I need perspective on this as I am really aware that I can be prickly due to issues with my own family. I just wonder whether this kind of thing would bother other normal people.
My PILs are basically nice people. But they tend to treat DH and me like children. Some of the stuff they do I consider quite patronising and bit rude and I can't help feeling pissed off, even though behind it all they're just trying to be kind, I think. For example, when they come to visit, they never tell us what time they're going to arrive. The time before last I had to ask MIL about five times when they would actually be arriving before I got a straight answer. She acted as though I was asking something a bit odd by just trying to figure out when they'd be here. This time around DH had to ask them twice and they still didn't give a specific time, just a two-hour window which meant we couldn't bring DS out for a walk in case they arrived. Do other people expect visitors to give a fairly specific ETA (I mean maybe a half hour window) or am I being a bit uptight?
We bought our house not long ago and it needs a lot of work. Anytime PILs visit MIL always tells us what work she is going to do on the house (usually something in the garden) without actually asking if we want it done. Basically she is being helpful but often she takes on massive jobs without having time to finish them so we are left with a mess in the garden which means it's not safe for our toddler to run around. BTW she usually springs her projects on us when she arrives - she comes in with armfuls of gardening tools and then just gets up and starts on it later in the day without asking and without any notion of what we might want to do. Again, it's basically helpful but I know if they're visiting I might as well write the day off as I will be stuck in with DS trying to keep him away from whatever Nanna is doing in the garden. Not my idea of fun.
MIL always either turns up with a ton of food, or ends up buying a ton of food which we end up having to throw out. This is the one that annoys me the most actually. We are grown adults capable of feeding ourselves and for providing guests with lunch and dinner. And yet she turns up with acres of food that we don't want as if the cupboards are going to be bare. One time it was a massive bag of carrots which had to be chucked eventually, last time it was a massive bag of peppers, also chucked, this time it was a massive dish of macaroni cheese which will soon be chucked. It's bizarre and, IMO, rude, to turn up with food that your hosts don't necessarily want.
So hit me with it, AIBU? Would these things annoy you or am I just a bitch? DH listens to my whining about these things with amiable good grace but I do get the sense that he thinks I'm a whingy moaner. He's used to his mother trying to control everything.