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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave Dd alone in hotel room?

999 replies

Shelby2010 · 13/05/2012 22:40

More of a WWYD really. We are going to be staying with Dd (18mths) in a hotel next month on holiday & then overnight for a wedding in July. How safe do MNetters feel it is to leave their sleeping DC in the room with either the listening service or a normal baby monitor while eating in the hotel restaurant or attending an evening reception?

Am I being very PFB to worry about how many members of staff could access the room (especially with programable card keys)? The fact that hotels do offer a listening service suggests that many parents are ok with this. I'm torn between thinking I'm paranoid and thinking that they always tell you not to leave valuables in you room except in the safe..... Help!

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 14/05/2012 16:29

Like I say, I did it. Most of my parents' generation did it regularly and the kids didn't all catch fire or get kidnapped by aliens. Kids are better off with a relaxed happy parent than a whining martyr.

Latsia · 14/05/2012 16:30

...because those are the only two camps yes?

If you leave them you are a relaxed parent. If you don't you are a whining martyr?

Kayano · 14/05/2012 16:33

I'm not hysterical, I'm actually rather chilled out. Just saying your post was a bit confrontational about posters behind a computer screen.... When you are doing the exact same thing.

TheRhubarb · 14/05/2012 16:34

Erm no, did you miss the posts that said if you leave them you are a disgusting and irresponsible parent who shouldn't have kids? A bit more extreme than merely being called a whining martyr I think.

Shame that no-one is willing to just shake hands, agree to disagree and move on.

TheRhubarb · 14/05/2012 16:36

So what am I doing that is the same kayano? Asking posters to agree to disagree? Telling them I understand their pov?

If posters think they have the balls to tell other posters that they should never have had kids and that they are disgusting and unfit parents then they should back that up. Not just post their ranty little comments and then run.

perfumedlife · 14/05/2012 16:38

op I'm glad you thought about it and decided not to. I think it would be harder to relax while watching a monitor like a hawk all night than having your child in a pram next to you.

Clearly the abduction risk is miniscule, it's other hazards I'd worry about. I don't even think it's been proven little Madeleine was abducted, just that she is missing. I still have a horror that she woke and walked out that unlocked door and could have fallen anywhere.

I think we moan as a nation about places being child unfriendly but actually, maybe it's us that make it that way, desiring our 'adult time' and 'kid free hours' in a way that other Europeans don't seem to.

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/05/2012 16:39

Haven't read all posts, but it's a no for me. I would let her sleep in her buggy if I had to bring her with me.

StealthPolarBear · 14/05/2012 16:40

"Most of my parents' generation did it regularly and the kids didn't all catch fire or get kidnapped by aliens."
But some did? Hmmm...

Snusmumriken · 14/05/2012 16:43

I would never do it.

Latsia · 14/05/2012 16:45

TheRhubarb I was responding to solidgoldbrass.

No I did not miss those other viewpoints. I also did not miss you get monkeymoma up against the ropes. I think she was not one of the ones who expressed that extreme opinion, she just didn't agree with you. She is coming from the point of view of having witnessed the behaviour of parents on holiday from the viewpoint of the childcare provider, which I find an interesting one. Given her experiences and what she has witnessed in other parents I think she has expressed her views in a very controlled manner!!

There seem to be two camps on this thread - the ones who would, after giving it much thought and regularly check / monitor / listen / take turns etc and then the ones who wouldn't at all. Both parents doing what they think is right by their children and trying to find a balance that sits well with them. And I agree with you there's not real much point either side condemning eachother.

No-one would ever own up to being the parents who leg it, leave their kids in the hotel room / with random sitter, turn the monitor off / pretend they don't hear it, aren't contactable, refuse to return when requested because they think they deserve some me time! I wonder how many of those are on this thread. Maybe none. Maybe some.

Proudnscary · 14/05/2012 16:48

I haven't read all posts but considering there are 9 pages can only imagine the amount of 'Maddie McCanns' and bunfighting!

I wouldn't and haven't done it. Thankfully dh and I implictly agreed on this one. Could never have relaxed and my anxiety/imagination would have gone into overdrive (and I'm actually not at all precious)>

But there are other things we have done that others wouldn't dream of doing so horses for courses...

Kayano · 14/05/2012 16:48

I'm a relaxed happy parent who takes my kids or gets a sitter or I don't do.

TheRhubarb · 14/05/2012 16:49

If you are going to make accusations about me having got monkeymoma up against the ropes then please back that up with evidence.

I know monkeymoma thought I had said that she had been one of the ones saying how disgusting it was and I apologised for that mix-up, told her I understand where she was coming from and offered to shake hands. So do please back up what you have said.

Kayano · 14/05/2012 16:49

The rhubarb you called them cowards for expressing their viewpoint on the Internet....

TheRhubarb · 14/05/2012 16:50

That wasn't what I asked you kayano.

TheRhubarb · 14/05/2012 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Kayano · 14/05/2012 16:51

That's what I was posting about entirely. The fact you object to name calling on the Internet and then called them cowards... On the Internet.

In my first post replying to you I noted the irony

That's all I was and am saying

snappysnappy · 14/05/2012 16:52

No way. Pay for a babysitter

Kayano · 14/05/2012 16:52

Your not going to get any moral high ground using exactly the same tactics Confused

bogeyface · 14/05/2012 16:53

I am one of the so-called ranters.

How would you like me to back up my comments? I am sorry I havent been able to respond sooner but I have been busy, you know, parenting!

bogeyface · 14/05/2012 16:54

I'm not going to btw, its my opinion and I dont actually have to back it up with anything, but interested in hearing how exactly you think I should!

Latsia · 14/05/2012 16:56

Your post of 16:12 was in response to monkeymoma's.
Your post of 16:01 was in response to monkeymoma's and ending with "so why not let it lie" - why should she? She is responding as you are.
Your post of 15:47 "What I don't get is why are you so bothered about others doing it?" to monkeymoma

You appeared to be putting her in the position of being your condemnor. I don't think she was. Lots of other people expressed much more extreme views.

I'm not going back any further and I'm not going to fight with you about it. Happy to shake your hand - as you may or may not see from my first post I said I wouldn't do it but wouldn't judge parents who do.

snappysnappy · 14/05/2012 16:57

Oh an for me its not that I am over estimating the risk of a child being taken/fire etc, its more that I wouldnt want them to wake up screaming in a strange place without someone to comfort them.
In addition an 18month old can get out of a cot (well mine could but they are little evil kineivels) so I wouldnt leave them in a hotel room

TheRhubarb · 14/05/2012 17:01

kayano, I thought that was all you were saying.

I think it's slightly different when you are called an unfit parent and disgusting and respond by telling those posters who post and run, that they are cowards who don't have the conviction of their opinions to back them up.

Latsia, funny how you haven't also given the examples of me telling her that I understood her pov. Your examples of me backing her up against the wall are unconvincing.

bogeyface please do enlighten me on how I am an unfit parent.

Magneto · 14/05/2012 17:02

I wouldn't do it not for anything. Nothing is more important than my ds's safety. In fact when I go on holiday I will probably be in bed with ds at 7pm each night. Quite looking forward to maybe getting some sleep actually.