To think this is too much alcohol for hubs when TTC?

[winkle2]

He's writing a paper for work and since 4pm he's had:

2 gin and tonics
8 bottles of carling and lime (2.8%)

And he's just gone and brought 4 cans of kronenberg.

Just feel like I'm always nagging about his drinking .

Yes he does definitely 100% want a baby.

Then when this report is handed in, that should take care of the stress and the volume of alcohol should drop considerably. If you both like a drink, he should be supporting you whilst you're off the sauce anyway. Good luck, hope you get your result. :)

If he drinks this much regularly, it's a problem for general health reasons rather than for TTC reasons.

I'm not 100% off the sauce, I've cut right back. I'm finding it hard too to be honest!

There's a lot of overreactions on this thread! My DH and I always drank way too much a fair amount before the wee one came along, and I tried to cut down a bit when ttc, but lets be honest, these things can take ages! It's not reasonable, in my view, to completely change your lifestyle in anticipation of something that may not happen for months. I took my vitamins and cut down a bit but that was it.

Obviously I hope things work out for you sooner than that OP, but I don't think freaking out about his drinking is justified. It doesn't sound like a lot to me. When you get PG it might annoy you more, it did me when DH pretty much carried on as usual, but I think it was mostly envy on my part that I had to alter my lifestyle and he didn't!

As for when the baby's here, I'm sure he'll act differently. My DH doesn't drink nearly as much and is hardly ever even tipsy these days, although it does happen! I don't really have the urge to get pissed any more if I'm honest, got out of the habit of it, and if I start to feel tipsy I don't like it much these days!

I do think all this 'staying sober at all times in case of an emergency trip to A+E is required' is a little paranoid. I'll share a bottle of wine of an evening with DH, probably not fit to drive but perfectly capable of caring for a baby. How often do babies really need to go to hospital? It's a bit paranoid if you ask me.

This is just my experience of course. I'm just saying, I went on at my DH like you are, and I really needn't have worried.

Thanks nightowl :)

He apologised this morning for drinking too much and I said sorry for nagging :/

I used to have a drink every evening. Or two. Ish. My DH doesn't drink at all and he used to nag tons.

Randomly, I went from feeling like I needed a drink to calm my nerves to just not wanting a drink. About two weeks ago?

It's weird now because I want fruit juice instead. I used to walk home from work and find a million reasons to have a drink - good reasons and bad reasons. They became my outlet when I was frustrated.

The thing with drinking is that mostly, the drinker needs to want to stop. Same as smoking. Nagging only makes them feel bad about a situation that they more likely feel negative about but that they don't feel they can change.

I think under-reaction, rather than over-reaction, is usually the most common reaction to problem drinking.

I've heard 2 really good definitions of alcoholism:

When you prioritise drinking over other stuff in your life that is more important to you
When you allow it to adversely affect your finances, your family life, your work or your relationships.

Pretty good working definitions I think. This bloke's drinking adversely affects his relationship. Doesn't mean he's an alcoholic, but most certainly means there's a problem tht needs to be dealt with.

OP, you do not need to go to your GP (I know it was other posters suggesting this, not you). You have only been TTC since Jan-Feb and it's mid-May. It is perfectly normal not to have conceived yet but you have an 85% chance of conceiving within a year (unless you're older) so there is no need to panic. "See your GP" is the Mumsnetters' answer to everything. Then they come on MN to bitch about being unable to being unable to get a GP appointment...

Your DH, on the other hand, may need to see his GP. Depending on the size of the G&Ts, he'll have had about 20 units of alcohol yesterday and that was on a normal day while working. If he does that on a regular basis, he is at serious risk of liver damage, whether or not he is dependent on alcohol. He needs to cut down but, if he drinks daily, it is dangerous just to stop - he needs help cutting down safely.

Thanks all.

He never drinks every day. He never has in the 9 years I've been with him. It's generally 2-3 times a week, more 2 times a week recently.

We've talked more today and he said he thinks he is still drinking too much and he's going to cut back even further.

It's worth remembering that it takes around 75 days to make sperm, so any dietary changes will take at least this long before they have any effect on sperm quality.

I'm glad he is listening to you now, OP, and has agreed to cut back on his drinking. I was going to add last night that by refusing to cut back, he had effectively already chosen alcohol over both you and your child-to-be. But hopefully that's not the case.