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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be upset if a mum said this about your baby?

126 replies

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 02/05/2012 21:57

Bumped in to a mum from ds1 old nursery today. Not seen her for about six months, maybe more.

We both had our dc2 about the same time.

Other mum looked at my ds2 and the first thing that came out of her mouth was.....

" wow, look at those ears!"

Now, ds2 ears stick out a little (pic on profile), but he's not a human dumbo. I just felt that she was rude and it upset me that she said it.

She didn't back track or make a joke of what she said-that was just what she meant.

Am I being too sensitive?

OP posts:
TeeBee · 02/05/2012 22:30

Are you sure she wasn't saying that his ears are lovely - which they are. He is beautiful.

ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown · 02/05/2012 22:36

Aaah, he's gorgeous! Ignore her, she's either jealous or was making a very misjudged 'funny' comment. Smile

StateofConfusion · 02/05/2012 22:37

he is SO cute, they both are, completely ignore!

Original poster
BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 02/05/2012 22:38

She said,

"wow, look at those ears! You won't miss a trick with those will you?"

By coincidence, ds2 turned away from her at that point.

To which she said,"yeah, you know what I'm saying don't you?"

At that point I made my excuses and left. I don't see how that could have been an endearing comment??

Thanks again for saying my boys are gorgeous-just as I suspected Wink

OP posts:
NicNocJnr · 02/05/2012 22:39

Meh - if his ears stuck out I'd nay bother with it and just cock a brow. Ears stick out, heads grow, anyway if they're beautiful pfft small change.

If it was the other kid that hasn't got sticky out ears I'd be tempted to comment her dc is more than lovely enough to put a stop on this jealously problem but I can be a git.

It's rude to comment on the physical uniqueness of another person if they don't invite comment e.g 'look at DD, ears like her dad - still good for holding her beautiful hair back' or whatever.

Anyway you have a beautiful lo so boo sucks to her. If she was just thoughtless, she'll get a bad bite from someone someday with out you tarnishing your karma

NicNocJnr · 02/05/2012 22:40

When I say other kid I'm referring to my own - not yours op!

iphoned · 02/05/2012 22:42

WTH....what is actually wrong with his ears? He looks gorgeous. I'm not trying to defend her, but my DS is 4 months and I sometimes wish his ears stuck out more because I think boys with big ears are totally handsome. Maybe she was complimenting, rather than being rude?

upsidewide · 02/05/2012 22:46

How rude.

best comment I ever received about DS2 was "oh he has a snub nose just like you!" ...

DH and I laugh about it now. I don't have a snub nose (although DH did start calling me Miss Piggy for a while ...)

NicNocJnr · 02/05/2012 22:47

Hmm sounds pretty dickish to me. I can't find an angle from which her comment could be complimentary.

God knows, I'd leaver her to it. Sad for her she's obviously not very happy with something.

DimplesOHara · 02/05/2012 22:48

My DD normally gets these types of comments except its "Look at them teeth!" as she has a massive gap between her front ones her fathers family trait, poor bugger Wink
Even have complete strangers say it as they're walking past us, doesn't bother me as it shows she's a smiler or up to something naughty again
So YANBU and your friend is tactless

JingleMum · 02/05/2012 22:50

OP - i wouldn't bother replying if i didn't think it - your boys are really beautiful. the eldest is very handsome and the youngest is too cute, his ears are lovely and far from big/sticky out. ignore the stupid, jealous bitch and be very proud at how gorgeous the children you created are!

Viewofthehills · 02/05/2012 22:52

He is very cute!

I haven't forgiven my dad yet- the first thing he said on seeing my pfb DD was-shame about the nose. She is now a pretty gorgeous 14 yr old. Some people think they're funny.

youjusthaventearnedityetbaby · 02/05/2012 23:01

Bloody hell!
She is rude and jealous... Your boys are all gorgeous... Someone said it to me once about DS1 and he now has the cutest pixie ears that he has 'grown into'....
WTF goes through these people's heads that they think they can make a comment like that??

ExitPursuedByABear · 02/05/2012 23:05

There is a well known MN saying - (cannot remember who coined it) which goes

"Did you mean that to sound so rude?"

I have yet to use it, but your situation would have been perfect.

Caaaah!

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 02/05/2012 23:06

"They're not as big as your mouth" would have been an appropriate response. Your boys are lovely btw.

fluffypillow · 02/05/2012 23:08

What a stupid woman. Just ignore. Your boys are totally yummy btw.

Mumsknow · 02/05/2012 23:08

Don't let it upset u,she don't know what she is talk about because I look at your pictures and your boy is very cute

HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen · 02/05/2012 23:11

She was being a bitch.

Ds had huge feet when he was tiny, once you noticed it was hysterically funny. Those comments were forgiven as they were often made with a Shock face, and easily forgiven Grin

Your ds's are both gorgeous. She is a very ugly person indeed.

DeSelby · 03/05/2012 00:16

YANBU that was very rude of her. Don't let it bother you.

HegagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 03/05/2012 00:21

How bloody rude! I'd have pulled her up on it and told her I thought she was being very rude and unkind

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 03/05/2012 00:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flibbertywidget · 03/05/2012 00:34

I don't see anything wrong with his ears!
my DD (5) has a real problem. One is larger than the other and both stick out a lot - courtesy of MIL's genes. I wish I had used these
www.earbuddies.co.uk/ for her.

I had a friend who said something similar, needless to say she is no longer my friend.

If my DD wants to have them corrected then we will allow her to. I am not into plastic surgery per se, but I have spoken to a lot of people with ear issues who say they were bullied horribly. I was bullied for being a fattie, I don't want her to have to "be strong or suck it up and be unhappy" when something can be done about it.

Yes she is my PFB, but my PSB would get the same treatment, fortunately he hasn't inherited MIL's genes Wink

whackamole · 03/05/2012 00:55

Very rude.

And I checked your profile, as I am nosy, and yes, your son does have ears. They are not big and neither do I really think they stick out either Confused what a strange woman.

Chilenachica · 03/05/2012 03:17

Had this happened to me when mine were babies I probably would have been extremely offended, but now I would laugh at her lack of self control

SodoffBaldrick · 03/05/2012 05:58

He's gorgeous. YANBU.