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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be in shock four hour later

490 replies

Rhinosaurus · 01/05/2012 11:17

This morning, my son - the 15 year old

........ who cannot get out of bed.
........who misses two school buses a week because he gets out of bed at 0750 (bus leaves at 0800).
........who sits on the sofa and stuffs food wrappers down the side rather than walk across the room to the bin.
.........who goes to put something in the dishwasher, but when he sees it is full of clean stuff having just finished its cycle, stacks plates and cups up on the worktop waiting for someone else to empty it.
.........who puts clean clothes in the laundry basket rather than fold them up and put them away.

was downstairs in the kitchen today, dressed in school uniform, at 0730, emptying the dishwasher with a cup of tea made for me on the table.....
ConfusedShockConfusedShockConfusedShockConfusedShock

Is he on drugs?

Is there a major unreasonable request coming up, requiring girding of the loins......

Help!

OP posts:
Moln · 03/05/2012 20:34

oh dear, certainly not what most of us had imagine.

Though I think I was the closest with the Clangers thinking it was Moomins which was mistake to be a Moonie tattoo. Don't try and disagree now...

What a tough life Dave has. Poor boy, I do hope he has the strength to find happiness in his furture. He certainly has himself a group of thoughtful and caring friends.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 03/05/2012 20:42

Oh - poor 'Dave' it has been bloody cold :( and it's really sad that his only option appears to be a residental home and not even a foster family, I haven't heard one good thing about those places :(

'Kevin' however, has been fab! Of course it would have been better if he'd told you up front, but I guess he was just trying to help his mate without dobbing him in.

Are you in the cart for saying you'd seen 'Dave' and for 'letting' the police talk to K now that Dave has ended up 'in care'?? Hope not x

Long may the 'no-longer-kevin' last!!

JustFab · 03/05/2012 20:44

The doing shifts comment seems to have made me leak in the eye area.

What an amazing son you have.

kindleholicsannonymous · 03/05/2012 20:46

You must be so proud of your DS Smile

HipHopOpotomus · 03/05/2012 20:46

Oh I feel sad for Dave. And your DS & the Kev's are all wonderful.

Original poster
Rhinosaurus · 03/05/2012 20:51

No I haven't got told off for dobbing in, more likely Dave was fed up with the great outdoors and they were glad to come clean, after all it couldn't go on forever.

The school had given the police the names of friends, who all lived in our area so they would have found out eventually. Apparently the parents couldn't recall one single name of their sons friends some people just don't deserve kids

OP posts:
Original poster
Rhinosaurus · 03/05/2012 20:52

Kevin text him earlier and asked what the home was like, and he got back "nothing like Tracey Beaker" Sad

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 03/05/2012 20:52

Poor Dave, and well done the Kevins. I know from an adult point of view they should have told someone, but loyalty to.the tribe is paramount for Kevins. DB2 spent a stressful few weeks at a similar age trying to talk his friend and friend's GF to tell someone other than him that she was pregnant.

Impressively, 14 years later, friend and GF are happily married, doing well, and have a 13yo Kevin of their own.

PoohBearsHole · 03/05/2012 20:53

Rhino

You say this story isn't that exciting. I disagree, it is far more exciting than getting some tattoed teacher up the duff. Really it is. It is eye opening for your ds and probably has changed his life.

He is now and will probably be a very mature young man who, although I appreciate he didn't come to you with this, will probably appreciate you and trust that you are making the right decisions for him in his future.

And damnit woman you made me weep. I won't forgive you quickly. Poor Dave, but I think this whole episode proves that you have raised a caring and loving young man. You rock. Smile

Scatterplot · 03/05/2012 20:56

Poor guy. I hope things work out for him in the end.

By the way we saved some brownies and teacakes for you Rhino, I hope you'll share them with Kevin. (And maybe he can take some to Dave too.)

boredandrestless · 03/05/2012 21:00

Aaw! Poor Dave. When I was a teen I had a boyfriend who lived in a residential unit - it was horrible. Can you have him round for tea and stuff? The lad I went out with spent almost every waking hour at our house, TBH he did my mum's head in a fair bit but she didn't have it in her to tell him to bog off and she knew how unhappy he was where he was living.

Your DS sounds like a good friend.

wishiwasonholiday · 03/05/2012 21:03

Aww what a lovely ds you have Smile.

Frazzledredhead · 03/05/2012 21:11

I can't say anything better than PoohBearsHole ( a phrase I never thought I'd say!)

Be proud (and have another biccie!)Wink

GrossePopel · 03/05/2012 21:13

Aaawww poohshole has said it all. Smile

thebody · 03/05/2012 21:13

God Lovely ds u have babe and so sad for dave

Glad he has such wonderful mates, u must b proud of your ds. Good on ya

PoohBearsHole · 03/05/2012 21:14

Frazzle - my hole isn't rude in any sense of the word I promise Wink poohbear just has a hole from old age Grin

redrubyshoes · 03/05/2012 21:26

So sad for Dave but thank god he has good friends. Your DS is very special.

MrsWeasley · 03/05/2012 21:29

Aww Bless your son and his organisational skills. If only he knew about this thread he could have asked for festival tickets as well! Grin

OzBrit · 03/05/2012 21:30

What a lovely son you have raised. Poor Dave, but pleased he is getting the right support and has great mates like your Kevin.

crashdoll · 03/05/2012 21:32

You hear a lot of crap in the media about teenage boys but that fact that a group of 'Kevins' fully supported their friend in his time of need speaks volumes. Ok, it would have been easier to tell a parent but they clearly were worried and wanted to show they cared. Go Kevin and friends!

CurrySpice · 03/05/2012 21:50

Awww! Just caught up with this. I think your Kevin sounds smashing.

Poor Dave though :( just heartbreaking

MissM · 03/05/2012 21:55

See, this is why I hate it when the media get all wound up about how feral today's youth are and where have we gone wrong. Some of them are. Most of them aren't. A lot of them are incredibly decent people who look out for someone in a terrible situation. What a lovely lovely group of young people - and I bet they're not the only ones who would behave like this.

TheWizardsWife · 03/05/2012 21:58

I've also been checking this thread for updates. How lovely you son and his friends sound, I hope you are very proud.
I hope things work out for Dave...I have a feeling you will be seeing quite a lot of him!

Ratbagcatbag · 03/05/2012 21:59

I had a really crap upbringing and it is thanks to a couple (one in particular) Kevin's I'm on mums net here typing. Had he not been there I definitely wouldn't. He's still one of my best friends and I'd walk to the ends of the earth and back for him.
It took a while for y DH to understand the depth of feeling I had for a mate but he's had 12 years to get used to it Grin
Hopefully your Kevin will have made a similar impression on Dave.

MeKathryn · 03/05/2012 22:11

Aw how lovely your Kevin is. I agree with MissM about the media and teenagers, we need to hear more stories like this.

I hope poor Dave is OK :(

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