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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has bought DS (15) an air rifle

162 replies

Fiendishlie · 06/05/2012 18:12

They went to a 'gun club' for some sort of taster session. Of course they have come home with a £140 air rifle. I am furious on so many levels; guns, money, lack of consultation (pretty sure I've said no in the past).
What should I do? I've stormed off in disgust and taken to my bed. DH will no doubt do his usual trick of turning it round so that he's angry with me for daring to be upset.

OP posts:
AfricanExport · 06/05/2012 19:58

lol, I slept with a real gun under my pillow when I was 18. Yup. CZ75 Parabellum - 17 rounds with one in the chamber. Yet to actually kill someone Smile

I really don't think an air rifle, bought with Dad, is a big deal at all.

EdlessAllenPoe · 06/05/2012 20:01

you don't - the OP does.

OP shouldn't have to have this under her roof if she doesn't want it.

in terms of an appropriate present for a teenager..... no!

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 20:06

You wouldn't think it's a big deal if you didn't mind sleeping with one under your pillow African.

Could you understand why someone might have reservations about them though, whatever type they are?

Or do you think they should be a normal everyday item like they were for you? (and I can't help wondering what environment you felt yourself to be in to contemplate having one under your pillow, sounds pretty scary and not one you'd want to be everyday normality for anyone)

Chubfuddler · 06/05/2012 20:06

Why does the op not wanting the air rifle in the house automatically trump the Dh wanting one? Why does she get to win?

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 20:10

Being in a relationship with someone isn't about 'winning' and 'losing' Chub.

The DH doesn't get a medal because he won and bought one behind the OPs back.

Chubfuddler · 06/05/2012 20:12

Totally missing my point and honing in on one word, which I knew someone would do as soon as I typed it.

She doesn't want the air rifle. He does. Why does he have to defer to her?

I suspect there is a town/country divide going on in this thread. As long as the rifle is properly stored there should be no problem whatsoever.

Bletchley · 06/05/2012 20:13

Men! Why on earth buy one?

DS has learnt to shoot recently, attending twice a month for training. It hasn't even crossed our minds to buy a gun.

I assume your DH already has an electric guitar and a fancy bike? Grin

EdlessAllenPoe · 06/05/2012 20:13

because there is absolutely no need to have an air rifle in the house.

None.

thekidsrule · 06/05/2012 20:13

id be the same as you op,i hate the things

air rifle , bb gun catapult,sling shot,whatever will never set foot in my house and have told my lads so and if they do will be binned or taken to police station

ive already had this with mine but this is one thing im standing firm on,mind i have no DH so no consulting on that in my case

some may think im being unreasonable but i really cant abide and think they do more harm than good

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 20:15

She wasn't even given the opportunity to agree or disagree with her DH Chub, he took the decision without her.

There's no town/country divide going on with me, I'm was brought up in a village and live in a small town now.

Chubfuddler · 06/05/2012 20:15

There's no need to have lots of things in the house. I don't need about 90% of the things in this house. I'd be very very pissed off if my husband unilaterally decided they were going in a skip because he wanted them gone.

Chubfuddler · 06/05/2012 20:16

Actually the op said she thinks she's said no in the past. So they have consulted but she thinks her word is law.

EdlessAllenPoe · 06/05/2012 20:18

It is a dangerous item, why the hell have one around if you don't have to?

Chubfuddler · 06/05/2012 20:19

It's not in the least bit dangerous properly used and properly stored.

SoupDragon · 06/05/2012 20:19

"What do you do then SoupDragon, should you find yourself pissed off with the DH? Glower at him from the other end of the settee? Bang around in the kitchen? I hardly think it's childish or immature to mumsnet from the bedroom."

I would talk to him. You know, like an adult. Of course stomping off to your bedroom to whinge on MN is behaving like a child.

SuchProspects · 06/05/2012 20:20

YANBU to be angry at the way your DH got the gun without discussing with you despite knowing your attitude about guns. I think (from the little you've said) your attitude to guns is slightly U. But we all have things that hit buttons and our partners should not ride roughshod over them if they know about them.

EdlessAllenPoe · 06/05/2012 20:22

the OP doesn't mention purchase of a lockable firearms cupboard chub

AfricanExport · 06/05/2012 20:24

I totally understand why people would have reservation about having real guns in their homes but I would not put an air rifle in the same category and I do not think that a father buying an air rifle for/with his son is a big deal. If a teenager is taught to use it properly then it should not be a problem. I would presume DH is a responsible individual or OP would not have married him and had children with him. Surely she needs to trust him a little..

AgentZigZag - growing up in Africa is an environment where people do sleep with guns under their pillows. 4 out of 5 of my siblings have been held up at gunpoint at some stage - it is a way of life. Not so much so that I did not get my kids out of there though. Smile

Original poster
Fiendishlie · 06/05/2012 20:25

I live in the country.
There is the club, where they can join. And borrow/hire guns, rifles etc. There they are stored safely.
We have electric guitars, hornby train sets, windsurfers, model airplanes, radio controlled this, that and the others. Spot on, Bletchley.
Chub, a discussion about the need for and merits of gun ownership could have gone either way. Most likely is that I would have pointed out the expensive trip to America and DH would have known damn well that now is not a good time to spend £140 on something I don't agree with.
This is why he didn't mention it, I suppose.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 06/05/2012 20:25

You've never had a situation where you're not in total control of your emotions SoupDragon?

You're missing out on the livlier side of life.

And Grin at you looking down at whinging on MN, 90% of the posts are whinging!

thekidsrule · 06/05/2012 20:26

serious ?????? apart from a rural location (yes i can see a need for a ADULT in that enviroment to have one) why the hell would you need/want a gun in the house???????????????

do young males in an inner city enviroment really shoot tin cans and apples,not from my experience they dont,ask most vets also they deal with some pretty horrible outcomes from air rifles and the like

SoupDragon · 06/05/2012 20:27

Hmm Yes, because that's what i said isn't it?

I'm not looking down on whinging on MN. Just the petulant childlike behaviour. It's exactly the same as a teen stomping off to whinge about their parents on FB or some chat thing.

SoupDragon · 06/05/2012 20:27

I"m not missing out on anything.

brdgrl · 06/05/2012 20:28

Surely the point is not whether the danger can be 'managed', or where the gun is kept, or whether it is more or less dangerous than another sort of weapon. One of the child's parents does not want her child to have a gun. That's sufficient.

The DH spent a significant amount of money on a weapon, for a child, and didn't consult the wife and mother, and does not seem to care that she feels it is an unsuitable gift.

It would not be staying in our house for one single night. I'd certainly not be entering into negotiations now about where it will be kept and how it will be used - talk about moving the goalposts. (But then, I would not have been OK with my 14-year-old going to the event in the first place.)

Original poster
Fiendishlie · 06/05/2012 20:28

SuchProspects. I am genuinely puzzled by your opinion that my attitude to guns is unreasonable. Do the majority of people in the UK actually think that guns are okay? Suitable as toys? I'm a bit Shock to be honest

OP posts:
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