to ask my mum to remove Facebook comments?

[spg1983]

Ok, my SIL is currently in labour, my DB and SIL's mum are at hospital with her. She's been in labour for about 20 hours and is absolutely exhausted (understandably!).
She originally started in the midwife-led unit but was then transferred onto the normal labour ward when things started to slow down. Anyway, she'd got to 10cm dilated and we were all following her progress on her dad'd fb profile (it is only visible to about 10 people, all friends and family so quite private and means everyone gets the same news at the same time).

However, after about half an hour, SIL's dad posts that SIL is being prepped for a C-section. He's not said why but he did say SIL is exhausted and is also v upset and feeling really bad about having to have a section :(

Everyone else is rallying around and commenting on how well she's done and giving her lots of support, apart from my mum. She has fallen out with SIL in the past and although they get on on a day-to-day basis, they're not exactly best friends. Mum is fine, but she does sometimes say things without thinking and is not good at seeing others' points of view. Anyway, mum posted something along the lines of 'oh, well at least if she's threatened with a section, it'll probably spur her into pushing properly and she'll have a natural birth'

I really don't think she's trying to be mean; she's only ever had close friends/family who've given birth naturally and probably doesn't realise just how common it is and also that a section is not because she's not trying hard enough, it's because a natural birth will be too dangerous in this case. We don't know the exact reason why she's been prepped for a section but I'm guessing it's not lack of effort with pushing!

Anyway, I'm really stressing as I know SIL will see the conversations (mum has also posted along the same lines on her page so it's not just a badly-worded one-off). SIL is really upset and disappointed to have had a section and I just don't want her to see what mum's written. AIBU to ask her to get rid of them, or am I just getting too sensitive on SIL's behalf?

frumpet I don't think iPhone was saying that. The number of c sections has increased in the UK and has not directly led to a decrease in women and children dying in childbirth. Therefore some of them must be unnecessary.

You said that scare tactics could make a mother pull herself together and go for it , as you did with both your births . However if you read the OP properly you would see that the mother wasnt choosing to have a section , she clearly hadnt said 'do you know what , im fed up with this labour malarky , please prep the first available theatre for me ', she was being prepped for a section because there was clearly the possibility of there being a medical need for it , something the Op's mother clearly wasnt taking into consideration when she was posting .
Whilst i agree that some sections may be avoidable in certain circumstances, haranging a woman for possibly having one because she is somehow lacking in the trying department is crap . Women are dying all the time due to a lack of the possibilty of a section or other medical intervention, in truly horrific circumstances .
Mother and child are as far as we aware fine , surely that is what the MIL should be concentrating on , rather than making unhelpful comments based on her limited experiences of childbirth .
I say all this as someone who had two 'normal' births and one homebirth to crash section .
And i will state again , it took me three weeks to recover fully from a crash section , about the same length of time it took me to recover from ds1's birth , where i had a large tear and needed countless stitches. My friend who had a forcep delivery wasnt back to 'normal' for nearly three years . I had no 'choice' about my section , well other than have it or die .

I think MIL was insensitive and crass but I also find it unbelieveable that people put their 'labour update' on FB - why?? Surely it is personal between the mother and father. I must be hopelessly out of date but I told no one went I went into hospital to have DS (ended up with an EMCS but that is not the issue here ) - the next day my DH rang his mother to tell her and I rang my parents. It is surely not necessary for everyone to know every single detail and would have avoided a lot of heart ache all round.