AIBU to have given up on this friend?

[PurpleSequinSparkles]

I'm not a mother, but the friend I'm describing has told me several times to ask other mothers to help me understand what she's going through. So I hope you can advise.

My friend has been a friend for over 15 years and help me a lot through personal issues of mine and she used to be the most fantastic supportive person. Five years ago she got married, had two little boys and was diagnosed with cancer. She became very angry and wouldn't talk to me about it, and when she did she was always very shouty at me, as though it was my fault she was ill.

She's always had me to stay for Christmas and Easter and my birthdays but last birthday she was very unpleasant to me when I came - she said she was very tired and in a lot of pain, but it massively upset me.

I rang her a few weeks later to ask her if I could come and stay again, and she told me that she was about to have more surgery (I don't know what - she hasn't told me) and that I could come and stay only if I was prepared to do all the housework. I told her that I didn't want to because I don't like her anger and because she never does anything for me. She shouted at me that I was being selfish.

So after my friend had had the surgery I told her that I don't want to know her any more. She said she doesn't want to discuss it until she's feeling better.

AIBU to have given up on her?

Is she BU to refuse to discuss it until she feels better?

really. You both sound as bad as each other

Is this a reverse AIBU because otherwise you have to be kidding don't you? Your friend is ill with a potentially lethal disease and you are having a go at her because she won't let you come and stay while she waits on you hand and foot. I think if it's not a reverse AIBU then you are being VVVVVUR

What funny said.

TBH, I do think you sound U and too much like my SiL.
She is sick, she did say you could come and stay if you did the housework. If you are the good friend you say you are, you would go and help. her.

What headfairy said

I thought reverse AIBU too, there is something not right about this

But, taking it at face value, YABVU and selfish. All you can talk about is what this woman does or doesn't do for you. Have you ever done anything for her?

YABU. Your friend is in a very bad place and you should be supporting her. You sound very selfish IMO.

Is this real?. She has cancer,has had surgery and you're pissed off that she won't accommodate you?.

As part of your stay why haven't you jumped to offer the following assistance to your "friend".

1/ Do all the housework AND cooking?
2/ Entertain her 2 kids by perhaps taking them out for a day trip somewhere

If you really are "friends" and she's not just somewhere convenient to crash cos you are too tight to pay for a BB, why aren't you offering to help out? (As opposed to having to be asked? She's not well enough to wait on you hand and foot!)

She's ill, worried, tired and perhaps a little scared. It isn't about YOU OP.

YABU. Grow up.

Surely a true friend would have asked to come and stay to help out, clean the house and look after a sick friend, not get pissed off when she's asked to give something in return.

I think your friend is probably better off without such a PITA as you. Assuming this is real of course.

I too hope this is a reverse post.

Your friend has a husband and kids, a busy family life, and has put you up over xmases and easters allowing you to be a guest in her home with her family. She has been diagnosed with cancer and is angry about it (who wouldn't be!).

You stayed while she was ill and she was tired. You then asked to stay again and she pointed out she is ill and said if you were staying she would want a hand around the house, you then said you didn't want to stay as she wouldn't be doing anything for you!?

Wow! Maybe she is angry at having such a shitty friend as well as having cancer when she has two little kids.

This is a reverse, it has to be.

Surely this is a wind up or reverse. On the off-chance it isn't, you have a lot of thinking to do about your attitude, which stinks, frankly. Your poor, poor friend.

Either this is reverse, or coincidentally the "friend" has posted the other side of this before, I remember reading it.

YANBU to give up on this woman as you are no friend to her.

I agree it's got to be a reverse AIBU.

Yabu!
Grow up

Yes, I also remember the other side of this story recently.

I'm glad you are not my 'friend' tbh, you sound like hard work and very selfish

If this Is a reverse AIBU then yabu for not telling us the truth in the first place.

You should jolly well feel thoroughly ashamed of yourself, if this is a genuine aibu. Your poor friend, she must feel so let down by you. try and make amends by getting yourself up there ,doing the housework, cooking for her and family, take treats for her and the little boys and if you are, tell her you are so sorry for being such a selfish cow!!! ...........though she may be better off without you as a so called friend.

If this is a reverse AIBU, can you PLEASE repost from your OWN perspective rather than try to illicit a hole host of responses for a Fake scenario?

Post as yourself please.

If this is not a reverse aibu, and you are indeed honesty incarnated in your Opening Post, then I think your friend has had a lucky escape from your friendship. She is not unreasonable. And you are a selfish cow.

beggars belief! are you for real? is this a wind up?

troll?