to find mil's continuous incorrect advice annoying and a bit hurtful?

[fullofregrets]

I am a type 1 diabetic. I have been for nearly 20 years. Alas mil seems to think that she is the guru on the subject as her sil has type 2 diabetes.
She also sometimes reads things in the papers and makes the following sort of comments:

'I read that if you eat healthy and exercise you might be able to stop your injections.' -nope, that's type 2 and certainly wouldnt apply to all type 2s anyway.

'If you lose weight you might not be diabetic anymore.' I'm a size 8. When I pointed this out she said 'that's just what I read.'

'I heard that if you are fat you are more likely to be diabetic, were you fat when you were diagnosed?' No. And type 1 has nothing to do with weight and not all type 2 does either.

'Did you eat a lot of sweets when you were little? Do you think that's why you're diabetic?'

I politely rebuff and try and tell myself she is trying to be helpful in a tactless misguided way. But actually I find the suggestion that I have somehow brought this miserable condition on myself and 'deserve it' quite hurtful. And it is never me that brings it up as I don't really talk.about it, always her.

Or is that Pancreaie?

Tatty, it kind of is- you eat your chips and work out roughly the carbs and dose yourself for the meal. It also runs a drip; it's called basal/bolus.

If you are doing loads of excercise and burning it off, you can suspend the dose/drip.

She might have put on weight if her blood sugars are more stable; if it's consistently high it can make you lose a lot of weight really quick, and it will make you feel very ill.

According to DP- everyone's different!

It is pretty much a full time insulin drip (similar size to a mobile phone) but because you can have loads of different insulin rates it means you can keep control of your blood sugars better.

DP wants the one that does your blood sugar from a probe as well, but I doubt he'll score that from the NHS. He has to have his pump insured against accidental damage!

My IL used to upset me as one of my parents is diabetic they'd call it that sugar thing and seem to think it was cause by to much sugar and were very judgmental.

Nothing I said ever made any difference they knew better. Then a forth right friend developed Type 2 - they made mistake of offering their advise and knowledge. No idea what happened other than they didn't see the friend for a while - diabetes is never mentioned at all now. I think their friend educated them in a forthright fashion.

Probably not much help OP - but never know maybe your MIL will come across another such forthright diabetic .

I think OP's MIL might like to spend the afternoon with my DP...

Shall we set them up missV?

If it went well perhaps a whole new career could be possible hiring his services to people with annoyingly ignorant family members to forthrightly educate about diabetes .

He could maybe run seminars.

Still reading this thread I see there are many people with relatives who need to attend seminars on various medical conditions! Why don't people just stay quiet?!

HI fullofregrets

I understand your pain my DH is type 1 and has been since a teenage even his DM says it is because he drank a lot of milkshakes when he was younger WTF!

We were watching 10 OClock live though a few weeks ago and they had a Dr on going on about Diabetes and lifestyle and being fat etc etc and she made absolutely no disctinction between type 1 and type 2 so when bloody TV Drs cant be correct and specific what hope have other people!

Interestingly he has been approved to go on the pump and has been trying to lose weight for a while so I well mention your post about losing weight after going on the pump!

sparkle I have been known to write to people on tv and in newspapers and complain if they have made no distinction between type 1 and 2.

I think I lost weight after going on a pump because my insulin requirement dropped (which it usually does by around a third) and generally long acting insulins like lantus make you more prone to gain weight, and also because I could exercise without going hypo. In fact I have less hypos in general which means I'm not eating just because I have to.
Best decision ever ever ever.

She is a twat. And your dh needs to have a word in her stupid, ignorant eat about how idiotic and ignorant her comments are. You are a saint to put up with her! On another note, do you mind pm me info on your pump? My brother is diabetic and really struggles with his insulin levels etc and I would love to know more about your insulin pump?

mspaper not at all, will send you pm later when have a bit more time. I think everyone with diabetes should be offered a pump if they want one, they are so so so much better than the injections.

Wow that sounds exactly what he is hoping for he really struggles with balancing his bs levels when he goes to the gym and subsequently has to eat several thousand penguins when hypo!!

Our diabetic nurse is scheduling him on the next training course in July so we are both looking forward to it!

I would be seeing alot less of someone that rude.
I would also be bluntly telling her that I didn't want her discussing my medical condition if she ever brought the subject up and getting very frosty with her. You shouldn't have to give her medical info. Your medical condition is none of her business. You haven't asked for her opinion, she shouldn't give it.

Ds2 is 4; he was diagnosed in Feb so we're new to all this. I'm going to ask for a pump for him at our next hosp appointment. Although I'm a bit worried about how on earth a 4yo manages with a bit of expensive technology attached to his waist all day long! They tell me the pumps are very robust and I know they give them to babies and toddlers, but still.

Tatty, your friend might have put on weight because suddenly she can eat what she likes, when she likes, without having to give herself an injection. Much more scope for snacking, on a pump!

Info about pumps here for those who are interested! - www.input.me.uk/

She probably thinks she is helping, by looking out for relevant information. And plenty of people don't know the Type 2 Type 2 distinction, I would definitely tell her about that, but not in a nasty way, just 'oh, that sounds like a different type of diabetes than my type, mine's called Type 1 and it's not the same'.

But, I don't see the point of getting all upset about it. If you have any condition (ME, cancer, Type1) people either tell you about a relation they know that had it, or tell you about things they heard off the telly. My relations know I work in a certain area, and people send me stuff or provide internet links, they are usually not relevant whatsoever, but I would never tell them this.

Unless you think it's actually nasty, but it doesn't sound like this. She does, as Le Queen says, sound a bit dozy, which is why I would give her a simple message (that's not my type of diabetes, mine is different). She will then go round educating everyone else about these two different types in a similarly irritating fashion.

please I have told her! Very many times.
It's when she starts saying in front of other people that aren't even aware I have the condition. I don't particularly want it broadcast!

What do you think about the idea of sending her a leaflet?

I don't think it is malicious as such, more that she likes a bit of a drama and tries to turn everything into one!

I think I might give her leaflet and just say something like 'I thought you might be interested, especially with your sil being a diabetic too.'

Might work?

Yes, although i'd make sure I used to opportunity to disguish the two types otherwise she just isn't going to get it.

Maybe highlight the bit relating to type 2?

Bit passive-aggressive ?

Actually if I could get two sets of info, one about type 1 and the other about type 2 on completely different pieces of paper it may help her brain to separate the two conditions!