To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

[Shelby2010]

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

Yes in order to get her details to report her

She wasn't even aiming it at anyone specific.

lookie, Olivia is here

everybody skedaddle!.....

Mad as a box of frogs the lot of you!

I gurantee that in the time you have all spent squabbling on invested in this thread your dc's have probably been at far more risk than they ever would be in a locked hotel room!

hehe, Jac

we will get some twatty MRA-type coming on here any minute now to "you bunch of child-abusing harpies, internet warriors neglecting your children!!!"

etc

I'll not discuss the PM further. And kayano yes I did call you a headless chicken, after your post to me which I see has now been deleted. I think it was a fair response.

Sardine that's nice to know I think we argued on the feminist boards once, but doesn't everyone?

Ah well, there's nothing like a heated debate to shake the cobwebs away!

Oh dear andypandy - begged you personally? Really?

I asked all those who were calling us unfit mothers to stand by their accusations.

I said in my very polite PM to you and here on the boards that leaving a sleeping child in a hotel room is not illegal. How irresponsible would I be however, to give a complete stranger my full name and address?

Would you like me to do that just so you can call me an unfit mother again?

Cripes you pop out for a few hours and a bun fight errupts.

Let's all just agree to disagree?

neglectful, leaving a child in a hotel room, whilst you are 2 mins away with a baby moniter? thats not neglectful!! tell you what my dp actually works with children in care, he has seen real neglect and abuse and believe me you wouldnt want to begin to imagine what that is and its NOT leaving a child in ahotel room with a baby moniter.

You see, saying I wouldn't do it personally, I don't like it when people do it, it would scare me, is fine.

Saying I think it's OK, I see what sort of hotel it is and go on what I think, I have thought about the tiny risks and am prepared to take them, also fine.

To say that you would report someone to social services for utilising a widespread hotel service which everyone including SS are well aware of.... Ummmmmmmmmmm...... Well. Not fine? I say not fine. I say, rather OTT to say the very least.

Quite right 5madthings. Leaving your DC in a hotel room with a listening device is a loooong way from neglect or abuse. Would I have done it at the age of the OP's DC? Probaby not because I woudn't relax enough to enjoy my evening. Neither DC would have wanted to wake up and find me/DH not there. However I wouldn't condemn someone for doing it - friends have and to be perfectly honest, it didn't really register with me. Some unnecessarily extreme views on this thread. Just agree to disagree!

friends have done it

Oh right, sorry I said that andypandy was new to Mumsnet. I take that back. She has posted under that name on this thread but may be a perfectly legit poster who has namechanged due to the sensitive nature of this thread.

I don't think I'd do it, but I don't see the problem if the monitor worked or if using the hotel listening service.

Just wouldn't feel comfortable myself

On that note I really do have to go now. This is the first time I've ever mumsnetted whilst making tea. It's actually quite easy!

Look, we're all strangers so I guess it makes no odds what strangers think of your parenting. Yes it's bloody annoying to be told that you are unfit and ought to be reported, but these are posts largely by people who are loving the audience on this thread. Most others have just said they either would or wouldn't and left it at that. I get that some may have strong views either way but really, what does it matter? You parent the way you see fit and you take calculated risks that are different to everyone else's. That doesn't make you any worse or better than anyone else. Just different. Hooray for that.

RhUBARB I didnt call anyone an unfit parent, please read my posts before making accusations.

I said that I was disgusted at the entitled attitude of some people that their adult time was more important to them than the safety and well being of their children. I also said that if a person insisted that their marriage couldnt survive a two week holiday without adult time then it would be unlikely to survive anyway. I said that there seemed to be alot of people askance at the idea that they might have to sit in a hotel room in the dark from 7pm just because they have a child, and I merely pointed out that that is part of being a parent! There are many ways around that, booking SC, relaxing the routine etc, that dont involve leaving the child on its own. It comes down to the attitude of "What I want is more important than what my child needs" and that is truly disgusting.

I didnt say it was selfish (I dont think) but it is, and I stand by that.

:)

Circa 1976'ish... waif child left alone in a car on a dark night, across the road from the pub where her parents were having a 'drink', HUGE German Shepherd in car with child. What happened? HUGE German Shepherd wouldn't let parents into the car when they came back! This an abiding childhood memory of mine and still makes me smile 35+ years later ( I LOVED that dog).

Many years later and speaking with MIL after a break away visiting my family in a large city. She was aghast that we'd taken DC1 (15 months) to dinner with us and hadn't left them in the room (17 floors up) so we could "eat dinner in peace". DH recalls being left in room with siblings (early 80's) during a trip to London, his parents had 'tipped' a random Hotel employee to 'look out' for Dh and siblings while In-Laws went out for several hours (ponders if they 'took in a show'?!)

No animals or children were hurt in the making of this post...

Oh dear this has turned into a bunfight!
Everyone has opinions and that is what mumsnet is for.
Imo leaving a child/ren alone in a hotel room is unesessary and there is better alternitves such as a babysitter, relative, friend or simply take your baby/toddler in buggy like i did, they sleep through much of it anyway and atleast your child is safe and you know they are hungry etc.
The question is it worth taking a risk? Any risk on your childs life ? I think not :fire, choking, accident, electrocution & very unlikely abduction (very unlikely but still a risk)

So you have dinner on the ground floor, baby asleep a floor or two up...there is a fire. You think they will let you go and get your baby? Think again.

Don't be selfish, forsake a few quid for a sitter, or skip the partying. Parents who do this make my blood boil. Your enjoyment is not more important than your child's safety. Do you have any idea how easy it is to obtain a hotel key card? Ever lost one and asked for a spare? Did they ask for ID? Not normally...
Do you know how many staff members or casuals can access your room?

If something appended to your child, you would feel guilty? Or totally absolved of guilt?

Why on earth have I been deleted? I never attacked anyone just pointed out that to be upset at people calling you names on the Internet... While also calling other people names at the same time was a hypocritical exercise.

I suspect some one sided reporting there like

Mine are 3 and 6, never have and never intend to...what if she wakes up and is scared, what if she vomits...what if she finds a way out of the blinkin room, sticks her finger in the plug socket, gets her baby mitts on your hair straighteners, plugs them in and sets fire to the bed? Okay, i'm being a little bit silly, but really there are too many what ifs and that's before you start on the evil people in the world! Keep your baby with you, she'll have a great time, and what does it matter if she's up late? Not like she's got school! Let her have fun with you, she'll be the belle of the ball!

I always have my dinner on the ground floor with the children asleep a floor up

And in the event of a fire the babies will not be left to burn despite what some people on here are claiming. I'm amazed that anyone seriously believes that.

In 1976 everyone could smoke in the workplace, no-one had to wear seatbelts in cars, the National Front were big and the Wurzels were in the charts.

Thankfully, times have moved on :)