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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL wants to take ds on hot air balloon

175 replies

hellenback · 23/04/2012 14:58

I'm not keen - he is 13 - dd much younger not invited - MIL in 70's and not fit or active! Using all usual old lady tactics to get my consent but hanging tough - as what if something awful happens???? Son cross with me - when he's 18 he can make own choices. Am I the baddy???? DH on fence! She's been nagging now for 3 years!!!! Why won't she drop it and take her DD instead????

OP posts:
seeker · 23/04/2012 17:56

This is the bizarrest anti MIL thread I've ever read- and i've read some doozies!

Safmellow · 23/04/2012 18:00

Well I think that is the best you can do under the circumstances, am sure all will be fine when/if he does go, I bet you will spend the whole time worrying though :(

SimplySoo · 23/04/2012 18:15

YABU! Your MiL obviously really wants to do this to fulfil her dream while she's still able. Let your DC decide.

tinkertitonk · 23/04/2012 18:25

OP, what is your problem with this? You sound unhinged.

tinkerbel72 · 23/04/2012 18:34

This really is a strange thread! It sounds an exciting and interesting thing to do. Your son will have an amazing experience. Why do you wish to deny him that?

seeker · 23/04/2012 18:36

What exactly are you worried about?

fortifiedwithtea · 23/04/2012 18:43

OP I think you have received harsh critizism over this. You shouldn't consent on a guilt trip. He's your DS and you are not comfortable with it, end of. Your DH should grow a pair and back you up.

Also its really unfair that DS knows about this balloon invitation. IMO he should only have known about it once it had been approved. As it is now he'll feel resentful he'll get over it if he can't go.

YANBU

Salmotrutta · 23/04/2012 18:50

I always wanted to do a hot air balloon trip - until I read Enduring Love and saw the film.

seeker · 23/04/2012 18:50

He's 13!

The OP may possibly have a point if he was 4!

Good to see "End of." and "Grow a pair" in the same post. Doesn't happen often enough in mybopinion.

seeker · 23/04/2012 18:51

Or even in my opinion.

tinkerbel72 · 23/04/2012 18:52

Hes 13. Not a toddler. You don't just suddenly watch your children being able to make all their own decisions at 18 without any preparation! Surely life is about discussion, negotiation, encouraging children to take steps towards being an adult.

This seems like an exciting thing to do, and it has a very good safey record. If you are going to be so controlling of what he does just to allay your own worries (no matter how irrational they are) then he won't thank you for it.

I think you should let him go as he's been invited, he wants to do it, he will be less at risk than if he walks into town instead that afternoon (do you him walk or be driven anywhere??) and you don't present any logical reason why you don't want to let him anyway!

GrossePopel · 23/04/2012 19:15

I'm with fortifiedwithtea.

Cremeeggsandkitkatsoldiers · 23/04/2012 19:19

you sound bonkers, how active do you think she needs to be to stand beside him in a hot air baloon?, she doesn't have to power it using her own lungs and exercise generated thermal energy!

MarySA · 23/04/2012 19:23

It used to be my all time wish to go in a hot air balloon. But there have been a few accidents lately. And I knew somebody who had abit of a scare up in one because apparently the 'pilot' doesn't really have control over the way the balloon will go. So I wouldn't let my child go in one now. I know there is the argument life is dangerous. So it is. But I'd still say no.

HillyWallaby · 23/04/2012 19:24

I wouldn't allow it. Let him do it when he is over 18 if he really wants to. But then I speak as a person who sees danger in everything!

Salmotrutta · 23/04/2012 19:27

I think it's the lack of real control thing that would concern me.

At least a plane or car can be manouevred and potentially avoid trouble - not always though Sad.
But a hot air ballon is surely at the mercy of so many uncontrollable things? Like air currents etc ...

AThingInYourLife · 23/04/2012 19:34

"Also its really unfair that DS knows about this balloon invitation. IMO he should only have known about it once it had been approved."

He's 13 years of age. He doesn't need his mother to run interference in his relationship with his own grandmother. Confused

inabeautifulplace · 23/04/2012 19:50

Let him go, it'll be great fun and it's a nice shared memory during his childhood, which doesn't have long left in the grand scheme of things. I totally understand irrational fear but in this instance I feel you should plaster on a fake smile and bid them bon voyage.

GinPalace · 23/04/2012 19:56

his childhood doesn't have much left - she might not either!! Make the memories while you can I think. :)

SoftSheen · 23/04/2012 20:37

I went up in a balloon for my 21st birthday. It was a wonderful experience that I will never forget. I would let him go! :)

moreyear · 23/04/2012 22:01

i.stuff.co.nz/national/6224922/Hot-air-balloon-crash-near-Carterton-kills-11

There was a terrible ballooning accident here (NZ) recently - the old adage everything is perfectly safe till it goes horribly wrong. It is a bit silly to pretend there is no risk, though statistically it is safer than travelling across town in a car. The main difference is, I suppose, if something does wrong your chances of survival are very slim.

Angelico · 23/04/2012 22:10

He will love it OP - do let him go. It will be a real treat for your MIL too and let's face it she's of advancing years. It will give him a lovely memory of time spent with her. Having lost my darling gran last year, trust me I treasure every memory, especially the offbeat ones.

MeconiumHappens · 23/04/2012 22:14

YABU, its a fab experience and not something he may get offer to do any time again soon! Dont be a kill joy!

lolajane2009 · 23/04/2012 22:14

yabu, i would not say that at a younger age but at 13 yabu

pumpkinsweetie · 23/04/2012 22:20

So are you going to let him go op?
I hope so as i think it would be a great exprience, theres nothing 100% safe in life and im sure he will be fine with responsible adults.
I think your mil is quite generous it must be costing her a fortune