To think people who say that they wouldn't have children if they couldn't afford to educate them privately are ...

[seeker]

.....bonkers?

And before anyone says that nobody has ever said that, there have been plenty of threads on here with people saying they stopped at one, or advising people not to have a 3rd because they can't afford private school for more. So presumably they wouldn't have had any if they could not send them to private school.

YABU - different people have different ideas of what the standard of living they want for their DCs and therefore have different minimum levels of income they consider acceptable.

Personally I've read threads on here of people who are living in what I would consider boarderline poverty because they have to make their income spread for more DCs than they could afford - but if they'd stuck at one or two DCs would have a good standard of living.

BTW - i'm of the opinion when it comes to private schooling, you do it for all or none of your DCs, we could afford 2DCs at private, but not 3, if we make the decision to go private for DS (probably won't, but need to make the choice soon as he's 2) that will make the decision to go for no more than 2DCs.

Yes perplexedprivate. Ppl who send their kids to private school are selfish and narrow minded. Private schools are a big part of the reason we have millions of sick ppl who can't get enough medical attention, housing etc and a few people who live the high life at their expense.

i agree with the people are bonkers comment

it's probably a very british way of looking at life. hopefully will change eventually

I'd consider private school if I won the lottery, although I'm not sure it would be worth uprooting children if they were happy and settled at their existing school. There is no guarantee that anyone will be happier or more successful just because they went to a private school.

I can understand people who are very wealthy choosing to go private, but I do think it very strange when people who really can't afford it choose it, when there's every chance their dc would be perfectly happy and do well t. Tate school.

seeker - you are really very silly. You have an absolute obsession with private education that only demonstrates the massive chip on your shoulder about not actually being able to afford it yourself.

People paying private school fees are the reason sick people don't get the treatment they need? Are you quite mad?

Private schools may well be part of the problem but if you can't beat em join em, I didn't make the rules but I'll play the game if I have to.

Krumblebum.
I went to state school and I sent my dc to state school. Both were shit in my experience. If I have the money and chose to do so I have the right to send my children to a school I prefer. If that means going private and upsetting your higher moral authority, tough. Come and walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me.

Krumbum, actually no, I'm speechless.

I'm one of those people.

DH and I know what we want for our children, and what we can afford. We can afford to comfortably privately educate 2 kids. Three and it starts to get noticeable, especially if we went down to one or no salary for any length of time. It is about balance. It is one of the reasons, not the only one, that we've not had a 3rd DC.

I'm also a believer in "if you can't feed 'em, don't fecking breed 'em". So shoot me.

Oooh, now I'm enlightened krumbum, I seeee! Well I never knew that before, shows how selfish and narrow minded I am.

Well for a lot of people the number of children they have is planned carefully taking into account how many they can afford.

For some of us education fits into those figures and for others its ponies/music lessons/buying a first car/deposit on house etc.

And I think money does become a big issue when going from 2 to 3 dc's as often necessitates bigger car/house etc and obviously private school fees are pretty expensive.

I only have one child and have decided not to have more. My DS will go to private school and that was one of the factors in stopping at one. Seeker if you don't like, can't get it, thinks it's wrong or selfish or anything else then have .

No noqontrol mate I don't want their money. I'm not very poor I just care about people that are. Id rather they spent on literally anything else that doesn't mean their kids have an unfair advantage in life.

"seeker - you are really very silly. You have an absolute obsession with private education that only demonstrates the massive chip on your shoulder about not actually being able to afford it yourself"

I hope you are very certain of that position, Bonsoir .

Did you know that there are many people who are ideologically opposed to private education who could easily afford it? Can you imagine that?

Krum - i understand why you think it's selfish, but so is moving to be close to a good school and bumping up the prices in that area, so is going to church when you have no faith in order to play the system to try to get into a faith school. I understand there's a lot to be said for wealthy, bright parents sending their DCs to sink schools to raise the standards, but I'm selfish when it comes to DS, I won't sacrifice his education (and therefore life chances) to slightly improve someone else's.

I might not send DS to a private school, but I'll only do that if he gets into a good state one. I can afford to not put up with a shit one, sorry for those who can't but not going to make DS do without in order to sympathise.

Private school is hardly a guarantee of anything, is it? In my close circle of friends' children I could name four young people who went to private school. All are now in their early to mid twenties. All went to old polytechnics to do slightly silly degrees - things that end in the word 'studies'.

One works behind the till of a high street shop.

One works in a call centre.

One is on the dole and does a lot of coke.

One is a bit of a mystery, but seems to be wholly supported by his parents, applies for a lot of courses but never actually does anything.

I could name loads who went state, and are / have been at RG unis and oxbridge, and are working in good professions.

"Can you imagine the uproar if we bashed you for sending your kids to a state school."

"AIBU to think that someone who can afford to send their DC to independent school but who refuses to because of their political and social ideology is depriving their child and therefore selfish for sacrificing their child's education on the altar of their misguided principles?"

Yeah, I can see that going down really well. How long would it take for the OP of that one to be told to mind her own goddamned business and to be asked wtf someone else's choices have to do with her?

I'm not daring to try it!

But if you feed them decent food they have an advantage, if you vaccinate them they have an advantage, if you put a roof over their heads they have an advantage .........

Life is full of unfair advantages. It's not fair that there are children a couple of miles down the road with feckless drug takers for parents whilst my children are loved and cherished. Shall I start injecting smack to make it fairer?

Are people really this thick?

So why do people paying private school fees mean sick people don't get what they need krumbum?

Idealogically, I'd love there to be a non-faith, state school within my catchement area which has a fabulous academic record and comprehensive programme of extra-curricular activities.

I can't think of a single couple that refuse to have children because they can't privately educate any of them.

I doubt anyone can.