To think I'm too old for this passive-aggressive nonsense?

[PrincessTeacake]

I've talked about this a bit on here before, so bear with me please!

I'm a sort-of unofficial mother figure for a group of girls. I joined the group because we're all into EGL fashion (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita_fashion) and I ended up taking over it to a certain degree because a) the group is mostly teenagers who have the attention span of a gnat and b) because I work in childcare and it comes naturally to me. I had been a member of another similar group where the girls were older but I found them a bit stand-offish and rude so I left for the group I'm in now.

The fashion itself has a reputation for attracting and encouraging bitchiness within the ranks, and a lot of that comes from a certain anonymous message board which can get downright cruel. I had a confrontation with the girls of the older group because two of the younger girls from my group had their pictures posted there and I suspected the other group, because none of the international girls would have really cared enough to post them, it was a clear vendetta. Although they denied it, one girl said some really nasty things about the girls posted and another insinuated that because I was having a glass of wine on a Saturday night in my own house that I was an alcoholic and shouldn't be allowed work with children.

There's been a lot of tension since, the younger girls got posted again and the older group got the blame regardless of whether they did it or not. They said a few nasty things about me personally (which, to be fair, I'm old enough to brush off) and it's out of pure jealousy that our group is bigger and more relaxed than theirs. I also really yanked their chain lately by doing a successful stand-up set in my frills (they take the fashion deadly serious). Now we're at a standstill and I do keep seeing posts on the anon message board that are clearly from them, they can't even be subtle about it.

I just feel like I'm too old for this crap. I keep an eye on things because the younger girls are still very sensitive to this kind of thing, but I never say a bad word about the older girls, partially because it does nobody any good and partially because there's one girl in the older group I like and respect a lot who has begged me to keep a lid on any drama if I can. I encourage the younger girls not to bitch about the others too and we stay active, but it feels like so much work and I'd rather just be enjoying myself. To top it all off, I've had ongoing harassment from a person with a serious mental illness and she's trying to horn in on this drama too, but that's a whole other story.

Also, the girl who is ranking up most of the drama is near enough my age, she has a mortgage and a full-time job, surely she's too old for this crap too?

Llanddudno

Bless you OP - I think you have had some astonishing comments on here and I don't understand it at all.

I have never heard of this look, and if you looked at me I would appear the definitiono of a mundane bastard, but qhatever floats peoples boats. I think the look seems very sweet.

Perhaps though you are getting hurt by all the bitchiness becaiuse you have somehow adopted this mother hen persona. These young girls I think naturallu would rebel against agny kind of organisational or planning unofficial 'leader'. It is a shame but perhaps step back from the organisational and responsible aspects for a while.

Must say I have spent ages looking all this stuff up - its fascinating! Love steampunk!

I think you need to step back a bit. If the only thing keeping the community going is you, it's not that much of a community.

I also think it's taking a lot of your emotional energy.

I see that the fashion thing is fun, just out of interest, would someone like Grayson Perry who actually dressed like an Alice in Wonderland doll come into this category?

Exit, it was the Victorian fair. Llandudno is customarily the place where rich old people go to die.

Although it does have some quite decent shops these days.

I love Llanddudno.

I want to be old and smelly and sat in one of those sort of sun rooms they have on the front of the hotels - looking out across the sea and eating a lovely cream tea.

With a tartan rug.

You hang about with kids, what do you expect?