to have a peek in a visiting childs bookbag?

[canthelplooking]

Just out of curiosity really. Interesting to know how other children are getting on compared to DD.

the reading folders at our school and the one down the road are transparent.

File this under "too much time on your hands."

At least you have the decency to be a bit embarrassed. But honestly, get a serious grip.

"everyone who professes smug innocence of such thoughts"

You can't make a bad deed better by calling people who don't do it "smug", you know. Before reading this thread I would never even have thought about it, not because I'm A Better Person but because... well, I just wouldn't have thought about it, because, like, other children's book bags, reading records etc are just not interesting. I used to have enough trouble keeping track of my own DCs' stuff.

(I have, however, been known to have an upside-down peek at the grade cards at open evenings ).

I've seen this thread before

I didn't even know that book bags differed from child to child until lately.

The truth is I don't care. All I care about it DS. I am happy with his progress. I don't want to start comparing him with others. I think it's best if I just accept him where he is and trust that the school I chose would inform me if anything were amiss.

Just had a thought. Am I being negligent?

was the other child pleasingly dim?

Annie - Oh! That is just too tempting, isn't it? I mean, it was right there in front of me, albeit upside-down, and DS's teacher was struggling to see his name, and I was only trying to help her find it, and it was just so difficult not to see.

YABU- it wouldn't cross my mind to look in any of my dds friends' bags

If you're child is doing well, be happy. If your child's teacher is happy with the progress he or she has made, be happy. If you are not happy with the progress your child has made, speak to the teacher.

Whatever the other child is doing, that is irrelevant (unless you are planning to trade yours in.....)

I wouldn't do it myself but I wouldn't be bothered if someone looked in my dc's bookbag..... They were both at their friends after school today, I'm now wondering if anyone has had a look.

This thread does crop up at odd times, OP is not alone. I also wonder if visiting DC was pleasingly dim, or is OP now upset that her DC isn't as bright as she thought?!

My children are so young that this isn't an issue for me, so can someone explain what the point would be, so I can sort my stance out on it?

Either you're happy with how your child is progressing, or you're not. Reading ability isn't supposed to be shared out around a class like play-dough, is it?

Because some parents love it when their child is doing better than all the rest. Competitive parenting is yuck and it must be exhausting,

Not only is it exhausting - it doesn't get you anywhere.

They can feel superior if the visiting DC is on a lower band, but the visiting DC may be a real high flyer in 3 years time.

Lots of stronnng opinions here as if it's the most outrageous, intrusive thing ever done by anyone.

'doth protest too much' comes to mind.

Anyway, I have never looked because DD hasn't had a friend home straight from school. (Always at after school club.)

Hardly the crime of the century fgs is it? Everyone likes to think their child is doing well and the real competitive mummies stand out by a mile, over-pronouncing and over-emphasising everything they say in a loud voice, always in the classroom and telling me what a genius their child is. My own very average child at school is doing her law degree - she is certainly not super brainy, but just really, really wants it. Just want her to be happy.

Sat in the park with other parents last week, one or two asked to look at where my GS was up to in his book bag. I don't care, but this can work both ways. I had recently been told his writing was awful and may need intervention. I spent some extra time with him over Easter hols and two other parents both said their bright DDs were well behind him. So, same issue in reverse really and it made me feel good. Do I feel guilty? No way.

I'm shocked that anyone would think this was ok but even more that anyone has such a small life that they'd even consider it

Why?? I just don't get it? You must be a very bored/boring person to think of it.

After school playdate rule is that homework is done first. They get homework everyday so yes, I can honestly say that we all look in each others bookbags, we also check homework and if necessary do reading with all the kids.

It doesn't worry me in the least but then again we are a small class and all the mums know each other and really do care about each others children so any information we have is used to help one another as opposed to build up our own ego's.

A couple of little reminders of rights and wrongs here:

Don't read other people's diaries.
Don't hack other people's e mails and messages
Don't look in other people's bathroom cabinets,and
Don't look in other kids bookbags.

Simples!

I feel sorry for your flaming... I think it's a natural feeling to have even if it won't be experienced by everyone. I've never been in that situation, but hope I wouldn't be tempted. I'd keep your DC's progress between you and their teacher; any friend of your child is likely to be of similar level anyway otherwise they'd struggle to relate to each other wouldn't they? At primary school all the children that went on to grammar gravitated towards each other as I recall.

Don't beat yourself up. It's a lesson I and every parent has to learn - embrace the child you have, not that you want. I'm sure you know all this and have posted because of your shame and to seek reassurance. Forget about it & ignore the spite.