I was in Tesco's this afternoon and a man

[ExitPursuedByABear]

farted, loudly, whilst I was behind him .

Lots of people in front of him in the aisle, but just me behind him, and he let rip.

I was too surprised to come up with a decent remark so I just walked past him sporting my best cat's bum face.

AIBU for shopping in Tesco? Does this sort of thing happen in other supermarkets?

But we can do it quietly surely, or surreptitiously.

And I was right behind him, caught in the back draft.

Yeah better out than in. I do try to do them silently though then I can pretend it's ds not me.

Troll, moi?

No No No

happy -

Oh come on! We've all let one go in a public place! YABU.

You'd have to be a right weirdo to wank off to this thread when there's one about dog jizz on here today :)

pmsl

Farty Farty fart fart poo poo bogey bum fart

A nun farted in front of me in mass one Sunday!

A poster on the passive aggressive thread earlier today mentioned something about her DH farting to get rid of space invaders. Were you too close by any chance?

Nuns don't fart reeta! you sure it wasn't a convict in disguise?

Oh err - I must lead a very sheltered life do men people get turned on by farting?

everlong - it was big Tesco's not local Tesco's

Exit: haven't you ever googled cakefarter?

Nooooo.

If you know me on here, I am the a prude.

Oh no, have I overstepped an invisible boundary into murkiness?

"Dammit Sir you've just farted in front of my wife!"

"Sorry old chap I hadn't realised it was her turn."

Sorry this ended the thread for me - superb and a round of applause

If I see DH's face go blank as he starts drifting off upwind I know to lear the aisle. I hate farting in public (one doesn't pass wind btw) and I would insert a cork rather than release my bottom burps. But DH would let his go any place any time.

Some pretty grim stories here! Feeling less like a knob for shopping at Waitrose now!

My brother told me that joke but referring to his dog, many years ago, in South Africa ie how dare you fart in front of my dog, it was his turn....

How many things are wrong with that sentence?

Farts though you really cant beat them for releasing a response.
Being such a grounded grown up I always want to retaliate although on the spot farting after three children incl twins is rather risky.

My OH doesn't do this, he's far too anal, but my late father was disgusting. Truly disgusting, because he knew exactly what he was doing and where. It was slyly calculated for maximum effect.

I've accidentally let one go in a supermarket, but I usually run for the bathroom, thanks dad.

Did you know in Japan it's veererry rude to fart and they go to the loo too (special heated wash bum seats too).

When dh goes to tescos he poos there too I am grateful as they are very smelly

I let a silent but violent one go in Ikea last week. It was one that hung in the air thick like a fog. There was an African woman with her teenage son. I really hope the language she spoke just sounded aggressive and she was speaking pleasantly to him because it sounded like he was getting the blame for it. She was giving him pelters!

I farted in the 4th year in a Gymnastics' display in front of the whole school,parents',local Priest the lot....on a tramploine on the 'up' jump in a silent hall I followed it with an "oooo!"

Outside our Waitrose on Wednesday (was walking past not inside),was a protest by the union Unite re some workers' in Bootle whose company was linked to Waitrose. They had an 8 foot inflatable rat,and a loud speaker thing belting out Union songs! 'Twas vair funny watching all the posh people come out to the sound of "You won't get me I'm part of the Union....."