pop across the road whilst baby is sleeping?

[mrsbuckett]

I HAVE NOT DONE THIS.However.DS School is literally across the road. Often, at pick up time baby is fast asleep.Snoring away.I feel bad to wake her up.

Would you dash across the road?

I think it's a bit like the whole answering-the-phone-while-your-baby's-in-the-bath question that I remember my mum (a foster carer so we had lots of babies in the house) and her friends discussing when I was small. Nipping out of the bathroom and grabbing the phone to say 'sorry can't talk', hanging up and going back in could take... What... 30 seconds? A minute? And your bub will more than likely be sat there twanging his willy playing with his bath toys. But what if the person on the end of the phone doesn't shut up? What if it's a call you weren't expecting at that time but it's important? You could feasibly end up being away for 2 or 3 minutes. Which is not good.

What I am ramblingly trying to say (this made sense in my head) is that while you may think it'll only take you a couple of minutes to nip over the road, that may not in reality be the case. You could have another parent strike up a chat. DS's teacher may need to talk to you. DS may be stuck on the loo and be ten minutes late. Bla bla bla.

It's just not worth it.

If the school reported it or another parent then SSD would come out for at least initial visit. Yes they might well close the case if they found nothing else, but you're still in the system then. And if it gets reported again then they likely be back to monitor. How much time is spent on this is another matter, due to staff shortages etc. But i wouldn't want to be in the system personally in the first place for something like that. I work for SSD too (social worker) this is what would happen in our area. So personally I wouldn't do it.

How can there be "no such thing as over-protective" when it comes to babies. If that were true, you'd never leave the house (baby might get attacked by a wandering pitbull, catch some disease, a car might mount the pavement, or a dangerous criminal might attack you both, and what if the pram collapsed, or you tripped whilst wearing a baby sling?) of course there is such a thing as over- protective - and the luckier women receive appropriate treatment for it.

If DS2 went for a nap and I knew that I would probably have to go out I would put him to sleep in his buggy in the hall - is this not an option?

Yes, I would and I have done it. If baby had woken up he would have been crying for 5 mins max.

When DD was very little and had finally fallen asleep in her cot at lunch time I realised I was absolutely starving and ran to the corner shop to grab a choccie bar (shut the front door, took my keys, ran 15 metres to the shop and ran back). Was gone for total of 90 seconds but as I ran back round the corner I bumped smack into a girl from my NCT class who looked at my fist full of choccie, asked where DD was and when I I replied "in her cot, gotta run!" gave me the most horrified look. She never really spoke to me much again after that!! I have since run to the same shop to grab milk or something but if DD is asleep and the door is shut and I am within 30 second of corner shop I dont think thats too risky. Would never stop and chat or go any further though.....in fact I think shop is so close my monitors would prob work.

As for school pick up....potential for delay and risk that other parents would be horrified to know you had left baby alone (and might even report you) makes me think its not worth chancing it.

I've done it a few times. Just to the corner shop for wine baking ingredients. I did cross the road very carefully though.

Don't really understand the issue with "being in the SS system" - it's not Stalinist Russia. i would take the opportunity to ask for some child care support or perhaps an escort for my older child. When I was invariably told that budgets were reserved for children who were genuinely at risk, I would start a complicated and time-consuming correspondence with the local SS director, make a DPA request for any records, complain about any inaccuracies, demand apologies and then activate the statutory complaints procedure (stages 1 to 3, with ombudsman as a last resort). Not only is this more entertaining that soduko, but they wouldn't try it again!

I wouldn't, not becauseanything might happen to a sleeping baby in a cot - it won't - but because stickybeaks in school playground will ask where the baby is, and judge, and report...

Oh well, good for you breathdeeply. Whatever makes you happy.

breathedeeply I am not talking about random events that could occur as part of the every day risk- taking adventure we call life.I'm talking about our own decisions and actions that could allow our babies to be without our protection.We cannot control everything,but I like to do what is within my control,to protect my children.That's all.

Sounds like most mums are never out of earshot of crying baby or monitor.

So noise of spinning washing machine doesn't drown it out, no one forgets to pick up other end of monitor, other children don't fall in the garden and have screaming abdabs, never need to get something out of the car (maybe garage door will jam), tv never on loud enough to drown it out?

Must all be sitting on mumsnet in silence .

so its literally JUST across the road and you can see your front door from the school type thing? then yes i would probably leave a sleeping baby for all of 3 mins whilst i collected a child from school.

i leave dd sleeping whilst i go and hang out washing or watch the older ones out in the cul de sac, i have nipped and knocked on next door to ask if i can borrow something etc.

and it probably would be in range for the baby moniter.

incidentally i know an australian mum who had the same situation but it was a pre-school opposite her house and she said she woudl nip over and collect the pre-school child leaving the baby asleep. it seemed to be seen as 'ok' and she is quite suprised by the 'helicopter parenting' etc you see in the UK.

But it's just not necessary!!! Put the baby for her sleep in the buggy,and pre-empt the situation.Manoeuvre her sleep times a little.Those of us who are not close to our pick up find ways to deal with this situation!

or maybe she is the type of baby that mine were and wouldnt sleep in the pram, or if they did fall asleep in the pram they wouldnt stay asleep if i went out with them and then back into the house. something about crossing the threshold of the house woke them up everytime!

i used to leave them asleep in the pram/pushchair in the front garden.

those of who are not close find solutions because we have to, for me it just means having to wake a sleeping toddler who is then grumpy. but if you can see your front door from the school then why not leave the baby sleeping? it wouldnt be any further away than me taking my bin out to the end of the cul de sac.

I understand your post OP, I have a similar situation. DD2 isn't a reliable sleeper in the buggy so that option doesn't work for us. I have always and reluctantly woken her up if it has been necessary at collection time. I would not judge you for doing it, but I personally would feel v uncomfortable doing it, though can't exactly put my finger on why. For me it's one of those issues thst only you can decide (sorry, that's not v helpful)

i wouldn't do it, to many whats IF.

like what happend if you get hit by a car when crossing the road???

I nearly left baby the other day to nip to the shop at the end of the road. She was lying happily on the floor in the living room, nothing near her to bump into, and I just wanted to dash and buy milk. It would have taken 2 mins. I NEARLY did... and then changed my mind. I'm still unsure why though as lets be brutally honest, I take longer in the shower while she lies on her playmat, and I'm probably more likely to slip and knock myself out in the shower than I am to be hit by a car on the way to the shop

I completely understand where you are coming from. But there's something about shutting that front door that makes it feel a little bit different than from nipping into another room!

Not sure. My test would be if dc at school could hear me yelling from across the road then, yes, and that I would literally be a couple of minutes, having instructed dc at school to come straight out.

I've let dc sleep in a big old country house with thick walls and where monitors don't work - I checked on him regularly, and he was at the top of the house. It was a residential place, not a hotel, but the risk essentially are the same. He was fine.

On the flip side, another time, my bed side light fell off on to my duvet and started scorching it whilst my other dc was napping in the next room. A fire didn't get going but it wasn't until and hour or so later when I went to get my ds up that I noticed.

I find it quite peculiar that a person can be accused of being neurotic and/or a helicopter parent where leaving a small baby alone is the subject matter tbh.

To me,helicopter or neurotic parenting comments could only possibly be bandied about when a parent is not allowing an older child the opportunity and encouragement to explore and develop their independence in a way relative to their abilities.

A tiny baby is completely and necessarily dependant on their carer.

social services would have a field day with us if you think that a normal loving parent leaving a baby in it's cot for 5 minutes out of earshot in order that they are left sleeping while you carry out a quick 'errand' is worth their resources ...
In all seriousness, you know the risks attached to it (if any) and you know realistically how much time it takes you.
If you can fight through the fog of neurotic parents telling you the house will burn down and you'll go to hell as the worst mother in the world, the other side there's common sense.
And the McCanns is a totally different scenario - not even close to what the OP is discussing.

Don't they have a school crossing person so your child could cross safely without you?

I would.