To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

[Shelby2010]

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

Gawd I thought I was going to go mental when we last went on holiday with the both of them, all trapped together in a small room, lights off at 7 and trying to lie there in silence with them thrumping around.

Not fun.

We don't bother going on holiday any more

Don't worry kayano, I was deleted too. No reporting just a MNHQ alarm bell.

Mind you mine broke troll rules.

I'm happy to report that all is well on the PM side and whilst AndyPandy30 and I may never be best buddies, she is actually a decent poster.

Bogeyface I think I was speaking generally there.

Live and let live. You might not leave your kids in a hotel room with a baby monitor but that is not to say that those who do are selfish, irresponsible parents. Likewise those who choose not to do this, are not over protective precious parents either.

IF the circumstances are right then I would have no hesitation in doing this again. As one poster pointed out, even Health Visitors were recommending it. It is not illegal in the slightest, otherwise hotels wouldn't be allowed to offer listening services of their own.

Hopefully others reading this thread will have a good understanding of both sides of the argument and can form their own opinions. But let's not call the actions of parents selfish or neglectful shall we? There's no need.

Ending on a positive note?

Maybe because of the nature of fire you can't say what would happen. How many children die in fires? A lot despite parents trying everything to get to them

Thats the thing isnt it, if you dont want to look after your children dont have them or use the babysitting service!

Granted not in hotels

Pumpkin, someone slated the hotel babysitting service saying they used unqualified and untrained staff.

Saying if you don't want to look after them don't have them is just the kind of silly attitude that causes trouble on threads. I mean, why post such an offensive and shitty thing to say? Just why? What a generalisation!

Kayano, someone earlier posted stats on hotel fires. I think they said that 1 person died in a hotel fire in 2010. Hotels are generally much more regulated for health and safety than your own home. Most children unfortunately die in house fires.

Like I said, it's about looking at the risks and making a logical decision based on those risks. Which is what many parents do. And guess what? They are still decent, loving and responsible parents.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-18049227

This man and his wife were downstairs when the kids were upstairs. That was in their own house.

There you go LeQueen. We all have different attitudes to risk taking.

In a non-smoking hotel, with sprinklers and sensitive smoke alarms that are linked to the fire station, your children are probably safer from fire than in your own homes.

Abduction isn't a possibly that is worth spending very much time on.

The children waking and getting upset will be eliminated with the use of a good monitor (most have alarms and light up if they detect noise and some even have sensitive breathing monitoring). Ditto them getting up and harming themselves.

These are the risks we considered and we found them to be minimal enough to be worth taking.

Yet on the other hand I had kittens when my now 11yo dd had to let herself in after school and be home alone for half an hour whilst I collected ds from school. I was afraid of her trying to cook something, or answering the door to someone, or losing her keys etc. Someone else wouldn't bat an eyelid at leaving their kids at the age of 11 home alone.

Individuals are funny like that, we tend to make different choices.

Upthread someone posted fire stats with a link: 69,000 files in total in 2010/11, of which 1,000 happened in hotels. 388 fatalities in 2010/11, of which 1 happened in a hotel.

Hotels (of all sizes) if they are not hellholes have extremely careful plans in place to evacuate in the event of a fire. Lots of people use hotels who are less able, or unable, to get out by themselves and hotels are aware of this and have plans in place.

The idea that in the event of a fire, hotel policy is to leave children who are asleep while their parents dine downstairs, to their fate, while presumably sweeping all the other rooms and evacuating eg elderly people and those who are less mobile... It's nonsense. Why are people so keen to believe this? To believe it means that you believe that all hotels are run by people who are not, well, actually human

Why is it a silly attitude? We have kids to love, cherish and set a good example to so why leave the alone in a hotel room so u can have a good time?
We all need a break once in a while but that is what family and babysitters are for- why not spend the extra cash for peace of mind? Is the risk worth taking ?
Imo no mother or father should risk it

And another good point how are you to hear the monitor adequetly whilst music is playing??

LeQueen, at the time we did it our kids were very young and were in bed for around 7pm. The lights had to be fully out (they were used to blackout blinds) or they wouldn't sleep and would have had a fit if we'd try to leave them with a complete stranger. Ds especially was a very very clingy baby.

We had spent many a night sat miserably in our rooms from 7pm.

When you spend all day with the children, appeasing them, trying to eat out without them making a fuss, playing with them, taking them on rides etc, you just want a little time off in the evening to relax with a glass of wine.

I'm not a natural born parent as my blog (shameless plug) will testify to. I needed time with dh, for support, for chat, for reassurance. I refuse to feel guilty about making a decision based on calculating risks and careful considerations. Not that you were asking me to

pumpkin, many monitors have lights as well as sound.

And in some circumstances, family and friends are not available. And if you are travelling around France, they don't do babysitters. Plus many posters say they have been quoted £80 for a babysitter in a hotel. That's out of most peoples budget. And again someone else (monkey) slated hotel babysitters.

Leaving the kids with a stranger who is not CRB checked and who you don't know from adam is not an option for me. I'd rather leave them with a monitor than leave them with a stranger.

Keep her with you in her buggy? Don't leave her on her own. You would never forgive yourself if anything happened to her. I have never left my two children unattended anywhere!

No way !

How funny

therhubarb your posts about kids going down at 7 in pitch dark and not leaving them with a stranger are exactly how I feel.

Mine never slept in a pushchair or pram, it had to be a cot, and it had to be quiet and dark. I remember taking them to things and they'd be screaming in their pushchair worn out and all my friends would be why doesn't she just go to sleep. Different children are different, aren't they.

And I would also prefer a monitor to a person I didn't know. Don't know why, it's just how I feel.

TheRhubarb I like your blog.

It does strike me as odd though when you say 'surely a holiday is a time for parents to unwind?' I don't think that's the general idea when you have taken your kids on holiday, you don't get to be a part time parent, much as it might appeal.

It really is common sense isnt it?
If you cant afford the babysitter you cant afford the hotel it all goes hand in hand.
I cant see why anyone would take the risk