To think this is too much alcohol for hubs when TTC?

[winkle2]

He's writing a paper for work and since 4pm he's had:

2 gin and tonics
8 bottles of carling and lime (2.8%)

And he's just gone and brought 4 cans of kronenberg.

Just feel like I'm always nagging about his drinking .

A lot of people wouldn't be in the world today if having alcohol meant you couldn't conceive

It does sound a fair bit.

Are you always bringing up the amount he's drinking?

Have you been having problems ttc? His behaviour does sound a bit compulsive, thats quite a lot of alcohol to have had since 4pm.

Tough situation for you OP. It's horrible feeling like you constantly have to monitor someone's behaviour. Has he always been a heavy drinker?

TTC can be incredibly stressful, and the drinking issue can be like a red rag to a bull. Is he listening to your concerns?

Yes I am. I can't help it. Especially as the months go on without a BFP

Is this a regular amount or a one off?

Have you thought of saying you won't ttc until he's got his drinking under control? 14 drinks is a hell of a lot.

We've always both been big drinkers. But I've really cut back as we've been TTC for 8 months (although only really going for it since Jan/Feb)

That's a lot of alcohol in one day - especially if he is trying to work. In terms of TTC, it's not going to be about what he drinks on one day though is it? It's about his overall drinking habits.

Is he going to
Still be drinking that much if you get pregnant and have a baby

That's too much if it's regular.

Kayano - this is actually him 'cutting back'

Imperial - I want a baby so bad I couldn't imagine saying Im giving up TTC

This is hi cutting back??!! I think you and he need to tackle your alcohol issues before you bring a baby into the middle of things.

Overall habits were worse but after me nagging him he has cut back. He used to drink heavily 3 times a week. 6-8 cans a good 3 times a week.

This is him cutting back? So how often does he drink this much?

TBH, the issue here is not the effect his drinking might be having on his sperm count. It's about the sort of husband and father he will be if he has an alcohol problem. Do you think he does?

How long have you been trying to conceive? Depending on your age, I would be seeking at the very least some advice from my GP, if nothing had happened after 6 months of properly trying, ie knowing when you ovulate and ensuring you're actually having sex at the crucial time.

Perhaps an 'official' opinion on his drinking levels would make him sit him and take notice, assuming he's as motivated as you to become a parent?

{{Hugs}} to you - it's not easy .

You've got a lot of compromises ahead of you, I fear.

If you want a baby so badly that you'll do it with someone with a drinking problem (DH and I like a drop, so do all our friends; I'm not judging, but by anyone's standards, this is excessive), then you've got a lifetime of issued ahead.

You have to think about the realities of having a baby with a man who drinks this much, not just trying to have a baby with him.

I have no suggestions, as I think this is something he has to want to cut back on for himself. You can't fix it for him, no matter how much you might want to.

x-post, I'm such a slow typist.

I'd still consider having a chat with my GP. How old are you?

That's actually a very good point sodoff. What kind of father do you think he'll make? Heavy drinking and parenthood are a terrible combination.

We're both 33.

It's bull shit that being a heavy drinker makes you a crap parent.

I used to drink from Thursday to Sunday very heavy, decided ttc and stopped smoking and drinking luckily it only took 2 months.

Now adays I am tee total

His argument is he's been working on this for weeks and he's at the final stage and he's de-stressing.

I don't get your point, McHappy. Clearly you stopped drinking once you decided to become a parent?

Then of course you're not a crap parent.

What of the OP's DH doesn't stop this level of drinking? This is the whole point.

So Winkle - how common is this level of drinking now? Do you think he has an alcohol problem?

My dh never stopped drinking and he is a fantastic father

Last week he randomly met a friend from uni so had a heavy night out with him.

Yesterday we met friends at thier house and he had 4 cans of fosters.

Thurs night he had about 6 drinks at home.

And how many mums don't know they are pregnant and still go out drinking. Don't make them crap mums.

There are mums who know they are pregnant and still drink, don't make them crap mums either

I would say, with that amount of drinking going on, that conceiving a baby is the least of your worries.

How drunk does he get on a daily basis? Does he manage to keep his temper in check? Is he regularly hungover in the mornings? If he gets at all aggressive or struggles in the mornings, dealing with a newborn is going to be a nightmare.

Will you be able to rely on him to be an effective father to your child when he has such a serious drinking problem? And make no mistake, he has got a serious drinking problem.

Please don't let your desire for a baby cloud your judgement - this is a real issue. Do you really want to being an innocent baby into a house with an alcoholic?