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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I was in Tesco's this afternoon and a man

119 replies

ExitPursuedByABear · 04/05/2012 17:16

farted, loudly, whilst I was behind him .

Lots of people in front of him in the aisle, but just me behind him, and he let rip.

I was too surprised to come up with a decent remark so I just walked past him sporting my best cat's bum face.

AIBU for shopping in Tesco? Does this sort of thing happen in other supermarkets?

OP posts:

MamaMaiasaura · 05/05/2012 15:24

Just popped to tesco and couldn't help but fart... My first thought was this thread

Original poster

ExitPursuedByABear · 05/05/2012 17:25

Meconium That is dreadful.

My Dad claims he once saw the then teenage daughter of the people who lived across the road from us have a crap on the drive of their house one evening. Strange folk.

Mama -

OP posts:

rhondajean · 05/05/2012 17:30

In the last year I've started just dropping one in tesco etc if I have to. Ive realised the chances of anyone commenting on it to you are so minimal as they are even more embarassed than you! And if they come on MN and start a thread so be it

My kids love telling the story of the time we were in there, I had a sore stomach and I had to do a silent but violent and the people walking down the aisle towards us stopped, with a look of horror on their face, turned and legged it. It was not my proudest moment.

I should say though that I definitely get this from my dad!

FreudianSlipper · 05/05/2012 17:41

a man did this in the queue in morrisons once and ds outed him

ds: mummy whats that smelly
me: er don't know, wow look at our shopping we have
ds: did you do a pop mummy it was not me
me: er no here have some chocolate buttons
ds: btu mummy can you smell that smelly (getting louder)
me: shall we bake cakes when we get home
ds: pointing to the man in front, it was that man mummy he did the smelly yuk

lots of sniggering from those around his but the guy seemed totally unaware or jsut didn't care

laughlovelife · 05/05/2012 17:43

I was at the farmers market today and a man burped right in my face, I honestly though I was going to be sick, and -dh going to knack him clean out-- vile, people have no manners or consideration for others.

GiserableMitt · 05/05/2012 17:46

My OH doesn't do this, he's far too anal

PukeCatcher · 05/05/2012 18:11

Farts are the funniest thing ever, except my husbands, I go mad if he does it when I'm chatting to him.
Also it gets me that he farts about 20 times a day in front of me, but I do ONE when I'm heavily pregnant and he nearly weed he found it so funny

MayorNaze · 05/05/2012 18:22

i love a good fart thread

RuleBritannia · 05/05/2012 18:29

Yes, it is embarrassing when you have to deal with this sort of thing. The most mannerly way to behave is to ignore it.

Some people could be taking medication for serious conditions and one of the side effects is flatulence. Please show some tolerance for those who do break wind. Sometimes, they have no control over it. Clenching buttocks would have no effect in those circumstances.

I know because my mother suffered with it.

NiniLegsInTheAir · 05/05/2012 18:30

I cleared a whole pub once .

It was this poncy little 'wine bar' full of up-themselves 30 somethings decked out in designer gear, I was with husband and his friends and it really wasn't my kind of place. My stomach felt a bit dodgy so I let a quiet one go and the stench was HORRIFIC. A poncy girl near me said in a loud voice to her crowd that she didn't want another drink as 'this place stinks'. They left, as did most of the rest of the pub except our group.

Would have been fine cept husband knew by the smell it was me and ratted me out to his mates .

shergar · 05/05/2012 19:10

I sat a hideous professional exam recently, which comprised 3 lots of 3-hour papers over 2 days, and we were forcibly sat in candidate number order with no possibility of moving seats. The man in front of me farted continuously throughout all three papers. God only knows how I passed, because I was thinking very dark thoughts all the way through....

AmberLeaf · 05/05/2012 19:21

and then let go a terrible anal scream

What a fantastic expression!

NicNocJnr · 05/05/2012 19:23

Ugh Shergar that's awful [vomface]

I have Crohn's disease and it is once of those dieases that mean your bowels do their own thing - if I can laugh at it after colostmy bags, stomas, surgeries and nearly shitting myself in public on numerous occassions I think people getting offended on onther's behalfs can suck it up. I have never had to go into a stock bay and take a poop - that is just disgusting behaviour.
Just be glad I don't bring a duvet and literally make you suck it up - which is one od DSs fav tricks if his little sister goes in for a cuddle with her big bro - She always falls for a dutch oven no matter how many times I tell her or he does it! His dad is not allowed to dutch oven me but the kids thinks it hilarious - we are a family of fart lovers which for the best really as I'm sure my bottom has a mind of it's own and is trying to communicate!

I still avoid trumping in public though. If it's at all possible. Mostly because I can't bear the thought of inflicting my horrific, face eating smells on anyone.

rhondajean · 05/05/2012 19:42

My husband knew by the smell is was me....this has made my night! We were at a gig last night and I knew it was DH - he denied it at the time but on the way home admitted it was him - we are identifiable to our nearest and dearest by our flatulence!!

Burping in someone's face is vile, it's personal and up close.

fuzzpig · 05/05/2012 19:57

Also it gets me that he farts about 20 times a day in front of me, but I do ONE when I'm heavily pregnant and he nearly weed he found it so funny

OMG have you nicked my DH? You can keep him

hattymattie · 05/05/2012 20:27

I'm so happy other people have husbands like mine. I can hear him fart downstairs when I'm upstairs. He once farted at Disneyland and the people in front of us looked round. The children really told him off but nothing ... nothing will stop him.

fedupworking · 05/05/2012 20:56

I did it once on the beach in Turkey and looked at my husband as if to say OH REALLY hahahahaha

Original poster

ExitPursuedByABear · 05/05/2012 23:14

at couples recognising the smell of each other's farts.

Could have been an olfactory question on Mr & Mrs.

OP posts:

tb · 05/05/2012 23:20

My df always used to fart and blame it on the springs in his well sat in armchair - you know one of those deep leather ones where your knees are higher than your bottom.

He used to laugh almost 'til he cried about the dog though. The dog was an elderly Lakeland terrier. If it was coming up to the time for a walk he used to sleep with his chin on df's feet, just to make sure he didn't get left behind.

Anyway, one day he was lying there and let fly a stinking silent but deadly fart. The smell rose up, df was choking, and all of a sudden the dog's nose shot up and he started sniffing. He turned his head around, and sniffed towards his back end, and then, giving himself an extremely disgusted look, went back to sleep.

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