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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I want a dog, DH doesn't... Is he BU?

119 replies

Kushti · 01/05/2012 20:42

I am very keen to get a dog and so are DC's but DH is adamant he doesn't want one and will not even consider the idea as he just doesn't want animals in the house, and as we rent it would be impractical.

Is he being unreasonable to have the final word and not even consider it? Obviously there is no way we can get one if we aren't all in agreement.

OP posts:

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 01/05/2012 20:43

No, he's not being unreasonable. Especially as you rent. Are you even allowed to have a dog?

lisaro · 01/05/2012 20:44

No, of course he isn't. What a stupid question. He is entitled to an opinion, you know.

PoppyWearer · 01/05/2012 20:45

He's not being unreasonable. A dog is a huge commitment. My DH wants one and I'm sure DCs will in due course. It will happen over my dead body!

MordecaiAndTheRigbys · 01/05/2012 20:47

My dp and ds want a dog. I hate dogs. HATE THEM. If they got a dog without my say so i honest to Christ think i would leave. YABU!!

Casmama · 01/05/2012 20:50

Only get one if everyone wants one. Surely it states in your lease whether or not you are allowed pets? YABU.

fedupofnamechanging · 01/05/2012 20:50

I think both of you have to want one - it affects him too. Dogs are expensive, time consuming and can be restricting in terms of freedom to go where you want,when you want.. They also smell and often moult. For some people the lovely part doesn't outweigh the not so nice bits.

Tanyaaah · 01/05/2012 20:51

I would hate a dog, I am never unreasonable.
Really don't understand pets! I was going to start a thread about this!

HazleNutt · 01/05/2012 20:53

you were U to marry someone before such an important matter was discussed. I would not be in a relationship with someone who did not agree to have pets, ever. Too late now, sorry - no pets if they are not wanted by all family members.

oreocrumbs · 01/05/2012 20:53

Dogs are wonderfull pets and bring so much joy - IF you want them. They also bring a hell of a lot of work and financial commitment. Not just the walks and food, but the mess and dirt. Even the most fastidious cleaner won't keep up with a dog.

If he doesn't want a dog it won't work. Even if you and the DC did all of the 'work' it would still affect his home and life.

Everyone has to be in agreement. And in a rented house you would have to get LL's permission too.

inabeautifulplace · 01/05/2012 20:54

Sorry, but YABU. There are certain things significant enough to require a consensus in the household and dependent pet is definitely on the list.

SauvignonBlanche · 01/05/2012 20:55

I'm in a similar situation, DH and the DCs are desperate for a dog but I hate them.
Do you really believe that not having a dog will make you as miserable as having a dog will make your DH?
I'd have to leave home if DH got one.

squeakytoy · 01/05/2012 20:55

Neither of you are being unreasonable at all, but if he doesnt want a dog, then please dont get one. It would be very unfair on the dog.

If your landlord allows you to keep dogs, then why not offer to look after one for a friend while they are away for a few days, see how your husband copes with that and even if you yourself still want one after that.

Dogs are hard work, a commitment, and a tie. And I say that as a dog lover and owner who puts her dog first above holidays, long days out etc, unless good dog care is in place for him.

A dog is likely to live for at least 10 years.. and children may want a dog but are unlikely to be able to look after one properly, which means it falls to you.

Original poster

Kushti · 01/05/2012 20:56

I was always brought up with dogs whereas his mother always hated animals and he was never allowed pets. I realise we both need to be in agreement, I just wish he would consider it rather than a flat out 'no way'.

OP posts:

Chattymummyhere · 01/05/2012 20:57

YABU. I agreed to one dog we had a litter Oh wanted to keep one I did not, I resent the extra dog as it has limited our rental options as she is a puppy, we can have someone look after 1 but two nope so we cannot go on holidays unless we pay £200 kennels fees and many other little things that may not annoy me with the adult really do my head in with the puppy and it causes arguments. I want rid of her partner wants to keep and the battle continues with the resentment building.

Lulabellarama · 01/05/2012 20:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

NettoSuperstar · 01/05/2012 20:59

No, he isn't BU.
I was brought up with dogs, like them well enough, but no way would I have one.
They are a huge huge commitment.

Backtobedlam · 01/05/2012 21:04

He is being v v unreasonable! I'm in exactly the same position where me and dc's are desperate for a dog and dp flatly refuses. In all seriousness though, i suppose he should (grudgingly) be entitled to his opinion. I'm considering witholding sexual favours as the answer, and to make him more amenable to discussions. Perhaps it would work for you to.

Original poster

Kushti · 01/05/2012 21:07

I think the reason I feel he should consider it is because if it was the other way round and it was something he and the DC's were very keen to get then I would at least consider it and discuss it with them.

OP posts:

MordecaiAndTheRigbys · 01/05/2012 21:09

Really hope you are joking there backto bedlam

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 01/05/2012 21:10

Well seeing as I say no way to dh, yabu

startail · 01/05/2012 21:13

We have enough stress leaving our fish for a week.

He is NBU!

boringnickname · 01/05/2012 21:13

Kushti - you rent your home, i would be checking with your landlord first. Have you researched the implications of dog ownership? Have you thought about the financial implications? Food, wormers, flea treatments and vaccinations, insurance? how much per week?

squeakytoy · 01/05/2012 21:13

Getting a living creature is not like getting a new tv, or any other inanimate object though.

Nor is it even comparable to having a rabbit or a goldfish...

I will be honest here.. I have always made it clear to anyone I met that I intended to own a dog and luckily for my husband he also wanted one too. We lived in a flat when we first got together and married, and I was desperate for a dog then but waited until we bought a house with a garden.

tinkertitonk · 01/05/2012 21:15

"I just wish he would consider it rather than a flat out 'no way'."

Why do you assume that he hasn't considered it? You sound self-centred.

Kladdkaka · 01/05/2012 21:16

I was very naughty, I went out and got our dog without husband's consent. I knew he'd say no if I asked (I also knew him well enough to know he'd come round). For the first few weeks the dog thought his name was BloodyDog but then the magic started working. A year later my husband brought the second dog home, then a third (who now lives with my sister) and now I have keep husband on a short leash or we'd be over run.

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