To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

[Shelby2010]

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

Define "babysitter" SGB.

I, like many others on here, are happy to use a CRB checked professional. However, there are others who will use their sisters boyfriends brothers dogs uncle who they dont really know just in order to get a night out. It is these that are more likely to be the statistical risks you refer to.

Again, its about acceptable risk. Leaving a child alone in a hotel room is an unacceptable risk, leaving a child with someone I dont know, who's background I dont know is an unacceptable risk, but using a fully qualified, legally checked sitter is an acceptable risk.

Oh and I dont remember anyone saying that no one should want any time away from their DC at all. Merely that there is a time and a place and a holiday/hotel stay, without appropriate childcare in place, and trusting to dumb luck is neither.

Clean CRB check just means that the person hasn't been caught eating babies yet. Nor does it guarantee that the person you leave your DC with (whether that's friend, relative or expensive hired professional) won't suddenly develop a psychotic illness in the middle of the evening and set fire to themselves next to the child's cot.

Mind you, there are no guarantees that the selfless, martyred, doting, risk-hysterical parent won't suddenly develop a psychotic illness and run riot with an aze, actually. It is not evil selfish abusive neglectful should-be-stoned-to-death-for-it behaviour to leave a child in a hotel room if you have checked that hotel room for hazards, checked the distance between room and bar/restaurant, are aware of your own specific DC and how they might behave and have assessed the risk as reasonable.

I wouldn't. How easily does she sleep? Could you just keep her with you in her buggy and let her sleep in that?

Eh?!

So using a CRB check professional sitter is MORE of a risk than leaving the child completely alone? How the fuck does that work then?!

"We rarely go out as a couple.
I'm talking once every 18 months if that. We socialise with our friends at our houses, with the children.
I go out with my friends and dh sometimes has a pint with his. We are happy doing this."

Actually, I think it is very important for children to see their parents make time for each other. I think my children will benefit from seeing that DH and I regularly go out with each other.

Never going out together may work OK for you, but would be a terrible strain on a lot of relationships, including the relationships your children will have in the future. So to have them growing up thinking that it is "normal" is potentially damaging.

to have them growing up thinking that it is "normal" is potentially damaging.

I think thats stretching it!

Its only damaging if mummy and daddy arent happy, but if mummy and daddy rarely go out (as my parents didnt) and are happy with that (as my parents were) then that is a positive lesson surely? It shows that happiness can be found within these 4 walls.

Just because your marriage would suffer due to limited "us" time, doesnt mean everyones would.

"but would be a terrible strain on a lot of relationships, including the relationships your children will have in the future. So to have them growing up thinking that it is "normal" is potentially damaging."

That is really stretching it. Whaton eart is abnormal about it? I think it's projecting a lot to claim it's potentially damaging.

Solidgold - you sound like you have a massive chip on your shoulder

The inference that if you dont go out on your own very often,that your marriage will breakdown is an odd one imo.

A good marriage should be about more than a meal out together.

We have a nice evening most days.We eat or play tipsy scrabble or watch a zombie movie or just chat and giggle about our day. We used to be party animals and now dont go out that often but it hasnt affected our relationship.

I just googled, couldn't find a case of a child being abducted from a locked hotel room when parents are listening on monitor, or being in a fire, only looked at first page though. However googled abuse and babysitter and first page full of cases.

I just really don't get why a couple needs to leave a child alone in a hotel whilst they eat dinner?
Surely your alone time could be when there in bed at home? Or when a relative or very close friend babysits for you?
We make sacrafices when we have kids, if you cannot get a trustworthy babysitter or you find taking LO out in pram too much hard work maybe you shouldn't be going to said hotels in first place.
If some of your relationships are based around doing this i am very shocked tbh.
I don't know anyone that does this personally, but whatever floats your boat i will agree to disagree just make sure your children are as safe as possible

not read all this thread but no way would i leave any dcs.

Not with an 18month old - sorry. I think a listening service is fine if they are much older, but this is till very young.

Its not abduction that I would be worried about as that is very very unlikely. What I would be worried about is the 18month old getting up, climbing out of bed/cot and doing something dangerous. Hotel rooms are rarely toddler proof.

If it was a tiny B&B so it was no different to sitting in your living room while your 18month old was upstairs I think this is fine, depending on the safety of the room itself. I would ask the hotel about babysitters.

And of course you are entitled to still go out or away for the weekend. Becoming a parent does not mean that you have to sit inside every night.

So now it's not safe to leave your baby with a close friend or relative who you would trust with your life or a registered sitter??? But it is safe to leave then alone in a room on their own ?? Just because someone has googled, that is proof?? What a load of rubbish.

If you look at google cases properly and read them, I expect most people on here wouldn't have left a dog with these abusive " babysitters" never mind a baby.

I also doubt cases of children waking up upset and alone, or children having a croup attack with nobody there to help for 5 minutes, or other such things would interest the media. Doesn't mean they don't happen though!

Exactly Quick

In alot of these cases, as I mentioned above, the sitters werent vetted or really considered for their suitability. If someone I barely knew was offering to look after my child I wouldnt think "ooh great, I can go out on the lash" I would be wondering why they are keen to take care of a random child......

Again, as I said above, its about acceptable risk. A vitual stranger is not acceptable, a trusted relative or CRB checked professional sitter is.

Actually LeQ I think that you are being very shortsighted by not trusting in statistics, after all, they prove everything

Bubbaluv I agree with you.

It's HUGELY important to maintain a good relationship with your dh/dp and this means spending time with each other just the two of you on a regular basis. That relationship holds the whole family together plus it sets a good example to your dc about really valuing your marriage/partnership. And that relationship has got to last long after your children have left home.