To feel attacked>? re. To Childproof or not to Childproof.

[arrgghhhhhhh]

I was having a discussion with someone a mate, I cant fully remember how but got on to the subject of people who arent very safety concious. and how it bothers me even more now I have a child.

I spoke of an incident where a drink for my then 1 year old had a drink of his put on a high surface which I didnt know was not stable. my son had to grab the top to pull himself up to get the drink and the entire thing came off the wall and this also resulted in lighters , screws and an ashtray nearly missing his head. And that I was more in shock at the very near accident then the mess it had made.
I got a tirade of 'you shouldnt expect people to change their houses for you? you need to teach them not to touch?' its their house??

AIBU? to feel a bit attacked I wasnt complaining about the persons house just the lack of basic safety ? I'm very confused. this person does not have kids If thats any relevance.

But you knew it wad a drink intended for your child. Did your friend rant because you kept saying if was not your fault and had no responsibility in the situation at all.

When you're in someone else's house, your DC is YOUR responsibility, not theirs. Sorry; YABU

Eurochick_ It was not attached to the wall at all hence the danger.

I sense alot of people on here are not listening I have clarifed my post twice now.

it wasnt a climb just a reach.

Eh? They didn't leave a lighter around. They left it on what you describe yourself as a high surface.

Well I at least have been reading carefully. It doesn't make any difference whether it was a reach or a climb; it's someone else's house, and they don't have to child proof for you. If they don't have children of their own they will have no idea, and some people's ideas of safety are different from yours. Your child, your responsibility.

OP I think you're being ridiculous.

Just because you have children doesn't mean you can dictate what others do in their own house.

In fact next time you drop by any of your friends homes, take a tool belt with you just incase you have to secure any more furniture

Why is it my fault though? I would have put it on the coffee table I would leave screw and lighters around any child surely its just basic common sense.
I always put it on the coffee table now, there are times when it is still put there and I have to move it.
there are other smaller incidents but the general gist was people who arent safety concious.
I am safety concious.

My DC are old enough that my house isn't toddler friendly at all, I'd move obvious things like scissors off the coffee table but that's about it tbh...

If my lighter was above toddler reach I'd expect the parent to stop the child getting it, I'd also expect then to stop them from pulling things off my bookcase, shoving things in my DVD player and getting my cat bowls - they're all things I wouldn't have in the places they are if I had a toddler, but I don't, and no I wouldn't move any of them for a visitor.

yabu, it's not other people's responsibility to change their homes for you. We're only starting to move things around now because a certain little person seems fascinated with everything potentially dangerous to her, we would never have thought of these things before she started messing with them and I'm sure there is lots more which we haven't yet foreseen. It's unfair to expect people to know what your child is going to pull down when he goes into their home.

I keep mine in my arms in certain homes because their floor is dirty and she licks everything or they'll have small objects lying around and she puts everything into her mouth or they'll have stuff lying around that she'll pull over herself. It's my responsibility to see the dangers and keep her from harming herself, not the host's.

How can you expect your host (who probably doesn't have small children) to know what will be dangerous to your child when you don't even notice yourself? In most homes you will have to supervise your child more than you will have to in your own childproofed home. What is wrong with that?

You're not going to accept it are you op. Your child: your responsibility.

I'm not trying to dictate at all but putting a child in a dangerous situation is wrong , the persons house I was in did have kids the person I was talking to didn't.

I'm always on my feet to make sure he doesnt go for ornaments etc.

you are being unreasonable to expect other people to change their houses to accomodate your child. I am pretty sure that many of my friends with children see my house as a deathtrap (despite me having a 17 month old) but when they come to my house I expect them to kep an eye on their own children.

so, you would have put it on the coffee table would you?

Maybe you should have moved it then?

The screw and lighters were probably there since the previous evening or had been lying around for days.

Or do you expect people to sweep the room of all possible dangers within minutes of your arrival?

Like I said before YOU need to take responsibility for the dangers surrounding your child. No one else will because they will quite rightly assume that you're 'on it'

I wouldn't put lighters etc away if a 1 yr old was visiting. I would move hardly any stuff unless they were staying over and even then it would be more stuff they could pull down and break or hurt themselves with.

I've had my friend's (then) 1 year old around when we have had things like tablecloths on tables that she could grab. There were probably lighters and candles at an easy reach and it didn't occur to me to move them (even though I have kids)

I expected my friend to act as a moveable baby gate. The baby mainly was interested in the remote controls, pots and pans and cardboard boxes I provided for her to play with though.

Why were you letting your son use a shelf to pull himself up to stand?

I'm not trying to dictate at all but putting a child in a dangerous situation is wrong

You put him in that situation. You took him to someone else's house and didn't supervise him enough to stop him. You. Nobody else.

I was wondering where the screws came from that you mentioned in your OP as that was not clear and thought the cover had been loosely screwed in but not secured, but from your 16.02 post it sounds like they might have been sitting on top instead? You are not being very clear.

In any event, it was up to you to watch your child and pass them the drink rather than letting them pull on someone else's furniture.

Ah I give up,

If my comment had been my child ran up pulled ornament off a surface and broke them all I would offer to replace them.

but thats not the case.

the screws were loose on top, it wasnt a massive reach my child simply pulled himself up slightly to reach a drink, had the cover been safely attached it wouldnt have been an issue whatsoever.

I'm sorry I don't understand your last point.

not exactly mortal peril anyway...whats the worst that could have happened, a small bump on the head.

PFB I'm guessing? and how

An ashtray could have easily killed a child that young.

OP I think you are being precious and U. It's someone elses house, you have responsibility for your own child. You child was climbing, pulling themselves up on someone else's furniture and you complain it fell over bringing the contents down and narrowly missing your child. Take responsibility and ensure that anything your child touches is safe, if it's not, don't let them touch it. It's not your house.

I suspect that the reaction you got from the home owner was somewhat brought on by your own reaction.

TheUnMember said what I was just thinking.

an ashtray nearly missing his head