To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

[Shelby2010]

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

But the OP isnt talking about a small pub with rooms, she is talking about a holiday hotel, so larger, busier and noisier, and then a wedding, again larger and noisier.

The McCanns thought it would be fine, it wasnt and they have to live with that forever, it comes down to whether you are happy to risk the same, be it from fire or anything else.

No. I would leave the party early instead and keep DC with me.

example of a more split discussion on same theme

I'm not particularly a cheerleader for it though, just saying some of us do it.

I think the chances of anything happening are very, very small. I think pre-Maddie Mcann it probably happened loads with very,very few negative consequences. I still wouldn't though because I wouldn't be able to enjoy the party/dinner or whatever I was doing anyway and why take the risk? There are loads of ways round it so even if the chance of fire or abduction is tiny it's not worth the risk.

I've done it. Everything was fine.

This was 2 months after Maddie McCann.

I would never do this.

Life changes when you have children and you have to fit your life around them, I could never enjoy myself whilst wondering if my child was safe.

No. Are you there OP? Did your partner suggest this? You won't do it will you? The times Ive slept in hotels and someone has accidentally tried the door...things like that torture me....what if there was a fire? The door would be locked and youd have the key and not be there!

Thank you for the prompt and mainly consistent responses. I will definitely err on the side of caution. The holiday will be fine, we have booked a big room with a separate sleeping area for Dd, so we can watch TV etc without disturbing her. And for the wedding we'll just have to take turns sitting it out, it's only one night after all.

Thanks again.

The Op isnt quiet, she only posted half an hour ago! She probably doesnt sit on MN like the rest of us :o

With a monitor? I would.

Take the baby to the wedding, I bet she loves it!

One late night wont hurt and you and your DH will have a much better night too :)

You're not being PFB about it, IMO. Your post suggests you're not comfortable with it, trust your instincts on this one.

(Sorry - hit post too soon, damned phone.)

No I wouldn't. Was in similar situation re wedding last year and got a babysitter to come to the hotel (in fact I asked on here for recommendations in the area) and it just meant me and DH could totally relax and both be able to enjoy the occasion with our friends. It is well worth the money to be able to do that. Otherwise you need to take turns. DH and I have stayed in hotels when visiting friends who don't have spare rooms and we each have an hour at a time down in the bar with our friends while the other one reads in the room.

For holidays, as has been said, you need a different pattern. You just can't eat at 'normal' adult evening time anymore. I would either go for an early meal with your DD awake, or walk her round in her buggy till she's asleep then take her to the restaurant with you, or get get room service/take turns. Of course you could book babysitting again for a couple of nights as a treat.

Thanks for coming back OP.

oh not in a million years would I do that!!trust your instincts!

No way, nothing is important enough for me to do that.

No, I wouldn't. My parents never did either. I remember my mum getting us to have evening naps so we could stay up with them and eat at the same time as them.

If you can, i would get a babysitter.

Everything Sagenod says!

Also work in a hotel, (On reception) and would no way ever encourage anyone to do this. In the event of a fire, you WOULD NOT be allowed to go back to that room. You'd need to wait for the Fire Officer to be in attendance for the report of the child missing to be actioned as employees wouldn't be allowed to re-enter the building for your child.

Seriously, for the cost of a babysitting service I wouldn't risk a child's life. Sounds dramatic I know, but it was only two weeks ago that the Best Western in Falmouth burnt down in the middle of the day, which is the "easiest" time to evacuate a hotel.

FFS, It is statistically pretty safe to do this. Up until about 15 years ago it was very much what everyone did, and the terrible-horrible-tragedies were extremely rare. Probably about the same percentage of terrible-horrible-tragedies occurred when there was fire/floods/bombs/gas leaks/axe murderers in ordinary family homes with parents actually asleep in the house.

I have done it (when DS was about 7 months). Nothing bad happened. The factors to consder are, generally: how good a sleeper s the DC? Can s/he get out of bed and go wandering? Are there any obvious nearby hazards like steep stairs or a pool just ouside the door?

FWIW Madeline McCann was really really the wrong age to be left alone - old enough to wake up and wander off, not old enough to realise that it's a bad idea to to so.

My parents used to with me when I was small. The hotels weren't big and one of the them would pop back up every 20 minutes. I don't have children yet.no idea how I'd feel! I probably wouldn't, although maybe in a small bed and breakfast style hotel I might.

Yup, have done this a few times with our now 11 month old. Only in small places (by which I mean we were one flight of stairs/corridor away) and with our own monitor.

It's not something you can totally plan in advance in my view - you have to get to the place, check monitor works, make sure you feel comfortable re room, locks, cot etc.

i don't think it is uncommon among parents.

No. Wouldn't do it.
Sleep in a buggy next to me where I can see her.
Or take wine to the room when she's grouchy and tired of the party.
You are parents. This is part of the deal when they are so small.

No chance would I EVER do this. DC stay with me, their Dad, their Aunt who is 17, or either of their Nans at all times. I wouldn't even consider leaving my nearly 7 year old. Never. Anything could happen. A pushchair, blanket/toy with you is a much better, and safer option and something which we have done and will continue to do (obviously not the eldest with regards to the pushchair, he just curls up on a seat/cushions and passes out)

If you feel assured enough and you have weighed up the realistic risks then go ahead. Better for babies hearing too avoiding any loud dj/band etc. Does the hotel provide a proper cot?

No way! Even before all the Madeline Mc Cann business I would never agree with leaving children alone in hotel rooms. On hols we always have our kids with us ALL of the time. If it's a night out thats needed maybe a relative could keep your LO overnight or let him fall asleep in a buggy with you or get a babysitter at the hotel. There are other options.