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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to Word the Invitations Thus.... (Children-at-Wedding Related)

98 replies

ViviPru · 10/05/2012 08:19

Woohoo! My first My-Wedding-Related AIBU.

So what would you make of an all-day wedding invitation you received which read:

Children

Due to capacity restrictions in the barn, we are regretfully unable to accommodate all of our friends' children at our wedding (other than babes-in-arms.) Please note, our nieces, nephews and godchildren will be attending.

We have not planned for additional guests to join us for an evening reception per-se, however if it better suits your childcare arrangements, you are welcome to join us instead from 8pm for cheese and revelry. If this would work for you, please let us know in your RSVP.

(NB, none of our friends have or are due a babe-in-arms as well as another child so we wouldn't be splitting any siblings)

OP posts:
lumbago · 10/05/2012 08:22

Fine

Callisto · 10/05/2012 08:22

I wouldn't get upset at the invite, sounds reasonable. I probably wouldn't come to the wedding though.

FriedSprout · 10/05/2012 08:22

Think it may read as children ARE welcome to the evening do

lumbago · 10/05/2012 08:23

Oh. Yes. Aren't they ?
I'd leave the last bit off. Just write it in the relevant cards. Or ring

lumbago · 10/05/2012 08:23

I went to a wedding without kids recently. Wouldn't have taken ours tbh but it was VERY VERY WEIRD

madmouse · 10/05/2012 08:24

Well if anyone dares take issue after you putting so much thought and flexibility into it scrap them off your list. Have a fab wedding.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 10/05/2012 08:24

I wouldn't make anything of it. I'd get on the phone to my Mum and ask her to have my dc that weekend.

CherryBlossom27 · 10/05/2012 08:24

Yes it reads as though children are welcome at the evening do, not sure if you meant that or not? Otherwise I think it's well worded and I can't imagine someone taking offence!

MardyBra · 10/05/2012 08:25

Small pedant point here. I'd knock out the per-se. Sounds poncey and doesn't need a hyphen anyway.

Otherwise, it has been worded in a very friendly manner.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 10/05/2012 08:26

I'd say it reads as children welcome from 8 pm, too.

WipsGlitter · 10/05/2012 08:26

Friend's

I also think the last para reads as if children are welcome in the evening!

Leave out "per-se"

lumbago · 10/05/2012 08:26

Leave all the last Bit off.

lumbago · 10/05/2012 08:26

Yes. Per se naff

takingiteasy · 10/05/2012 08:28

Sounds fine, shouldn't really need explained though as if their LO's names aren't on the invite it's pretty obvious they aren't invited. Or so I thought until I started reading forums and hearing people would 'just take them anyway' and threads where people have had guests turn up with their precious bundles.

I agree though the second part sounds like kids are ok to come at night.

I think it's perfectly acceptable not to invite every child of evey guest but have family children there. Numbers would snowball! I've never understood people's problem with this to be honest. Wedding with DS's in tow - hard work and nerve wracking. Wedding without DS's piss up Great fun for all!

strawberrypenguin · 10/05/2012 08:29

It does sound like children are welcome at the evening do, you might need to re word the second paragraph a little. Sounds fine though if I received this I wouldn't be offended and would understand your reasoning :)

Original poster
ViviPru · 10/05/2012 08:30

Thanks, madmouse and others - I was hoping it would come across that way.

Friedsprout thanks for that observation. It would be fine to bring children to the evening, I just guess that because our friends' kids are under 6, if the couple were coming to the evening they wouldn't bring them. I will think of a way to make that part less ambiguous...

lumbago we have 9 nieces, nephews and godchildren who will all be there - I don't want a child-free wedding, but we are restricted with numbers and I think its reasonable to only have children present who we are very well-known to...

Agreed on the per se.... Grin

OP posts:
lumbago · 10/05/2012 08:31

Oh I don't give a fuck really. But it was ofd with not one kid there.

takingiteasy · 10/05/2012 08:31

Any child free wedding I've attended I've been too busy getting wrapped around a bottle of wine to notice if it was 'weird' or anything. In fact I lie, I've looked at exasperated parents and thought 'thank god I left them at home!'

lumbago · 10/05/2012 08:32

Sorry. That was mevtryingbto say "do what you like " in a relaxed way. Came out all argy bargy!!

MrsCog · 10/05/2012 08:32

Sounds fine - and I like the babes in arms clarification - i have a Ebf 9 week old who is no trouble at weddings yet but I hate having to ask!

Original poster
ViviPru · 10/05/2012 08:32

I think my concern was mentioning about the children that WILL be there, but I think it is necessary to include this in order to be completely unequivocal and avoid any confusion/ill feeling on the day... read too many threads about peoples children not being invited only to rock up at a wedding full of kids

OP posts:
Original poster
ViviPru · 10/05/2012 08:33

Grin @ lumbago

OP posts:
lumbago · 10/05/2012 08:34

Lol viv. Do
remember not everyone reads Mn!!

takingiteasy · 10/05/2012 08:34

I agree Vivi. I remember going to a cousins wedding where DS wasn't invited, which was fair enough. I was a bit Hmm when I got there and seen other kids but, as my sister very reasonably pointed out, they were her neices and nephew. Our cousin, the groom, hadn't even met our LO's at that point! I was just chuffed to be invited and fed and watered for the day :o

Hullygully · 10/05/2012 08:35

Cheese?

Cheese and revelry?

Won't there be bread and cherry tomatoes? And Branston?

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