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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH has bought DS (15) an air rifle

162 replies

Fiendishlie · 06/05/2012 18:12

They went to a 'gun club' for some sort of taster session. Of course they have come home with a £140 air rifle. I am furious on so many levels; guns, money, lack of consultation (pretty sure I've said no in the past).
What should I do? I've stormed off in disgust and taken to my bed. DH will no doubt do his usual trick of turning it round so that he's angry with me for daring to be upset.

OP posts:

thekidsrule · 06/05/2012 21:57

i dont think many have a problem in a rural enviroment as there seems more a purpose

but as i keep bleeting why would you want one in a town/city at home

thirdfromleft · 06/05/2012 21:58

amillion

It's not difficult to kill yourself and/or others with any of those activities, if you do not take them extremely seriously. I would argue the potential risk of injury from scuba is higher than an air rifle, since a momentary lapse of concentration at any time could kill you (followed closely by mountain climbing).

Sallyingforth · 06/05/2012 22:01

Danger or not.
The OP was against her son having the gun. His father ignored that and spent a lot of money on one.
She is entitled to feel upset

EdlessAllenPoe · 06/05/2012 22:01

my DH is a country boy without any air rifle, i don't think everyone has one by any means....

though his folks really would have been barking if they'd considered him trustworthy at that time!

and why just boys whatme ? is it because this is actually a macho bullshit preoccupation?

thirdfromleft · 06/05/2012 22:04

I should add that I've done all these things since I was little, and would have no problem teaching them to my children when they're old enough. I want them to know what life has to offer.

Whatmeworry · 06/05/2012 22:05

and why just boys whatme ? is it because this is actually a macho bullshit preoccupation?

Its a father and son thing IMO. I don't know of many girls or women who are into shooting.

amillionyears · 06/05/2012 22:05

an air rifle can seriously harm other innocent people if not used correctly.

EdlessAllenPoe · 06/05/2012 22:07

"Its a father and son thing IMO. I don't know of many girls or women who are into shooting."

so - yes in short..

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 22:07

'is it because this is actually a macho bullshit preoccupation?'

It's the 'dads and lads' thing grovels post was talking about Edless

We can't understand it because of our mere female status.

I wonder if there's any research into how many women gun fanatics there are compared to men? (not implying there are any fanatical gun owners on the thread or anything )

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 06/05/2012 22:10

They are not toys. You need to ask your dh what has been agreed with ds and how it is to be managed. Did you say it will be kept at the club?

Ponyofdoom · 06/05/2012 22:10

I am a female and like shooting, its not just a man thing :-/

scummymummy · 06/05/2012 22:12

I wouldn't have it in the house. Can't he keep it at the gun club?

thirdfromleft · 06/05/2012 22:15

Don't understand the gender thing. If I had my way every woman in the country would get gun training. That might change a thing or two.

Whatmeworry · 06/05/2012 22:15

so - yes in short

No - I think it should be fine for there to male oriented interests without them being "bullshit macho things", and likewise female oriented interests without them being "bullshit girlie things".

And I think some interests are typically more male than female, others more female than male, but there will be exceptions and some women will like shooting.

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 22:17

I wasn't suggesting it was only a man thing Pony, I was just wondering about the numbers of male/female gun ownership in the UK and how that might show it's linked to perceptions of masculinity.

The US might be different because of the amount of people who accept gun ownership as the norm.

stealthsquiggle · 06/05/2012 22:17

I don't have an issue with guns and shooting per se - DS will probably learn to shoot at school. However, in this as with other things (tennis, cricket, archery) I would be looking for evidence that it was an ongoing thing and that he was outgrowing "shared" (school) kit (in this case, guns) before I would consider buying him his own.

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 22:19

'Don't understand the gender thing. If I had my way every woman in the country would get gun training. That might change a thing or two.'

Might change what?

Would this imagined scenario involve forcing people who think you're a muppet guns don't have a place in the wider society, to have the training?

IAmBooyhoo · 06/05/2012 22:21

have only read to the end of page 2 on this thread.

OP i think YANBU to be pissed off.

i think your DH has been unreasonable innot talking to you before doing this.

firstly £140 is a big chunk of money to be spending on a random gift that hasn't been discussed. i'm not with a partner now but when i was with exp there is no way either of us would have bough teh dcs something that expensive without consulting each other. we wouldn't even have bought necessary things costing that much (like a new washing machine for example, we would discuss how much we wanted to spend and what we were looking for and we would go together to choose it)

secondly a gun isn't a toy and it seems almost as if your DH has bought it as a toy without any thought to teh safety aspect of a gun. he may have thought about safety beforehand but how does he know that his idea of safe practise tallies with yours and teh other members of teh household? say for example he thinks it's enough that the gun is locked with one lock in your son's room with your son holding the key but you think it should be locked with two different locks in a gun cabinet with you holding one key and your dh holding the other. things like that need to be agreed upon before something with as much potential of causing injury as a gun is brought into the house.

i do think you should have had a say in thsi before it was bought.

thekidsrule · 06/05/2012 22:21

i give up

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 22:21

Maybe they could be forced at gunpoint thirdfromtheleft?

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 22:23

'i give up'

It didn't take long to convince you guns are crap and you stop using them

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 22:23

You should stop using them.

whojamaflip · 06/05/2012 22:24

just to add to the gender thing - I have had a gun license for the last 15 years and can think of at least 8 (female) friends who also have gun licenses - we all shoot during the season althought its fairly infrequently as we all have dcs. and no we aren't all wealthy!

thirdfromleft · 06/05/2012 22:32

I think you all know I was hinting at changing the power dynamic for women in threatening situations. No I am not advocating a gun in every purse. But it might make a man think twice if there could be...

IAmBooyhoo · 06/05/2012 22:36

isn't there a statistic floating about somewhere about people being hurt by their own weapons, as in an attacker turning the gun on the owner? i wouldn't feel at all safe with a gun in my purse. especially if i then let an attacker know i had it by pulling it on them.

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