To think people who say that they wouldn't have children if they couldn't afford to educate them privately are ...

[seeker]

.....bonkers?

And before anyone says that nobody has ever said that, there have been plenty of threads on here with people saying they stopped at one, or advising people not to have a 3rd because they can't afford private school for more. So presumably they wouldn't have had any if they could not send them to private school.

Well, at the moment, I wouldn't have a child unless I could homeschool it. Going one step further, and I'm quite sane today.
If you've been in a state school at all for the last 20 years and/or taken one of their exams at any point, I'm amazed you'd want your precious child to go there.

Some people would love a child and it would be loved and they decide not to have one because the world is rotting. I understand these people very well.

I've been to one, worked in one and got children in two of them! Maybe my children aren't very precious to me after all

Now that's the sort of attitude I have a beef with.

Keep on keeping on, seeker.

They're precious to you, but you've also got someone amazed at your attitude, that's all :) how much do you think a child would change if they came to a state school from a really good private school?

TOSN - I also have a beef with that attitude and my children are in private schools. I don't for one minute assume that I am a better, more sanctified form of parent just because I can afford to pay for my children's education.

There are some excellent state schools in this country, unfortunately we don't live near them. There are hardworking committed parents in all schools, being wealthy enough to afford private schools doesn't mean that you care more for your children just that you have more options available to you.

What are you amazed about? What harm do you think I'm doing my children, exactly?

'how much do I think a child would change'? What sort of change are you talking about?

"What sort of change are you talking about" well, that's what I'm asking you!

I'm not being aggressive- you're being v. peremptory. I'm not going start saying "oh, you're doing your child this and this and that harm", because that won't lead to anything interesting, just people getting more annoyed. Yes, I do think state schools do children harm, and they also fall short of the mark in many ways. Couldn't you entertain the possibility that the school your children are in is far from perfect- wouldn't you want your child to go to a place as close to perfect as you could find?

"Just because you've only started two threads doesn't mean you don't add to the other millons of others cos I know you do."

I know. I said so. But somebody just said I started countless threads......I think I must be getting credit that actually belongs to other right thinking mumsnetters!

Ok Quirrel, I was just hoping you could clarify the question a little bit. I suspect the child in question would probably de-plum his accent a bit, since children are chameleonic in many ways, and I suspect he'd find a lot of things very different and some less different than he'd imagined they might be, and I'd like to think that he'd be a bit more aware of how most people live their lives at the end of it.

I do indeed entertain the possibility that my children's schools aren't perfect - neither are their parents, neither is their house, neither is anything. I'm ok with it, and I do not think they are being damaged. Neither do I think that your 'amazement' that perfectly normal people send perfectly normal children to perfectly normal schools is really justified.

Personally I'd be interested to hear that opinion!

Why on earth should anyone respect another's views? Respect their right to hold them, yes.

Well I've already got one profession of 'amazement' that I'm doing what the 60 other parents of children in dd2's year 6 class are doing and sending her to the local comprehensive.... I'm not too sure what anyone could say about my doing that that would be hurtful or fair, but it's interesting to speculate!

But fair enough, I'm neither mad nor brave enough to say everything I think either! .

I know a girl who came from a public school to my state school. At the beginning she was different, outspoken, she knew a lot, more than any of us and (she still knew more in Y12, solid things like grammar and Maths). But at the end of the year she was hiding it all, adopted the same mannerisms as everyone else, lots of other things she changed, she completely blended in, it was bizarre. Most people there had the kind of intonation which sounds like there's a question mark on the end of every sentence. That's just one side of schools like mine. It didn't expect anything. You could be completely comfortable blending in because there were no consequences. People still had the expensive clothes and the Blackberrys, it's not like private schools are little airy clouds of wealth compared to the rest.

It's a very complicated issue, I don't think we can just pick out the good and bad points like that. And I think I am caught in the middle a bit....because I hear and read about what schools could be like and I feel sad that they're not like this, that's all.

And I do respect your views (for example, in answer to echt). I don't want to miss out. I respect that you probably know a lot about this that I don't, and that if so many people think the same thing there must be something to it that I'm just not getting. I don't know why some people choose one opinion or if it's a choice at all. Etc etc. Respect isn't necessarily a set in stone thing.

Remember ladies- mumsnet is like a weird parallel universe. Most children in real life are educated in state schools. The obsession with private and grammar schools is not something most people bother with in real life at all. A bright child and interested involved parents counts for a lot.

And I know a girl who went from state to private school and started adopting a sort of gravelly drawl and showing off a lot.

Pretty anecdotal though, really.

everlong, not respecting someone's views does not mean telling them what you think at all times. Just thinking they're wankers in your head works. I do it all the time. I don't respect all opinions because so many are, well, bollocks, but I don't burden such people with my views, they have enough to deal with having malfunctioning brains.

Posting the on the interweb is quite another thing; or if someone raises the issue. Then I go for it.

Yabu. You might not agree with their take on education but what does it matter if someone doesn't do something that won't affect you in any way

I used to know a woman who said she'd never get married to her partner unless she could have a £££ wedding. Afaik they never got married. Not my criteria for choosing whether or not to get married, but if that's how she saw it...

Who cares how people choose to send their money?

Quirrelquarrel- do you really think that 93% of the nations's children are being damaged by their schools?