to find mil's continuous incorrect advice annoying and a bit hurtful?

[fullofregrets]

I am a type 1 diabetic. I have been for nearly 20 years. Alas mil seems to think that she is the guru on the subject as her sil has type 2 diabetes.
She also sometimes reads things in the papers and makes the following sort of comments:

'I read that if you eat healthy and exercise you might be able to stop your injections.' -nope, that's type 2 and certainly wouldnt apply to all type 2s anyway.

'If you lose weight you might not be diabetic anymore.' I'm a size 8. When I pointed this out she said 'that's just what I read.'

'I heard that if you are fat you are more likely to be diabetic, were you fat when you were diagnosed?' No. And type 1 has nothing to do with weight and not all type 2 does either.

'Did you eat a lot of sweets when you were little? Do you think that's why you're diabetic?'

I politely rebuff and try and tell myself she is trying to be helpful in a tactless misguided way. But actually I find the suggestion that I have somehow brought this miserable condition on myself and 'deserve it' quite hurtful. And it is never me that brings it up as I don't really talk.about it, always her.

And scrawl "THIS IS THE ONE i HAVE" in red pen on the Type 2 one ..

I still don't see why it's any of her business and would be more inclined to tell her that you don't want your diabetes to be a topic for general discussion and gossip.

I'm not with the 'be kind to m-i-l' bunch.

I would be abrupt and firm and tell her where to get off.

If she can't be bothered to listen to you, the one who actually has db1, why will she pay attention to leaflets or anything else.

She wants to be seen as concerned and helpful whilst in fact being tactless and selfish, or she would take onboard what you have told her.

Also, agree with other poster about wanting a bit of drama in her life. My m-i-l phoned me daily to supposedly show she cared and give me support when I had cancer scare. The last bloody thing you need is someone's angst ridden phone calls every day when all you want is to put it to the back of your mind and get on with your life (as long as it lasts). Fortunately I am ok now but you don't know that at the time. M-i-l had a boring life and my probs produced a bit of drama for her and imo she wanted to be seen to 'care'.

Being a bit harsh to be honest but who needs daily phone calls - no one else did it.

Have you noticed, though, as a general point, how a lot of people can't accept that a person is just ill, and think it must be their fault? A few years ago when my daughter was ill, several people asked me if I thought it was a result of her vegetarian diet. It somehow seems to make people feel better if they think other people are ill because they have been eating the wrong thing. There was a great example of this in the Mail a while back - a poor woman who had COPD despite being a non-smoker (her parents had been heavy smokers so probably a consequence of passive smoking). Loads of people in the comments said, "Well, she's fat, if she exercised a bit more, she probably wouldn't be ill." When of course obesity has nothing to do with COPD at all.

my experience with own MIL is that if you can get her to shut the hell up on one subject, another will rock up in its place...
which is why it is better to adopt the passive approach. Then at least you don't do or say anything you have to feel bad about.

people are right about how illness has to be 'your fault'

i have bad eczema and though I am aware there are a lot of things that can trigger flare ups, i and most of my generation in my family have very genetic eczema, asthma, hayfever ulcerative colitis and crohns. the idea that this is due to us eating cheese occasionally is infurating.

we were all breastfed for at least 6 months too, but omg the number of people who ask us about that! i will breastfeed my children but the idea that it will completely protect them from the effects of a very strong gene is absurd.