To feel attacked>? re. To Childproof or not to Childproof.

[arrgghhhhhhh]

I was having a discussion with someone a mate, I cant fully remember how but got on to the subject of people who arent very safety concious. and how it bothers me even more now I have a child.

I spoke of an incident where a drink for my then 1 year old had a drink of his put on a high surface which I didnt know was not stable. my son had to grab the top to pull himself up to get the drink and the entire thing came off the wall and this also resulted in lighters , screws and an ashtray nearly missing his head. And that I was more in shock at the very near accident then the mess it had made.
I got a tirade of 'you shouldnt expect people to change their houses for you? you need to teach them not to touch?' its their house??

AIBU? to feel a bit attacked I wasnt complaining about the persons house just the lack of basic safety ? I'm very confused. this person does not have kids If thats any relevance.

A radiator cover isn't for security purposes. It for decorative purposes. Like an ornament.

It was a radiator cover.

My parents have them.

They sit IN FRONT of the radiator.

None of theirs are attached to the wall, and if they were it'd only be with those teeny screws at the side and they certainly wouldn't stand up to a Chris Bonnington toddler.

I hate going to other people's homes with DD when they have no children. They are stuffed full of beautiful, delicate ornaments, artfully placed on low tables, coffee cups on the floor by sofas, uncovered plug sockets, unstable bookshelves perfect for climbing etc. Just like my house used to be. It is exhausting and I find that I cannot relax and enjoy myself. So, unless the occasion is important, or I am feeling particularly energetic, I often don't go. It's no-one's fault, it's just How Things Are. I am a stressy person, I cannot help that.

The exception is if I stay somewhere for several days, in which case I diplomatically ask the hosts if I can move this or that smashable/dangerous thing higher up as I'd hate to see it get damaged.

I am a grown up. And none of my children have ever been hurt by our unsecured-to-the-wall furniture. Do you want to know why?

Because you keep them chained up in the cupboard under the stairs?

"I move dangerous things because its common sense I have noticed alot of people arent brought up the same way which isnt right but I cant expect it to change I suppose"

"Dangerous things" like an, er, radiator cover, OP?

Obviously the majority of people on this thread lack common sense. That is clearly what is going on here. It's definitely not the case that you were in the wrong for not watching your child adequately.

CallMeAl - You gaffer tape them to the floor?

Oh God.

My mum and dad have radiator covers.

And they've had kids.

And there's ashtrays.

How did we all survive?

And were you at my parent's house?

One under the stairs, one taped to the floor, but the other one...well we don't encourage him to swing off other peoples flimsy furniture by enticing him with drinks.

Al, do you make your children live inside one of those zorbing balls? Do they not get stuck in the door frames?

you know I'm taking notes here, right?

Gaffer tape's great but stapling to the dog is cheaper and more effective.

So you noticed the screws and ashtray and dangerous stuff and didn't move them out of reach?

Or you didn't notice them then were equally responsible should your child pull ten on himself or eat one or anything like that

As a parent this is your responsibility. If you didn't notice the potential hazard then you can be sure they never thought of it either

Radiator covers do pretty much the same job as a fireguard - I'd not let a 1 yr old pull themselves up with one of them either, or a cupboard lock, or a pond net - but they're all safety features as well.

Your safety standards are higher than other peoples but this happened and you allowed screws and ashtrays around in reach of your toddler who pulls himself up on things?

Really good safety there lol

I put live electrics around mine. After a couple of zaps he hasn't made the same mistake again. Could your friend do this? It could save a lot of arguments.

Pickles - that's a great idea

I think YABU. You can't expect people with out kids to make their house child friendly. It wouldn't have even dawned on me to do that pre children. If the home they live in is an adult only home why does it have to be child friendly? I think the responsibility is down to you to keep a close eye on your child at all times in that type of environment. Sorry.

OP, YABU. When visiting my childfree brother and sister-in-law in their recently purchased home, DS pulled a cast iron radiator off a wall on to himself, by leaning on it to look out of a window. He wasn't as lucky as your DS, and did need a trip to A&E to confirm that his leg (luckily) was only badly bruised.

Did I berate my DB and SIL for not childproofing prior to our visit? No, I berated myself for not watching what he was doing in a house we didn't know. And learned to be more careful when visiting other people's houses. And offered to pay for the damage that he did to DB and SIL's wall and floor.

If I was you, I'd be grateful that DS wasn't injured, and reminding myself exactly whose responsibility he is.

An ashtray just missed his head, could have very easily killed him

Really? A big bump maybe and a shock, but kill him?

I think YABU - you need to watch kids like hawks when they aren't in their own surroundings.

Have you never seen eastenders? Ashtrays are deadly weapons lol

You're not a bad parent but you are being precious and unreasonable. So, your friend encouraged him to get the drink? Even so, you should have stepped in and ensured it was stable enough for your son to pull himself up on. You know your son, so you must know he pulls himself up like that. Perhaps your friend expected him to reach up and didn't know what he was going to do. Sorry but YABU.

What are you going to do when he starts school? Go round the classroom every day doing a safety audit? Dangerous pile of books which might fall. Other children running around who might bump into him. Interactive whiteboard which might strain his eyes. Smelly toilets might damage his nose.

Life is full of potential risks, your son will need to learn how to cope with these. Relax and stop seeing accidents waiting to happen, often the risks are actually really minute.

And what kind of ashtray was it that could nearly kill a child?

You do realise that everywhere you there will be hazards?
When you get on the bus someone might sit next to you with a bit sharp pointy thing in their hand and it will entirely down to you to stop your child impaling themeselves.
Cars are also very dangerous if the come into contact with a child. You will need to make sure your child doesn't come into contact with one ....you.
Can you see where I am going with this?
Your child is your responsibility and you cannot assume others will be thinking of their safety at all times. They will assume YOU will be doing that.