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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who was BU? Me, or the cat's bum mouth couple?

107 replies

BellaOfTheBalls · 21/04/2012 12:08

DS1 is almost 4 & was quite late to potty train so I am still slightly panicky. Today, exactly halfway between the cafe we have just left and our house he announces that he "needs a wee RIGHT NOW Mummy!". I hurry him up the road as fast as I can which is no mean feat with two bags of shopping and DS2 in his pram. I get as far as a big tree on a quiet street about 300yds from our house where he has a wee against the tree. There are no houses nearby, the tree is at tge entrance to a car park. He was cross eyed & tearful with the effort; he would not have made it home. A couple are walking past, giving it cats bum
mouths & looking at me as if I had just openly defecated on their living room floor.

When a boys gotta go, a boys gotta go right? WIBU?

OP posts:
seeker · 21/04/2012 14:08

And I don't think you even have to be discreet- he's 4!

mirry2 · 21/04/2012 14:11

Of course little ones should be able to go wherever when they feel the need urgently.

Debeez · 21/04/2012 14:15

Agree to be fair Seeker, everyone's got one or the other. More a case of ensuring any cats bums have as little as possible to whinge about rather than an attitude of "oh that's a penis therefore it's rude" from me. My son was a "naked goblin" between the ages of 2-4, if he was indoors he was naked :o

KatieMiddleton · 21/04/2012 14:19

The other day an elderly man on a zimmer had a wee by the pub. There are loos inside but I'm guessing he just couldn't make it. Unfortunately he pissed between the picnic tables by the pub, another half a foot and he could have gone in a plant pot but really, if it was that or his trousers I think the former is preferable.

I'd rather someone weed on the road/behind a bush/down a drain than in their pants. Mainly because if it's in pants it's still in public but just more embarrassing, wet and stinky for the person peeing.

zzzzz · 21/04/2012 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedHotPokers · 21/04/2012 14:23

YANBU
My DD (5) still has the odd wee behind a tree if she's caught short, and she is useless at crouching down (wees over her shoes EVERY time, even with me holding her Grin) so we usually have to remove knickers, tights and shoes first!

Apparently when I was a toddler and being potty trained, my Mum used to take a potty with her everywhere, and it wasn't unusual for me to have a wee on the bus! Blush

amistillsexy · 21/04/2012 14:27

My 3 boys wee on a tree all the time. It was a bit embarrassing when I was talking to the prim head teacher in the playground about DS1's behaviour that day, and she looked up to see DS2 standing on the grassy slope next to the playground, next to the tree, but not behind it, and giggling as he weed in a big arc down the slope...

I sloped off. Blush

seeker · 21/04/2012 14:28

My dd has never been able to pee outside without getting it everywhere- this was a real problem for her when she was on a winter survival challenge with the Scouts when she was 14.......

Haggisfish · 21/04/2012 15:25

Now I have children, you are NBU, but before we had them, I'm afraid I would have been judgy pants.

Probably one of those sorts of situations!

hairylemon · 21/04/2012 15:33

yanbu

Sassy its a bit meanie pants to suggest a little kid wets themselves. My DS has also potty trained pretty late but is very proud of how well he is doing (we still have to cheer every single bastard wee / poo he does Hmm) , hed be terribly upset if he had an accident now so if I can prevent that by letting him pee in a bush/against a tee/behind a car door at the roadside then thats what I'll do.

greenbananas · 21/04/2012 15:38

Of course you were not being unreasonable. Perhaps the couple did not have children or had forgotten what having young children can be like.

BlueFergie · 21/04/2012 15:38

No this is fine I think. I did once see a lady let her son have a wee in a playground. The ground was bark covered, and they were off to the side but still in the playground were kids run, roll and mess around. There were loads of bushes she could have taken him in to as well. I was a bit cats bum mouth about that I have to say.

Latsia · 21/04/2012 15:42

Pre-children I would have done the same as the couple. Now I would have no problem with a child weeing somewhere slightly out of the way. I did see a woman letting her boy wee in the corner of our local playground - the toddler area is a giant sandpit with slides and swings etc and thought that was pretty rank, but generally no.

No excuse for not cleaning up your child's poo though.

Latsia · 21/04/2012 15:43

BlueFergie - similar situation and I agree with you.

RevoltingPeasant · 21/04/2012 15:44

I pee in bushes all the time and I am 32! Confused

Hopefullyrecovering · 21/04/2012 15:45

I mean this in the kindest possible way, but YABU

There is nothing more distasteful than seeing grown men pissing in public. It's horrible. And learning not to piss in public is something we have to teach our children. You could have taken your DS to the loo in the cafe, before you left. Isn't that part of potty training? Being alert to when these things might happen?

RevoltingPeasant · 21/04/2012 15:45

I mean when we are out in the countryside walking and whatnot, I don't mean the neighbours' hydrangeas are a destination of choice Blush

PigeonPie · 21/04/2012 15:46

YWNBU I have been in a similar situation with DS1 on numerous occasions as he was just not able to hold on for even a minute at that age. However, we do have a rule about going to the loo before we leave to do anything / go anywhere; so they have to go before we leave the house / get in the car etc and I'm afraid I never ask them if they need to go as they will invariably say no!

hairylemon · 21/04/2012 16:27

Hopefully - I also mean this in a nice way but do you have children / have you potty trained? IME some kids get the 'feeling' and some dont. My DS doesnt, I can ask him one minute if he needs a wee, he'll give me this face Hmm and tell me in no uncertain terms that no, he doesnt. Then I'll ask him 5 minutes later and he does a piss that a racehorse would be proud of.

I agree there is nothing more distasteful than seeing a grown man pissing in public, but we're talking about children who dont know any better. Children are allowed to do a lot of things that we try and steer them away from as they get older, its all part of learning about boundaries.

DollysDrawers · 21/04/2012 16:38

Hopefully you can't see the difference between a 4 year old kiddie having a widdle against a tree and a grown adult having a piss against a tree? Really?

A little boy cannot possible hold on to it, or even know when he needs until it's too late in some cases. An adult can. I am gobsmacked that anyone would have an issue with this.

nizlopi · 21/04/2012 16:56

Hopefully, there is a world of difference between a fully grown man pissing against a tree and a little boy doing it. If you can't see that then... woah.

Hopefullyrecovering · 21/04/2012 17:37

Well, I have potty-trained two of my own. No pissing against trees was required, or is necessary IMO. Each to their own.

greenbananas · 21/04/2012 17:44

Hopefullyrecovering children do train differently and have different capabilities. Perhaps you were just lucky.

TwoIfBySea · 21/04/2012 17:46

Hope you're feeling justified now Bella! Willies come in handy when caught short and my dts have had to water a tree or bush in their time - it's just what happens. Obviously cat-bum faced couple have never seen what dogs get up to, or any other animal for that matter.

I'm afraid I'd have lowered my standard to say something to them!

seeker · 21/04/2012 17:46

It always makes me laugh when people say "each to their own" it actually means "I am right and you are so wrong you couldn't be wronger"

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