and confused by waking alone in a strange place then don't do it, if you have one like mine, who could sleep through a Slipknot concert once he's dropped off, the risk of anything going wrong is really, really small.

bobbledunk · 14/05/2012 00:24

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MarySA · 14/05/2012 00:26

But that's the whole point of not doing it. Even if the risk is really small why take a risk with a child. I wouldn't.

toobreathless · 14/05/2012 00:46

We have done this several times.

We use an iPhone baby monitor app to ring our other phone & it then transmits any sounds from within the room. Works very well.

We choose higher end boutique hotels. They tend to have fewer rooms & the dining room/bar isn't that far away.

DD is too young to climb out of travel cot/go exploring.

We check on her once every 20 minutes.

We WOULDN'T do it in large hotels, spread out hotels where dining room is several floors away, if dining room in different building etc

Works for us.

ComradeJing · 14/05/2012 00:58

Not in a million years. I don't care that it is statistically unlikely, I couldn't, couldn't do it.

We always put dd down for a nap at 5 (or at least I sit with her in a dark room for an hour while she is in her cot) and then we go to dinner as a family with in the night garden on my iPad so she is entertained and we can enjoy a long dinner