to not date a Tory?

[bejeezus]

Well...actually I dont care if IABU or not, I just couldnt do it.

What I really want to ask you; if you have Labour/left wing politics could you/would you/are you marry/ have a life partner who has Conservative/right wing politics?

And vice-versa of course?

Political viewpoints aren't just about what box you tend to tick every 4-5 years. People keep that to themselves easily, but I can't imagine being happy while keeping quiet about the whole of it, during my home life, for fifty plus years.

An ordinary human interest news item can elicit quite different responses, "from she needs to sort herself out" to "someone should be helping her"

YANBU - While I am conservative I am no fan of the Conservative Party. I dated a Tory boy and he dumped me because my father operated his business in Sweden and he said it would affect his career in politics. I said he should speak to my father and get some ideas on why he operated his business in Sweden and see if those can be introduced to the UK (low corporate tax rate, highly educated workforce and little red tape).

I avoided all boys who were into politics from that point forward and turned a guy down because he didn't vote and didn't see the big deal. My grandfather didn't get sunk 3 times on a ship for some pretentious git to think voting is not important.

Josephine depends what you are discussing surely

....plus political beliefs really change as you get older.

I was always a leftie, CND, up the workers type - now I'm a frothing-at-the-mouth Tory

Exactly bigjessie

....plus political beliefs really change as you get older

There is nothing so conservative as an ageing radical, as they say :-)

I am amazed at how rightwing some of my old left wing friends from Uni are now they have the House in a leafy suburb, German Car and Perfect Offspring :-)

Whatmeworry... Never! The Zodiac is sacrosanct! Even as a sceptical Aquarian, I know this to be true.

poppywearer... there's always ONE! You should be in for a treat when your husband retires if you give him some nice challenging - and time measurable - tasks to perform.

I've come to the conclusion that, as a people, we love to analyse other people and put them in their respective 'boxes' with the appropriate 'labels'. Whether we're right or wrong in that packaging activity doesn't seem to matter a jot. However, we don't much like the same thing applied to US... it's very, very odd.

I will not be boxed or labeled. So there!

bigjessie what I do is avoid watching the news together as much as possible. I read my news online. But that's because we have two young DCs and I just lack the energy to have a political argument at the moment.

To make it more interesting, Tory-voting DH studied Politics and I studied History. So he talks about current policies...and then I remind him of how the Tories stuffed everything up in the 80s.

And then I remind him that I have a degree from one of the top universities in the world, and that his is from a red-brick university.

And equilibrium is restored!

The Tories didn't stuff everything up in the 80s though. They did what had to be done. Do you really think we could have kept on subsidising failing industries, and that we would still be paying crazy wages for people to make cars that nobody wanted to buy, and coal that could be bought far more cheaply elsewhere? The world changed. This country had to change, because it couldn't afford to keep spending money to artificially keep things the same.

It's like astrology really. I can be nice about it to friends and family, and change the subject, and all that, but I couldn't cope with perpetual horoscopes being applied to our lives by my husband. I'd have to leave the bastard!

Better a Tory than a so called new labour. At least you know where you stand with Tories, whereas Labour preaches one thing while sending kids to private schools dodging tax and sipping champers...what a bunch of wanky two faced toads...

Glad to say my parents have stayed very left wing into their 60's/70's - so not everyone goes to the right!

My dad was so proud that I went on the Stop the War march back in 2003 & said he wished he'd gone on it himself. My mum marched in support of the miners back in the day and is now an environmental campaigner & chair of a wildlife charity.

DH does keep his mouth shut when visiting my folks: they don't know he secretly likes Top Gear & the Grand Prix, let alone votes Tory...

I've never asked DH how he votes because voting is absolutely a private Personal decision. However I knew when we got together we had the same basic morals. Over time (and many discussions) it's obvious I'm more left-wing than DH if I had to say what he voted then I'd say liberal. But just as I wouldn't tolerate DH telling me how to vote I wouldn't expect to influence his voting.

We do have pretty healthy debates and some topics we've agreed to just not discuss any more but on matters such as equality, the welfare system etc we agree and I'm ok with that

the irony here is that at a time when there is little difference in the substance offered by the two main parties, people still think that there is.

and the folks in the houses of parliament have really good friends on the opposite benches.

i think you can go out with who the hell you want, but i think making simple sweeping judgements about the opinions and motivations of large swathes of the population makes you look close minded.

OP, YANBU.

But I've noticed Conservatives tend to be better looking.

Their suits are sharper, and they seem to be richer tend to flash their money more.

Just saying.

And I do like a chap in a sharp suit.

Lynette Yes, but so many professional politicians are lying bastards!

Check his expenses account records first!

The Tories didn't stuff everything up in the 80s though. They did what had to be done. Do you really think we could have kept on subsidising failing industries, and that we would still be paying crazy wages for people to make cars that nobody wanted to buy, and coal that could be bought far more cheaply elsewhere? The world changed. This country had to change, because it couldn't afford to keep spending money to artificially keep things the same

Josephine For the sake of arguement, say this is fact; what about the workers left without jobs?-not just a handful; whole communities; huge swathes of the country. Is it OK to vilify them because their way of supporting their families no longer exists? Call them scrounging scum and take away their benefits?

There was no consideration for these people when those decisions were made. They dont matter. You can be damn straight it wouldnt have been 'unavoidable changes' if the middle/upper classes were the ones who would be affected

What a very civilised way to deal with things, Chrysanthemum. I now have a lovely picture of you and your dh sitting round, sipping G&Ts, reading the papers and agreeing to disagree on all the issues of the day.

i think i agree with everything mrs bethel has said.

take a look at the political compass

and see where you really sit!

Josephine yes, speak, write whatever, it soon becomes apparent if someone has views and values I would find abhorrent.

I've genuinely never met a heterosexual Tory voter. I've only met about three though.

bejeezus good job that period was followed by 13 years of labour government during which they could right those wrongs and get the country back on track

I think this is why despite being broadly left-wing I could never vote labour, they spent 13 years in power blaming the Tories for all the bad things, totally fucked the economy by basing growth around unsustainable government and consumer debt. Got voted out and then suddenly everything is the Tories fault again because they're in charge again even if it has only been for 10 minutes.

Don't get me wrong I think the Tories are clearly wrong about many things but generally find New Labour the more odious option, because they pretend to be socialised whereas they are clearly just tories in disguise.

jenny i once had a boyfriend who maintained that more Southern men were gay than Northern ones.

Are you he?

There was no consideration for these people when those decisions were made. They dont matter. You can be damn straight it wouldnt have been 'unavoidable changes' if the middle/upper classes were the ones who would be affected
Exactly what "considerations" could have been made? I live in a former mining/industrial area (Chesterfield) and plenty of people that did lose their jobs in the early 80s moved on with their lives. My dad was one of them. But he realised before that that the way things were were unsustainable, earning £500 a week for working down a mine. He and my mum planned for this, bought their house while it was cheap and payed off the mortgage withing a few years. Plenty of other people spent their wages on beer and holidays, thinking it would last forever. Then when the mines and factories closed, turned their noses up and jobs paying considerably less than they had been earning, and chose to remain on benefits, thinking they were spiting the Tories by doing so.